Status: First Story
Running Through My Mind
Crayons
Sleepy bright green eyes peeked out from behind thick brown lashes, and a small yawn escaped Emerson's mouth.
"Mommy, where are we?" She asked, looking directly at me and then back towards Louis who was now intently staring back at her.
I walked over and undid her buckle and picked her up out of the seat, "We are visiting your uncle Louis hun." I said hoping that she was too tired from the car ride to ask questions. She remained quiet, as we began walking into the house. The familiarity of this place was not comforting as opposed to the restaurant. I wanted to grab Emmy and run back into the car and never come back, but I knew that I had been running long enough and it was time to stop.
Louis remained silent as he looked down at her as she struggled undoing her shoelaces. He bent down and untied them for her and she muttered a small thank you and gave him a big smile.
"Hey Emerson I have something that you might find fun, just while your mom and I chat." He turned the television on and she clumsily climbed her way onto the couch, her eyes shining bright when she saw Peppa Pig on the giant screen in front of her.
I kissed her forehead and followed Louis into the kitchen where we would be able to talk more freely.
I leaned against the counter while Louis had his back turned to me with his hands running through his hair.
"God, she looks just like him. How could you do this?" he asked quietly.
"I was scared. I didn't find out until I had already left. By that point it was for the best." I answered, my words coming out shaky and full of sadness.
Louis drew in a deep breath, "I get it, but please tell me you're planning on telling Harry. Briar this is- this is heavy. You can't expect me to keep a secret like this."
"Please, just for a little while. I need to be the one to tell him. God, I don't regret doing what I did Louis. It was for the best, it had to be but I feel like such a terrible person." I said my head now in my hands.
"Hey you are the farthest thing from, you are smart you were just trying to protect her. You may not have made the best choice but you felt like you needed to. It's just time to make a new choice is all. It's going to be hard, but I'll help you. You have a healthy and beautiful little girl, and that is all you need to focus on."
I sighed knowing he was right, "I'll tell him soon." I said before adding, "I'm really sorry to hear about you and El, I know how much you loved her."
He looked towards the living room as Emerson giggled, "You sometimes have to sacrifice your happiness for the people you love."
********************************************************************************
The rest of our visit with Louis was anything but serious. For some reason Louis had a 100 pack of crayons just casually sitting in his closet (although each were worn down as if they had been used 1000 times before). We laughed as he defended the fact that coloring was therapeutic. Emerson easily opened up to him, and he instantly fell in love.
Dinner came and went leading to a glass of wine in the kitchen while my beautiful girl slept on the couch completely exhausted from the day.
"You look absolutely awful Louis." I said seriously looking into his tired eyes.
"I feel absolutely awful. I mean I know that we had to end it for both of our sakes but I didn't think it would be this hard. Does it get better?"
He looked towards me.
"If you're not supposed to be together, then yes I promise you will feel better. It just takes a lot of time."
All he did was nod, "How much more time?"
"I don't know, when I know I'll tell you. I do know someone that may be able to make it speed up though."
"Thanks Briar but I don't think that I'm ready yet."
"Are you sure? She's got these bright green eyes and killer dimples. LOVES to color so I just know the two of you will get along great." I said now smirking.
"I told you it is therapeutic." He claimed once again.
I laughed and got up from the table and strolled over to the couch following the small snores.
"Would it be alright if I came over tomorrow?" Louis asked as I bent over to pick up the sleeping girl.
"Of course." I gave him a reassuring smile, to which he kisses the top of Emerson's head and then mine.
"I'm really happy you're back Bri."
"Me too Lou, me too."
**********************************************************************************
The restaurant was busy and by busy I mean swarmed. I don't think I have used the bathroom in well over 8 hours. Scratch that 9.
Louis being the great friend he is offered to pick of Emmy from school, so at least that is one more thing to help me get through the day.
I had already broken four plates, two glasses, and a microwave. The last one I didn't even think was possible.
Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse an elderly women tripped walking out to her car on the path that led to the parking lot. I ran out in a hurry, concern written all over my face.
I bent over to help her up but before I could a young man knelt down in front of her offering his arm, his voice sounded so familiar, but I was too focused on making sure that she would be alright to place it.
"Oh both of you don't need to fuss over me. I've done much worse!" The kind women smiled at me, when I was sure she really was fine I met the eyes of the kind stranger who had stopped to help.
I had met those eyes before. I fell in love with those eyes before. I still am in love with them.
"Briar?" his raspy voice sounded like music to my ears.
"Harry." I whispered.
"Mommy, where are we?" She asked, looking directly at me and then back towards Louis who was now intently staring back at her.
I walked over and undid her buckle and picked her up out of the seat, "We are visiting your uncle Louis hun." I said hoping that she was too tired from the car ride to ask questions. She remained quiet, as we began walking into the house. The familiarity of this place was not comforting as opposed to the restaurant. I wanted to grab Emmy and run back into the car and never come back, but I knew that I had been running long enough and it was time to stop.
Louis remained silent as he looked down at her as she struggled undoing her shoelaces. He bent down and untied them for her and she muttered a small thank you and gave him a big smile.
"Hey Emerson I have something that you might find fun, just while your mom and I chat." He turned the television on and she clumsily climbed her way onto the couch, her eyes shining bright when she saw Peppa Pig on the giant screen in front of her.
I kissed her forehead and followed Louis into the kitchen where we would be able to talk more freely.
I leaned against the counter while Louis had his back turned to me with his hands running through his hair.
"God, she looks just like him. How could you do this?" he asked quietly.
"I was scared. I didn't find out until I had already left. By that point it was for the best." I answered, my words coming out shaky and full of sadness.
Louis drew in a deep breath, "I get it, but please tell me you're planning on telling Harry. Briar this is- this is heavy. You can't expect me to keep a secret like this."
"Please, just for a little while. I need to be the one to tell him. God, I don't regret doing what I did Louis. It was for the best, it had to be but I feel like such a terrible person." I said my head now in my hands.
"Hey you are the farthest thing from, you are smart you were just trying to protect her. You may not have made the best choice but you felt like you needed to. It's just time to make a new choice is all. It's going to be hard, but I'll help you. You have a healthy and beautiful little girl, and that is all you need to focus on."
I sighed knowing he was right, "I'll tell him soon." I said before adding, "I'm really sorry to hear about you and El, I know how much you loved her."
He looked towards the living room as Emerson giggled, "You sometimes have to sacrifice your happiness for the people you love."
********************************************************************************
The rest of our visit with Louis was anything but serious. For some reason Louis had a 100 pack of crayons just casually sitting in his closet (although each were worn down as if they had been used 1000 times before). We laughed as he defended the fact that coloring was therapeutic. Emerson easily opened up to him, and he instantly fell in love.
Dinner came and went leading to a glass of wine in the kitchen while my beautiful girl slept on the couch completely exhausted from the day.
"You look absolutely awful Louis." I said seriously looking into his tired eyes.
"I feel absolutely awful. I mean I know that we had to end it for both of our sakes but I didn't think it would be this hard. Does it get better?"
He looked towards me.
"If you're not supposed to be together, then yes I promise you will feel better. It just takes a lot of time."
All he did was nod, "How much more time?"
"I don't know, when I know I'll tell you. I do know someone that may be able to make it speed up though."
"Thanks Briar but I don't think that I'm ready yet."
"Are you sure? She's got these bright green eyes and killer dimples. LOVES to color so I just know the two of you will get along great." I said now smirking.
"I told you it is therapeutic." He claimed once again.
I laughed and got up from the table and strolled over to the couch following the small snores.
"Would it be alright if I came over tomorrow?" Louis asked as I bent over to pick up the sleeping girl.
"Of course." I gave him a reassuring smile, to which he kisses the top of Emerson's head and then mine.
"I'm really happy you're back Bri."
"Me too Lou, me too."
**********************************************************************************
The restaurant was busy and by busy I mean swarmed. I don't think I have used the bathroom in well over 8 hours. Scratch that 9.
Louis being the great friend he is offered to pick of Emmy from school, so at least that is one more thing to help me get through the day.
I had already broken four plates, two glasses, and a microwave. The last one I didn't even think was possible.
Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse an elderly women tripped walking out to her car on the path that led to the parking lot. I ran out in a hurry, concern written all over my face.
I bent over to help her up but before I could a young man knelt down in front of her offering his arm, his voice sounded so familiar, but I was too focused on making sure that she would be alright to place it.
"Oh both of you don't need to fuss over me. I've done much worse!" The kind women smiled at me, when I was sure she really was fine I met the eyes of the kind stranger who had stopped to help.
I had met those eyes before. I fell in love with those eyes before. I still am in love with them.
"Briar?" his raspy voice sounded like music to my ears.
"Harry." I whispered.