Love for You

Jo had attended the ten sessions her psychiatrist suggested her to visit. Each session, she opened up more to Dr. Francis. She revealed her memories--the good and the bad--one by one. She opened up about her broken relationship with her brother and how she relied on her sister's support for most of her life. Dr. Francis pointed out how she had been smiling the whole time during one of their sessions as she recalled the first time she ever met James. Then there were the tears Jo let out when she talked about her fights with James then getting back together and getting married. With a broken heart, she admitted about not wanting to have a child just yet and that when Jackson was born, she wasn't sure whether she could be a mother to him.

Ten sessions later and a couple of pills popped, Jo was able to manage her anxiety. Each day, she started to feel more like herself again. James had gone back to Nashville to finish the rest of the season with her in mind as always. The Predators didn't make it to playoffs and James was OK with it. That only meant that he would have more time to spend with his wife and son.

He had spent many of his off days and down time reading books about postpartum depression and anxiety, trying his damn hardest to understand what the hell he was reading. It was one of the ways he thought he could help Jo more on her road to recovery. Whenever he and Jo would talk on the phone, he was able to make sense of the things she was telling him and he was able to reply back with an appropriate response which Jo really appreciated.

Jo and Jackson had moved back to Nashville that summer. Her best friend Edith had taken care of business while she was sorting things out with herself and her family. Truthfully, Jo wasn't sure if she could ever get herself back into working. She just didn't have the drive like she used to. She had traded in most of her designer clothes for sweatpants and t-shirts that she had found in the back of her closet in her parent's home. She hadn't read or picked up a fashion magazine to keep up with the latest trends. Her inbox was full of interested potential partners but she left them unread.

She wanted time for herself and her son. After all that she's been through, she owed it to her baby to make time for him and love him like a true mother should.

-

"Hi baby, are you hungry?" Jo cooed in Jackson's ear as she picked him up from his crib. He had just woken up from his nap in the middle of the day and she was sure that he was hungry. She grabbed his orange colored bottle and handed it to him. He happily grasped the bottle with his tiny hands and drank away. He was getting so chubby, Jo didn't know if it was her doing or if James was feeding his extra bottles of milk when she wasn't looking. Either way, she loved poking his pudgy stomach and his cute rosy cheeks. He looked more like James everyday--another reason for her to smile.

James entered the nursery with a baby towel thrown over his shoulder. His hair was a mess as per usual and he walked into the room barefoot and all.

"Is he done?" He asked. He was a little too excited about bringing Jackson out to the pool and have his little feet touch the water.

"He just started drinking, babe." Jo said.

James shoulders slumped a bit. "I thought he was ready. The sun is about to go down."

"Maybe you two could go for a night swim," she suggested.

"That's no fun. That's why they called it 'fun in the sun', Jo."

She rolled her eyes and took the bottle out of Jackson's hands when she saw that it was almost empty. "I think that's enough, don't you think baby? You're getting so chubby. It gives me a reason to give you lots of hugs and kisses even more."

"Alright, alright, that's enough. You're gonna suffocate my boy." James joked, wrapping an arm around Jo.

She looked up at him, "It just feels good to be able to say that and mean it."

He grabbed the side of her head and pulled it in for a kiss. He inhaled the sweet smell of her shampoo--one that she had bought from the hair salon after her stylist convinced her that it would change her life. "Jackson could feel it. I think he knows that his mom is back."

"I want him to know that his mommy never left," she stared at Jackson who wiggled in her arms. "It feels like I've missed the first year of his life. Some welcoming committee I am huh?"

"You're a great mom to our baby, Jo. Don't ever doubt yourself. I'm so proud to call you my partner for life, my wife."

"You're a poet now?" She joked, nudging him on his side.

"I love you." He said in a sing song voice.

"I love you too." She said in return.

-

Later that night, Jo looked at herself in the mirror and tried to see what it is about her that could look appealing to James. She picked up her hairbrush and ran it through her freshly curled hair to loosen up the curls. She rubbed her lips together to spread the lip gloss evenly. She took a step back and examined what she was wearing. She turned to her side twice to make sure she was making the right outfit choice. She decided on an off white silk slip that had lace on its v-neckline. It fell just right about mid thigh, showing off her well moisturized legs. She hugged her midriff, still feeling insecure about leaving the comfort of the bathroom. What would James think of her? Would he like it? Would he be too afraid to touch her?

She bit her lip and took a deep breath. He's your husband for crying out loud! She thought.

She stepped out of the bathroom and saw James sitting patiently on their bed with his phone in his hand. The light from the bathroom lit up the room even more making James look in her direction.

His jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he saw her in the slip. It looked expensive and he figured that she had gotten it from one of her trips somewhere out there in the world after traveling for a fashion show. She looked like an absolute angel to him with her hair bouncing with ever step she took towards him.

She stood on her side of the bed and waited for him to say something.

"Do you like it?" She asked.

James swallowed and offered a hand for her to join him in bed. "You look absolutely beautiful, Jo."

"Do you mean that?" She pressed her lips together again, kneeling down on the bed next to James and took his phone right out of his hands. She didn't know why she asked. Maybe she was still trying to reassure herself that she could be wanted by someone again after what she has been through the past couple of months.

"Always." He replied before leaning up to kiss her.

She threw his phone somewhere behind her, not caring where it landed. They both heard the thud but neither of them care to see if it had possibly been broken. They didn't care. All that mattered was what was right in front of them. She grabbed his face and intensified their kiss. She savored the taste of him, missing how it felt to be loved by him. He slowly pressed her down on the bed, not once parting from her lips. As she laid underneath him, she broke their kiss for just a second and pulled down the straps of her slip.

"Are you sure?" James asked before they went further and Jo nodded in return.

James continued to pull down the rest of her slip for her. His eyes never left hers, looking at her knowing that there was no other woman for him but her. Jo bit her lip and tugged at the end of his shirt. He got message and whipped it off. While he was at it, he removed his shorts and heard the sharp breath she took.

"I love you." He said one more time before pulling down her last piece of clothing. The pink stripped panties were thrown along with the rest of his clothes somewhere in the room. He brushed the hair off of her face and whispered against her lips, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Plus Jackson," she whispered back with a laugh. He smiled and added, "Plus Jackson."

James kissed her, momentarily distracting her before he entered her. She gasped against his lips, clinging on to his back as he slowly worked his way in. He waited a minute to let her adjust since it had been almost a year since their last intimate moment.

"I'm OK," she breathed out. "Keep going."

Nodding, he rocked back and forth and gradually picked up the pace that was comfortable for her. Their closeness felt familiar yet so new. It was almost like experiencing their first time together all over again. There was that special spark that they both felt and it nearly brought tears to Jo's eyes.

James looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and she bit her lip again as he pushed.

"Don't stop," she encouraged. "Please don't stop."

"I won't, baby." He managed to say in between breaths.

She was close and he could feel it. He picked up the pace a bit more and felt her let go of his back. Her arms laid by her said with her fists gripping the sheets beneath them.

"Oh God, James," she moaned. "I'm so close."

"Me too." He said.

With one final push, they let go together. James groaned out loud and Jo giggled, putting a hand over his mouth.

"You're going to wake up the baby." She reasoned.

He laughed, "Sorry. I couldn't help it."

He climbed off of her and rolled over. They laid in bed, not saying a word to each other, listening to their breaths slowly even out.

"That was..." James started.

"Love." Jo finished. "That was love and I felt it."

James rolled to his side and kissed the edge of her lips. "I love you forever, Jo. That's what I promised you and I'm going to give you forever."