I Don't Want to Be Wasting My Time Alone

"Hurry up, Clifford!" I banged on Michael's hotel room door. "We've got to leave in five minutes."

I walked out into the common area of the boys hotel suite. "He's probably still sleeping, I'll go wake him up." Ashton offered, walking by me and opening Michael's door.

I ran a hand through my curly hair, sighing. I was fighting a hangover straight from the fifth layer of hell, and dealing with Michael being late again was something I could not handle. I had already been called five times asking where we were because the vehicle transporting us to the airport was waiting out in front of the hotel.

"We may have a problem." Ashton returned quickly, "Michael can't find his passport."

The little bit of color that I had gained in my face drained immediately. "What?! Can't find his passport?!" I pushed past him to get to Michael's tornado of a room. "How the fuck do you lose your passport?" I started throwing random black articles of clothing into a pile, searching beneath them all for the small book. "I don't under-"

"I don't fucking know either, Lydia. That's why I've been up for two hours searching."

"Just pack your stuff up and we'll search in the van on the way to the airport." I cursed under my breath as I thought through how much Michael was going to miss overseas if he couldn't find his passport. "Do you know what this means, Michael?" I all but shrieked at the poor boy. "This is going to fuck up everything. I mean we can probably get you on Skype for some interviews but-"

"Like I don't fucking know what this means." He let out a groan as Calum and Luke sat quietly in the back row, Ashton was beside Michael helping him search, and I was in the front seat turned around watching them rummage through the mess.

I took a deep breath as we arrived at the airport, not knowing what was going to happen. I found Josh, their head of tour management, and ran over to him as the boys were escorted to security.

"We may have a problem..." I put my hair up in a ponytail, I was starting to feel hot from being nervous. "Michael can't find his passport."

Josh stared at me for a few moments before he spoke. "And who's fault is that?"

"Not mine! How could this possibly be my fault that he misplaced his own fucking passport?! I don't step foot in their godforsaken hotel rooms. Have you ever smelled one of them?! It's absolutely atrocious."

"It's really not her fault." Michael stepped up from behind me. "The pocket I placed it in in my carry on bag is unzipped, so it's fallen out somewhere. Could have been in a random cab, at one of the airports, anywhere. I can't remember the last time I had it, either." Michael wouldn't make eye contact with either one of us. I walked away while Michael spoke to Josh in a hushed voice, and headed over to Luke, Ashton and Calum.

"Well, I guess it'll just be the three of you guys over in the UK. Idiot number 4 is stuck over here by himself for a while."

Their three faces fell as Calum spoke. "This is going to suck, so much." They all nodded in agreeance.

"LYDIA!" Josh yelled at me as Michael pushed between me to get to his bandmates. I scoffed as I walked away, not knowing why he was mad at me.

"Yeah?"

"You're staying with him."

"What?" I was in disbelief of what he was telling me.

"You're the newest team member, you're the youngest, and I can handle getting them to meetings and all of their shows by myself."

"Excuse me?" I crossed my arms and cocked my hip to the side. "Just because I'm 24 doesn't mean I don't matter to this band."

"Which is why I'm giving you the honor of staying with one of the band members for a week. I'm making arrangements for you guys to go back to the hotel now, I'll get you separate rooms."

"Wow, thanks." I said back, taking a deep sigh and realizing how much of a bitch I was being to Josh. "Sorry, I just-"

He let out a laugh, "I'd be pissed off if I had to stay back, too. It's understandable. It won't be but for a week or so." Josh patted me on the shoulder. "I'll get going, I've emailed you the reservations. I'll let you know as soon as I find out more information. Thanks, kid." I rolled my eyes at his calling me "kid." He was only a few years older than me, and I was definitely not a kid anymore.

I watched from a distance as Michael told all of his bandmates bye and giving them hugs. He walked back to me with his head hung low, and his shoulders slumped over.

"Come on, Clifford. Being stuck with me for a week isn't that bad, is it?"

"You're not my band." He said before we walked out of the airport, him bypassing the fans who were patiently waiting outside of the doors still.

I sat in the backseat with him and watched as he gazed out of the window. "At least we're stuck in NYC, it could be worse."

"Not much." He said, his voice faltering a little bit.

"Sorry, Michael." I patted his knee and he tensed up. "I'll go make an alcohol and pizza run when we get back and get settled if you want me to." I told him, knowing he couldn't leave without security supervision.

He nodded, without saying anything back to me.

---

I knocked on the door to Michael's single hotel room a few times quietly and waited for him to open the door. I heard a sniff and some shuffling before he opened the door. "What?" He was dressed in gym pants and a black hoodie, with the hood up.

"What kind of pizza do you want? I'm about to go out for it now."

I took in his pitiful appearance and felt terribly sorry for him. "Just get me whatever kind you want, pizza is pizza to me."

"Pepperoni is fine with you?" He nodded in response. "Liquor or beer?"

"Both." We both let out a chuckle and he tried handing me money.

"No, I've got it!" I pushed his hands back at him, "I'll be back in an hour. Text me if you need anything else."

He nodded and I made my way to the elevator. Immediately my phone started ringing and I saw it was another team member of management calling me. I thought about ignoring it, not wanting to get an earful, but I decided to answer anyway.

"Yeah?"

"You really have no idea what happened to that poor boy's passport?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, we're working on getting him another one as soon as possible. Thankfully the rest of the band can just perform acoustic, or we can find someone to fill in for Michael. Twitter is blowing up with angry fans and it's just making Michael feel worse, so if you could try to keep him off of his phone so he'll quit beating himself up over it, that would be great."

"I'm en route to pizza and beer right now, so I'm going to try my best. I don't know how good of a job I can do of keeping him off of his phone though." I laughed, "He's the worst at staying on his phone all of the time."

"Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to help. I'm wiring you a little bonus for staying back with him, it really means a lot that you stepped up to the plate and decided to stay back so he won't be buy himself. I'm sure his brooding self appreciates it too, even if he won't admit it."

"Yeah, yeah. Well the elevator is here and I'm about to lose service, so I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks, Lydia!" I thanked him and hung up the phone, shoving my phone into my jacket pocket.

As soon as I walked out of the first sets of doors of the hotel, I heard the fans screaming. This many people already knew our hotel location change? Jesus. There were two familiar security guards standing at the door who helped me push through the crowd, not many people knowing exactly who I was. I heard my name yelled a few times but I just kept my head down as I pushed through, I was thankful they were waiting on Michael and didn't give two shits about me.

I tripped into the nearest pizza place conveniently located next to a liquor store, put my order in and made my way over to the liquor store while they fixed the pizza. I browsed the aisles of glass bottles before picking up a bottle of whiskey, and a bottle of bourbon. Beer would be too hard to carry back to the hotel along with the two pizzas I had ordered, so Michael would have to deal with my two choices.

"Where ya from?" The guy behind the pizza counter asked me when I returned to the shop to pick up my pizzas.

"London, actually." I said, sitting down at the bar stool, watching him throw the dough in the air. I could tell by his accent that he was clearly from the area. I had been over here with 5SOS enough to know where he hailed from.

"What are you doing across the pond?"

"Work." I answered, simply.

"Obviously it's not going too well from the looks of that black bag and you ordering two pizzas for yourself."

"It's for me and someone else, and no, it's not going too well." I let out a chuckle. "But it'll be fine. I'm stuck here for a week and a half because he conveniently lost his passport."

"And he can't stay back by himself?"

"Long story short, no. He can't." I heard a ding and the man flopped the pizza dough onto the flour covered counter. I watched as he walked over to check the oven and boxed up our two pizzas.

"One of them is on me, so it'll be $12 for the large pizza."

"Really, you don't have to do that." I handed the man a $20 and told him to keep the change, and as I walked out I made a mental note of which pizza place this was so I could come back if I had to make another pizza run later this week. My phone buzzed as soon as I walked out and I grumbled as it kept ringing and I was unable to answer it. I was greeted with the screaming fans again, but they were much easier to push through as I made my way back into the hotel.

"Open the fuck up, Michael, I've got pizza." As soon as I finished my sentence, a much happier Michael appeared at the door, taking the pizza from me and setting it down on the small kitchen's counter.

"No beer? What a waste of a trip."

"I got whiskey and bourbon. A 12 pack of beer would have been impossible to carry back, and I knew a 6 pack wouldn't be enough for you." I took the two brown bottles out of the bag and opened the bourbon for myself, and poured a small glass over ice and made my way over to the extra bed in Michael's room that had been left untouched.

I took a sip of my drink as Michael brought me a plate with two slices of pizza on it. "Thanks." I said as I settled myself into sitting with my back against the headboard. "A week of this won't be that bad, will it?" I looked over at Michael who was chugging straight from the bottle of whiskey. "Slow down, Mikey. I'm not here to be your hangover nurse."

"No, but I don't have shit to do tomorrow so I don't have to worry about being hungover." He took another large gulp before taking a bite of his pizza.

I rolled my eyes as I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket again. "Hello?" I answered before looking at the caller ID.

"Everything going okay? I thought I'd get you on a plane change." Fuck, my boyfriend. I had completely forgotten to tell him I was stuck in the US.

"Babe, I'm so sorry." I stood up from the bed and walked away from Michael and the TV to talk to him. "I'm not going to be coming home."

"What happened? Are you guys okay?"

"I'm fine. Michael misplaced his passport and someone had to stay back with him, so I'm staying back with him for the week."

"Then you'll come back over here, right?" His voice was worried, and I was starting to feel worse about the situation, making me take a bigger swig of my drink.

"No, I won't... They've got more to do in the US. We're flying to LA and then back to NYC and a few other places the week after next, so I'll be over here for probably two more weeks."

"Fuck." Was all Colin could say. I could hear him sighing. "I really miss you. This is getting to be really tough."

"I know, I know." I waved to Michael that I was going to step out of the room and he gave me a thumbs up. "I'm really sorry. There's no one else who could stay back with him and-"

"Josh couldn't? Because he's, you know, a guy?"

"We've got separate rooms. And Josh is higher up in rank than me, so I understand him having to go with the majority of the band. I'm really sorry, Colin. I should have called you sooner."

"Yeah, I guess. So what are you guys doing now?" He was hiding the anger in his voice and it was evident through his shaking voice.

"Eating pizza and watching TV... I'm probably going to go to bed early tonight so I'll call you before I go to bed?"

"I'll probably be at work but if I get a minute to answer, I will." I nodded even though he couldn't see me. The distance was slowly tearing Colin and I apart, despite our three year relationship. I had just signed on to be on the 5SOS team, and I was doing what I loved. He was glad I was happy but the two of us almost constantly being separated was making neither of us happy.

"I love you."

"I love you more, Lyd." He said back after waiting a few seconds. I heard him sigh again. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Colin." I hung up the phone and leaned my head against the wall beside the hotel door. My head was already starting to feel heavy from drinking on an empty stomach, but I wasn't going to stop myself anytime soon.