Show Me How to Love

Grey isn’t sure when he remembers about love, he isn’t even sure when he fell in love with Gilliam. He knows he had to be taught about it, he remembers a kind soul who used to take care of him way before Gilliam ever did. He remembers her wide smile even if they were trapped in the dark train; he thought of it as the sun if he knew what the sun looked like, he thought that would be the sun. He remembers the glares she would give to protect Grey; he remembers her soft words and soft hands. He remembers her a lot, he remembers Sofia even if everyone chooses to forget. If Grey could only remembered how she saved Grey from Curtis and his gang of teenagers, Sofia the same age as Curtis hid Grey. She found him one day crying letting out soft wails, she saw no mother and protected him the best way she could. She hid him in the shadows and she hid him in blankets, she was hungry beyond hungry but she couldn’t bare think of killing an innocent child.

“What you got there?” Curtis asked looking down at Sofia; he towered over her as she was only a mere five foot tall, she glanced up at him with a hard look.

“None of yah business.” She hissed at him, keeping Grey hidden deep within her chest, as she kept the infant warm between her breasts.

“Come on Sofia let me see.” He said daze with hunger as she kept on glaring at him. “What are you hiding you acting like you got some food stash in them tits.”

“Fuck off Curtis.” She growled over to him trying to find her way into her bunk but he grabbed at her arm tightly as she let out a whine.

“Show me.”

“No!” She shouted back at him as she felt all the eyes on them. “Let me go! I said no!” She was screaming on the top of her lungs because if all she had was her voice then so be it, someone had to help her, someone.

“Alright, fuck.” He said after a while of her struggling and Curtis saw the terror on her face, her breath laboring and she looked paler than before. He wondered what she would have done if he pulled her in closer but he let her go as she ran off with tears running down her face.

Curtis got pushed by his group of teenagers egging him on about Sofia and the things they would like to do with her but they had better things on their mind after a Curtis from the boy. They were on the lookout for food, for children. It wasn’t until two weeks or so later the Edgar thing happened, Sofia watched with her own eyes. She held onto Grey even more as she watched them killing that woman with ease.

“Fucking hell.” She whispered as she looked down at Grey the boy sleeping after nursing from another woman down a few bunks, hiding her own child from these monsters. “I will never let them hurt you Grey.”

She named him Grey because to her she reminded him of SpongeBob the cute soft spoken snail, she reminded him of the shadows where she hid him, and deep down inside she knew her father would be proud a Grey himself that she named the young boy after him. She watched Gilliam walk forward and saw a change a shift into the world of the train.

“If you’re hungry eat this.” Gilliam said everyone knew Gilliam because he most certainly was the war veteran of the train so everyone respected Gilliam but this shift made him a leader.

The months went along and Grey the tiny little baby stood small but Sofia was allowed to show him to the world, he smiled brightly to her as she smiled brightly back. She knew Curtis was watching her but she always ignored him, as he was stuck with Edgar. She wanted to help out so badly especially with pampers or when Edgar would cry all night but she needed Curtis to take care of his mistake, his flaws.

“Who is this handsome little man?” Tanya asked one day sitting next to Sofia with a smile, as Sofia smiled back over to her.

“His name is Grey and he is adorable eh? Going to be a heart breaker.” She said poking his nose as he smiled before moving his mouth as he was let out those baby yelps but he never did, or does.

“Is he always so quiet?”

“It’s a blessing.” Sofia said over to Tanya quickly as she was defending him. “If he was loud than he would have died, and I think Grey has been blessed.” Tanya looked over to Sofia with a sad smile.

“It’s okay….some babies are born differently your child is-“Sofia shook her head quickly letting her hair fly about over to her.

“No, no, no grey isn’t really mine-just I’m taking care of him. I found him he was so soft with these muffled wails but his tears flowing down his face. I just- I just had to protect him.” She said softly looking down at the boy and Tanya saw the love for the newborn.

“You’re so young…aren’t you Curtis’s age?” She asked popping her hip causing Sofia to let out an infectious laugh causing Tanya to giggle with her.

“Yes, you’re not that much older Tanya sheesh.” She said softly playing with the baby as he smiled up over to her.

“I’m older than you and trust me honey at your age I wouldn’t have want a baby.” She said as Sofia sighed gently looking down at Grey as he put her fingers in her mouth and chewed softly making her smile.

“Yeah if this was out there I would say the same thing but it’s different in here…we’re just all trying to survive and honestly how could this cutie do it if he didn’t have someone.” She smiled down warmly to Grey as he stared up back at her and she knew she fell in love with him.

Curtis watched in awe watching this girl, young woman taking care of a baby that she hid from him; he watched how she wasn’t selfish that his stomach turned thinking about it. Sofia was everything Curtis was not; he was a coward and a low life. He was forced to take care of Edgar after he killed his mother and Sofia willingly put herself in danger to protect someone she didn’t know, she was hungry and cold just like Curtis and yet she was stronger than him. Stronger than all of them.

~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As time went by Gilliam has made it his focus to be in Grey’s lift much to Sofia’s dismay, she didn’t think Grey needed a male opinion or view in life. She was raised by her mother and so was her brother so she didn’t think anything was wrong with him. She winced at the memory of her family before blocking them out again watching Grey grew older with a smile on her face.

“You’ve done great with Grey.” She heard Curtis say as she glared over to him before walking away. “Wait I just-“

“What do you want.” She snapped at him she won’t forget like everyone else because she couldn’t forget like everyone else.

“I just- I wanted to compliment you.” He said softly. “Grey’s a great kid you know….Edgar likes him a lot you know..”

“Good for Edgar I’m glad he does.” She nodded her head over to Curtis barely paying attention to Grey of Edgar watching them interact.

Edgar had asked why Sofia hated Curtis but he ignored the young boys question and Grey had asked too, many nights cuddled in Sofia’s arm for warmth. He wanted to know why she hated him and if he should hate him too. She would giggle pushing his hair back giving him soft kisses telling him to never worry about adult business then he chose to remind her she’s only twenty five and she rolled her eyes.

“What do you know about age Grey? You’re only nine years old.” She tugged at his ears as he made a face. “Don’t like that huh?” He made a face again as she laughed tugging at his ears more.

Sofia would try to make his birthday important even though she didn’t really know his date of birth but it’s easier to do something every time the year has passed. When Grey and Edgar turned nine she made a ball for them, so they could kick it around which only made them break it. Grey hide it for weeks the deflated ball worried that he would make Sofia sad but she just grew worried about Grey and his lost ball.

She had grown furious thinking that an adult stole it watching the boys hush around her, she had asked over and over again. Grey kept quiet like usual but Edgar would ramble on about nonsense, and it would drive her crazy.

“…So we’re adults yeah?”

“Stay young kiddo.” She pat Edgar’s head listening to the last bit of the conversation as Grey smirked over to her. “Where is your care giver?”

“Who? Curtis? He was with Gilliam before-“

“Okay thank you bud.” She pat Edgar head with a sweet smile before walking off as Grey looked at her with questioning looks on his face. Sofia gave him a smile before charging her way over to Curtis. She knew she couldn’t really do anything in front of Gilliam but she knew she could call Curtis aside to give him a new asshole.

Tanya had waved to her with a wide smile as she smiled back over to Tanya, her lover Steven next to her. Sofia smiled back warmly, she loved being around Tanya and Steve. They reminded her bit of home as they would sometimes chat and talk to each other like it was the normal days. Sometimes they would linger around Sofia’s bunk when Grey was smaller and speak to the young mother as she bounced Grey on her knee. Tanya also helped Sofia out a lot with Grey once they’ve warmed up together seeing how Sofia was so young and Tanya was the mother hen of the group. She tried her best to even take Grey on most days to let Sofia rest but she was having none of it, so she was there has a helping hand. She helped with Curtis more often than Sofia but Sofia chose to ignore that.

“Where you going?” Tanya asked as Sofia just sent her a sunny smile as they called it in the tail section before the scowl was back on her face.

She forced her way past Gilliam’s bodyguard with a grunt looking at him with fire in her eyes. He stared down at her as she glared back up at him, if anyone was to look at Sofia they would think she was a child. She wasn’t tall for her age just barely beating Grey and Edgar height. Also hidden under the mass of clothing her body was shielded from the likes of perverted minds and thought processes of the men there. Most of them minus Curtis seem to forget she’s even older than half of them and think of her as Grey’s sister rather than Grey’s mother.

“I need to speak to Curtis.” She snapped over to him as he raised a perked eyebrow. “Now.”

“He’s with Gilliam and he can’t speak with-“

“I don’t give a fuck about this move outta my way.” As she went to charge on through Curtis had come out from Gilliam’s room and looked down at her.

“What’s wrong Sofia?” He asked the woman with smooth bronzed skin naturally darker than most of the men and woman there and her big wide russet eyes harden with a glare over to Curtis. Her lips in a pout an angry pout Curtis tends to call it or he thinks to himself, her lips are so full naturally a soft mauve color on the upper lip with a soft pink on the bottom. He wondered to himself what she looked like outside of the train, he wondered many nights especially when he was younger, when he first saw her on the train.

Sofia didn’t look like anyone else, she didn’t even look like she belonged in the tail section, and she was covered in a pea coat and some tight jeans with boots reaching close to her knees. Her hair dark brown as dark as the soil they will never see again hair so thick and wavy, full and luscious highlighted reminding Curtis of the beach. His hairs lighten when he stood out in the sun and her soft waves reminded him of the summer time. Sofia looked like she cared she was being on a train and she actually complained about her ticket being wrong, she said her mother got her middle class, that this tail section was horrible living conditions and the people who were here didn’t deserve this. She looked middle class; Curtis remembered being bitter and almost laughing at the idea. A middle class girl in a lower class section, as she complained and tried to fight for the people rights on the train, she said she wanted to speak to the owner but was pushed a side quickly. She grew angry and said when her mother finds out this happened hell will be paid, almost everyone in the tail section disliked Sofia. She wasn’t like them, she packed a bag, she had make up on, painted red lips, and mascara on her eyelashes to remind them she wasn’t there to live in this section.

“…Have you been listening to me?” She said over to him tapping her foot, Curtis looked over to Sofia and saw her face wasn’t as full if anything was skinnier than he’s ever seen it, her beach hair wasn’t so soft and full but oily and wild and her lips weren’t painted in red. They were in their natural hues, and her once gentle warm eyes were dark as the coal in a fire pit. She was still stunning in his eyes but he wondered what if the world didn’t turn to shit.

“What?”

“Ugh you’re fucking impossible.” She grabbed his wrist pulling him along towards the back of the train away from everyone, away from Gilliam’s wandering eye and away from the train. Gilliam had pulled them aside to remind them they needed peace and Sofia had to get over Curtis past.

Sofia wondered how she could ever get over Curtis past when Grey was still alive.

“Did you trade in the ball I made for Grey…and Edgar?” She said almost as an afterthought because really it was Grey’s gift if Curtis couldn’t fucking make a gift for Edgar then so be it. “Because that was really fucking rude and I worked my ass off-“

“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked as she glared at him with her arms a crossed her chest as he stared at her.

“The ball Curtis it is nowhere to be found and I know there is whispers about a revolution which I am down for but you don’t snatch items like that from children that is just…cruel.” She said softly all of the anger deflated like a balloon flying into the sky.

“I…I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said watching Sofia look up at him and a new flame of anger boiled in her.

“You’re scum you know that I just-“ she let out a frustrated scream as she started to push Curtis as he let her, and she kept going until he wrapped his arms around her picking her up easily and moving his lips on hers.

It was shocking and quick but almost a breath of fresh air.

Grey followed Sofia hiding in the roof pipes, he watched as she screamed a Curtis with anger he’s never seen. He’s never seen Sofia angry at all, she always smiles over to Grey and Edgar, she might give a hard look over to Curtis but it’s never pure anger like he heard now. The scream of frustration was almost enough to make him slide out and pull Sofia away from Curtis. He was about to move until he saw Curtis bring her into a kiss as Grey watched with wide eyes. He wasn’t sure what to do, being a child climbing into the roof and going past people bunks he’s seen people kiss, or do more but never Sofia. He watched as Curtis pulled everything off of her and she pawed off his clothes. He saw her body thin for wear but curvy where needed. He often wondered what most people looked like under his clothes, Grey didn’t mind being naked because sharing close quarters was enough to put away the shame but Sofia and most adults hid their bodies. He watched has Curtis large hands cradled her ribs that were alarmingly showing through her skin. He watched the nobs of her back showing off as Curtis thin but lean body pushed into Sofia’s.

Her thin arms bare from clothing for Grey to see wrapped around Curtis neck as he pushed into her with grunt, Grey wasn’t stupid, he knew they weren’t play fighting like that one time Edgar and Grey walked in on a couple having sex. Edgar had asked Curtis about and Grey and Edgar were thrown in a room with a few other teenaged boys talking about sex. Grey knew this is what they were doing as Curtis pushed into Sofia and she let out soft “Ah, Ah, Ah’s” Her nails digging into Curtis back making him hiss loudly pushing in harder.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Curtis grunted making Grey narrow his eyes, he didn’t like Curtis with Sofia.
Sofia was his and here Curtis was doing this. Sofia hated Curtis; Grey could feel it he knew from the way she reacted from him and the way she reacted towards Grey. It wasn’t love, not that Grey knew what love was. He thought maybe what Sofia had for him was love but this he didn’t like it. He watched as Sofia cling to Curtis has his hands engulfed her waist holding her close, his hands touched each other. Grey didn’t like Curtis who was stronger and bigger than Grey; was on Sofia, he didn’t like how Sofia so tiny and soft was being handled.

Curtis let out a low groan as Sofia let out a soft whine as they leaned on a wall, Grey could only see Curtis back and he watched as Sofia feet touched the ground. He could feel the shift in the air as the tension was back but in ten folds. He waited for one of them to say something but all he saw was Curtis moving away from Sofia as she walked out flushed in the face and mix of a sour but relaxed look on her face. Grey didn’t know what to make of it but he hated it.

Sofia went back to her bunk as Grey followed as she slid in with furrowed eyebrows; grey watched her expression soften as she slipped into deep thought. He’s watched Sofia more than he’s watched anyone else; she’s always in thought once she thinks people aren’t paying attention to her. Her eyes get almost dull and glazed over and she stares off into wonderment. Grey watches Sofia because she was his mother,she was his friend and his care giver but he watches her because he also thinks she’s beautiful like he thinks Gilliam is beautiful. He slipped down softly handling the bars with one hand and stood in front of Sofia and instantly she was back to Grey.

“Hey Grey boy” She went to tug at his ears but he rolled being faster than her and an instinct he shoved his face in her chest and rubbed his body all over her causing her to giggle loudly and in shock. “What has gotten into you?”

He could smell Curtis on her and he hated it.

“Grey.” She said as he kept rubbing his scent all over her because Sofia is Grey and Grey is Sofia. They smell of each other, they share each other clothing and she takes care of Grey. Sofia’s is Grey’s and Curtis can’t have it. He simply can’t. He has Gilliam, Edgar and now Sofia and it makes Grey angry. “Hey Grey what’s up?” She asked in a soft voice as Grey broke down and cried she wrapped her arms around him and he just cried in his chest. “What’s wrong love?”

Grey loved Sofia why couldn’t she see it?

Grey as to say Sofia was his he would cling to her even more at night, to smother her in Grey. She didn’t mind as she woke up laughing hugging him close to her, Grey wondered if she would tell him what happened with Curtis but he had a feeling she wouldn’t. Grey gave her a look as Sofia furrowed her eyebrows over to him.

“What’s wrong Grey?” She asked in a soft voice pushing his hair down as he pursed his lips at her. “Maybe we should cut it no?”

He made a face and banged his hand on the bunk loudly as to say no but the person below them banged and cursed at them causing Sofia to giggle and Grey to glare. She quickly pulled him into her lap always making sure Grey knew he was the baby. He wasn’t a baby he really wasn’t and he didn’t want to be treated like one but her soft hand played with his hair and he felt relaxed. Curtis couldn’t have her because Sofia was his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grey went off as Sofia started teaching more of the other children different things, as Grey went to Gilliam’s. Gilliam had a soft spot for Grey and Grey knew it. He quickly huddled seeing Gilliam reading in a book of his before looking up to see Grey.

“Hello Grey.” Grey nodded his head making his way in. “You’ve grown.” Grey puffed out his chest as his proud and shining moment. “How would you like to train?”

Grey moved around like if he was fighting to Gilliam causing Gilliam to laugh nodding his head, because Grey was a special boy.

“Yes, Grey fighting. We’ll teach you the best way we can.”

Grey and Edgar been dying to be trained but always pushed aside but seeing how he’ll be thirteen soon (as Sofia tells him, he needs to start being more adult.) Sofia always downplays the training of skated by it because Grey was her baby but with Edgar always talking about it. It was enough to pump of Grey as they wrestled all the time. Grey a few less pounds than Edgar but faster, and he was light on his feet. Sofia just gave them disapproving looks before running off. Grey had to get strong because Sofia was getting smaller; he noticed just by the way she traded clothes more often than not. How Grey can wrap his arms around Sofia completely and he could feel her bones. Sometimes he smells Curtis too but it’s rare, but it happens. Even in the heated glares she gives at him Grey wondered if she was confusing her hate for him. He had to protect Sofia and if Gilliam ready to train him then why not.

“Grey.” Sofia said in a soft voice and a slight cough, as she ignored the looks from Gilliam and stared at Grey. “What are you doing I thought we talked about this.”

Grey quickly went on a long rant with his hands over to Sofia as she watched his hands go off in a story and Gilliam watched them both completely fascinated by it. She let out a sigh looking over at Gilliam before looking back at Grey.

“Grey I still think you’re too young for this…you’re just a child a baby my baby I just-“

“Sofia we need to horde all the weapons we can.” Gilliam said watching over Grey as Grey puffed out his chest again making Sofia eyes widen before glaring over to Gilliam.

“He is not a weapon.” She hissed covering Grey ears as he was taller than her he just pulled away making her glare at him. “He’s a fucking boy a human being and I-I-I-“She started coughing harshly making Grey turn to stare at her completely with filled of worry and fierce protectiveness he’s never shown to anyone else really. “I’m fine Grey just not wrapped up properly.” She stated as she waved him off. “I’m not done with this.” She pointed to Gilliam. “But I’m exhausted so I’m going to lie down.”

Grey helped her walked back to the bunk and as soon as she was in her bed she fell asleep quickly, it was weird to Grey. Sofia has been sleeping a lot lately and barely eats, actually gives Grey her protein bars even if he gives her a worried look. She just says he’s a growing boy and he needs to eat, he could tell its bull but he doesn’t say anything. He watches over Sofia as the years went by and he knows over the years she’s gotten weaker and tired. Gilliam offered to watch Grey but Sofia said Grey can make up his own mind as a way to sway Grey away from Gilliam but Grey the stubborn person that he is went with Gilliam. He went send looks to Sofia as in I love you but I know what I want she’d sigh and just go back to sleep.

Grey one time came back to the bunk to see Sofia was missing; they don’t really share the bunk anymore since he’s too big and she’s much too little but he knows at nights she needs him. She shivers so much even during the day he’s scared to leave her alone. He was confused until he climbed into the roof and started to walk along the train. He walk past bunks to see that everything is a little different sees Andrew and Timmy being little and being raised by their parents. He kept walking almost all the way in the back and heard Sofia talking to Curtis heated whispers.

“I heard you were giving Gilliam a hard time.” He said as Sofia sucked her teeth leaning on the wall, Grey watched them from afar.

Sofia didn’t look good, she looked pale and fragile she was so thin and small. She looked even worse standing next to Curtis who seem to grow over time, he watched Sofia with worried eyes. Grey never saw Curtis other than angry or filled with sorrow sometimes looking at Edgar so this was different.

“I don’t think it’s wise to have Grey with Gilliam all the time, it’s not healthy it’s not right Curtis.”

“A young man needs a man in his life, it’ll do more good for Grey than harm.” He said looking at Sofia. “He’s gotta be ready for the revolution.” He said as Sofia sighed.

“We barely survived the last one, half of us died.”

“Yeah, I know but this one will be different.” Curtis said softly looking over at Sofia as she held her eyes closed.

“Grey got a taste for blood there….I don’t think Grey will ever be my baby Grey anymore.” She said softly as Curtis laughed before stopping seeing her glare.

“He’s a man now.”

“He’s a fucking child still, he’s barely fifteen. Don’t you remember being that age? Shit I remember dying my hair black and wearing heavy eyeliner. I thought goth was going to come back, this isn’t for Grey.”
“This is our life now, he’s a train baby it’s different.”

“Fuck being a train baby!” She shouted back at Curtis. “He deserves a normal life like everyone else, he should had a home a fucking home Curtis. He should have sisters and brothers he could have something more than this, more than him waiting Gilliam. I can see it Curtis I’m not fucking stupid. He looks at Gilliam like he’s in love with him and I don’t give a fuck if he’s gay but I care that he’s not dating someone close to his age. Gilliam could be his grandfather for Christ sakes.”

“That’s not your choice to make, life is different on here.” He said as Sofia let out a scream at Curtis as if she was tired of hearing that.

“I thought we would be off this fucking train by now!” She let out a violent scream as Curtis stared at her. “I…I could have taken care of Grey out of this train, it would have been hard but it would have been better than this.”

“Sofia don’t think-“

“No, Curtis don’t you ever think we could be better than this? You- what you did was so dreadful and wrong and they didn’t care! No one cares! I care! Have you even told Edgar hm? No right? I just- I am tired of living on this train…I wanted Grey to have a normal life. How can I love him so much when he isn’t my child? How could I want so much for him and he isn’t mine, I just need Grey to be okay, I need Grey to understand that all I wanted for him was the best and yet he’s fucking Gilliam and training to be a fucking weapon. Grey is more than a weapon and…Gilliam doesn’t understand that.” She was crying now as Curtis moved over to her cradling her close to him.

Grey knew what was going to happen but as always he watched to be reminded of how much Sofia wasn’t and was his. It was almost like a knife to the heart as Curtis kissed her slowly and gently as if she were to break. He picked her up softly from the floor as she wrapped her arms around him.

“Curtis we can’t- I don’t think I can-“

“I’ll be gentle.”

Grey watched as they followed the same pattern as before but everything was soft and still Sofia looked pained. Grey could see he was struggling and he felt the boil of anger burn in his stomach, he wasn’t taking care of her, he was hurting her. She quickly pushed him away crying how she was in pain and couldn’t handle it. He let her go as she slipped into her clothes, and Grey felt his heart tug seeing how small Sofia has gotten. He watched her disappear over the years and he wonders if this might be her last year to live.

Grey has seen death but he hasn’t experience to someone close to him, someone he could call mother. Grey made the painter drawing paintings of Sofia every year since four years ago, he noticed little things about Sofia that other people didn’t. She barely ate and when she did it was hard to do, her back hurt often and all the time, but he helped as much as he could. Sofia even helped him in his growing pain when his bones hurt and muscles felt like they were melting together. He wanted to protect this Sofia but he wasn’t sure, even when she tried her best to protect him. She fought with Gilliam about Grey being her son and he should ask her about what’s best for Grey, when he started tattoo Grey behind her back and she flipped when she saw sex. She lost her mind when she saw it on his body the next day, Grey hide about four days after that. Making Sofia cry for about three days when he was gone, he didn’t understand her emotions sometime.

She fought with Gilliam often over Grey and called him a pervert which made Gilliam’s eyes shine a bit and his eyebrows rose into his hairline. She shouted in whispers that she knew people like Gilliam and if this was on the outside world she would have murdered him. She claimed Grey was a pretty boy for his time and he should be protected, but Grey just puffed out his chest to show how he was a strong man. She rolled her eyes tugging at his ears to remind him who he really was. So seeing Sofia so weak and exhausted over everything was enough to make Grey worry about her.
When she got to the bunk Grey wrapped his arms and legs around her to bring her warmth and to make his scent remind. She just laughed hugging him back the best she could as she slowly fell asleep on him, Edgar popped his head in with a smile.

“She’s out?”

Grey nodded his head making Edgar to frown a bit; everyone was worried about Sofia minus the people who were thinking of one less mouth to feed. The rude people but they didn’t worry about them, Sofia was still young and she is dying. Grey knew it she was dying slowly but surely and he didn’t know how to save her. He couldn’t fight his way to save her it just is her body shutting down on herself, as Gilliam said one night. He explained to Grey that some people bodies just stop working and that Sofia’s seem to be doing it a bit earlier than most.

“Grey…is she dying?” He asked as Grey looked up to Edgar with furrowed eyebrows holding back the tears. “Everyone is-“Grey grabbed Edgar shirt with furrowed eyebrows as in a way to tell him to shut up. “Tanya said Sofia knew for years she was dying.” Grey eyebrows raised up surprised and he waved his hand as to say go on. “Uh, yeah that she knew she was dying but she thought they’d get off the train sooner or later, she.. hm what is that? Had some sort of cancer? I don’t know which.” He said looking at Grey shyly.

Grey stared down at Sofia before wiggling his way off of her; he quickly threw his jacket on her to keep her warm before pulling Edgar out and pulling him along towards Tanya. He knocked on her bunk four times before staring at her then waved his hand again like go on.

“What is it grey?” She asked softly as she watched Grey grow into the mute who can fight better than most but cared harder than all of them.

“He wants to know about Sofia.”

“Damn it Edgar that wasn’t for you to tell.” She shot over to him before looking over at Grey with a soft sad smile. “You have to speak to Sofia.”

Grey shook his head in anger he wanted to know now what was going on but Tanya ignored him and went back to her bunk. Grey grew angry and once again ran off, leaving Edgar to shout out for him before getting scolded for being too late at night. Grey found his way in one of his hiding spots for three days, three whole days. He watched Sofia look around for him but the Curtis brought her back to her bunk. She looked annoyed and angry but Gilliam demand in a soft voice she goes back to her bunk. Even if she’s ill Gilliam said he wants her traveling to be as comfortable as she could. Gilliam insisted to move her closer to him; it’s warmer than most of the other train and it’s safer. Grey saw her soft eyes looking around for him to say she was moving, but he didn’t come out.

“Grey.” She whispered seeing Grey come into her bunk with his head hanging low. “You’re back…I missed you.”

He looked up at her with soft eyes before engulfing her into his body; no matter how many blankets she had Grey was the warmest thing there. She held onto him closely as she cried, grey felt the tears rolling down his neck, he felt her sadness. He didn’t say anything as she patted his hair as a way to say she was sorry, and he was angry. She couldn’t leave him and yet here she was doing just that, he understood death happens, it happens in age, happens from starving and it happens from war. This he doesn’t understand, Sofia who was healthy to keep Grey around was slowly dying.

“You got another tattoo.” She whispered running her finger down his chest feeling the jagged scar reading Gilliam over his chest. “Lovely.” She said in a bittersweet tone as Grey sent her a look. “It truly is.” She moved her hands up to tug at his ears causing her to giggle to see the face.

“I’m glad you have Gilliam.” She said softly hugging Grey close to her. “You’ll have someone to look out for you.”

Grey just rubbed his face in her neck making her smile as she held him close to her, if anyone walked past they would think something different, something darker than their innocent touches. Grey was Sofia’s son and she would hold him as such still seeing him as a baby as her baby rather than the teenager in love with someone twice his age.

“Am I going to be here soon?” She teased as Grey stared down at her. “I think the one who’s cleaned your bottom more than once deserves a body part.” She said softly as Grey raised an eyebrow to her before waving his hand.

“I don’t know what that means Grey.” He slipped his jacket off to show off a Yes making Sofia smile to him. “Ah so I will.”

He flipped it again making her smiled over to him moving to kiss him on the tip of his nose and he smiled over to her. Grey doesn’t smile often, actually barely smiles unless he was a baby as Sofia remembers. His smiles wide but the noises never left his body.

“I’m dying Grey…I know you’re sharp so you’ve seen it for a while…or knew at least something was happening.” She said soft pointing to the painting pictures and seen her face gaunt in them. “I have cancer I always had ovarian cancer even when I got on the train. I had surgery before the whole freezing of the earth, and was told all the cancer went away. Then I came here to this train waiting for my mother and brother but as we can see…didn’t happen. I knew I had it again when I took care of you around one or two…I felt like I was bloated and in pain. I tried to ignore it because I had you.” She said with a smile. “But as we see the body doesn’t care who is around it will fall apart. So here I am falling apart I’m going to die Grey.”

Grey made a face and almost a soft whimper over to her as he rubbed his face again in her neck. She kissed his temple and hushed him as much as she could because Grey in pain was worse than any physical pain she could ever be in. They stood close that night because Grey wouldn’t let go to her not even if Gilliam came by. The rest of the week Grey had asked Gilliam all about ovarian cancer as Gilliam explained as much as he could to Grey. He was a leader not a doctor but he’ll do his best for Grey.

Grey turned sixteen and Sofia barely left her bunk only to get a protein bar and sometimes that was even hard. She’ll gasp, wheeze in pain as she grabs a bar with Grey by her side. They would glare at the guards with Grey fire eyes staring right through them. They watched her slowly disappear, as Grey did his best to take care of her. Grey got his tattoo of Sofia right on his ribs letting the burn hurt him as much as it could. He liked the pain but today he wishes the tattoo artist would hurry up so he can show Sofia.

When Grey went back to the bunk in a hurry to show off his tattoo he pushed open the bunk and saw Sofia eyes closed looking pale. He furrowed his eyebrows as he touched her and he knew he lost his mother, his care giver causing him to clench at his jaw. It was the first time Grey ever groaned out in anguish showing a sign of how his voice could sound.

Grey stood over her body for days until he was forced away from it once the guards figured out the smell. Grey wanted to fight them but he was pulled away by the Curtis and Edgar, Grey saw Curtis sorrowful eyes watching Sofia be pulled out like trash. He always wondered if she was truly supposed to be in middle class or not as he watched her be taken away. He knew if she was, she would have been taken care of rather than wasted away in the back like she was a forgotten soul.

“Grey.” Gilliam said putting his hand on Grey face gathering his attention. “Come on Grey…we’ll mourn Sofia.”

Curtis watched Grey sag in their arms as he walked off with Gilliam easily, and he knew Sofia would say something about Gilliam. Almost off colored but Curtis was glad Grey at least had someone rather than walking this train alone.

Grey remembers how he loved, how he can trust, and fight for others because Sofia was his mother, Sofia was his, and he loved her.