I Don't Want to Be Wasting My Time Alone

"What do you want to do for-- Oh I'm sorry!" Ross opened up my door and woke Michael and I up. He quickly shut it, then knocking on the door. "Are you decent?"

"You literally just woke us up. But yes, we are clothed." I sat up in bed and pushed my stray hairs out of my face. Michael's head remained on the pillow as he let out a huge yawn.

"I was going to go to lunch with Nick, do you two want to come with me or stay in bed all day?" He winked at me and I shot him the bird.

"We'll come with you." Michael answered for me and I looked at him like he grew an extra head.

"Since when do you like him?"

"I've never had a problem with him." Michael shrugged and wiped sleep from his heavy eyes. "What time, Ross?"

"Can you guys be there in an hour?"

"Yeah, that's fine." I plopped back down onto the bed as he left my bedroom door open and exited through the front door.

"I just hope Harry doesn't show up."

"I hope he does." Michael chuckled out, but I could tell it was fake confidence.

"Please be nice to him, I don't think you need to make a scene. Where do the boys think you are?"

"With a friend." Michael's phone was already glued to his hand and I sighed as I stood up to get ready. After I had [url="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=150687149"]dressed myself[/url] and gotten ready, I noticed Michael had changed shirts.

"You brought clothes with you?"

"Yeah."

I grabbed my sunglasses after I shot Michael a look and he shot me a glare back. I didn't know what had gotten into him. We climbed into my car and he stared out the passenger window without saying anything. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Michael. How long have I known you? Something's wrong. You're in one of your moods."

"Just in a bad mood."

"Twenty minutes ago you were excited to go eat with Nick and Ross, and now you're on your period?" I stopped at the stop light and waited to turn right. "Whatever. You didn't have to come."

"Mmm." Was all he said as he continued staring out of the window. Once we arrived, I found a parking spot and made my way inside of the restaurant, not even worrying about if Michael was following close behind me. Once the door shut, I realized he had stayed outside for a minute to smoke a cigarette. I knew he smoked, all of the boys did, but it was only on occasion. And usually when he was in a bad mood he would always smoke.

"Good morning love!" Nick greeted me and gave me a hug. "Where's Michael?"

"Fixing his tampon outside the front door." Everyone, including Harry, let out a quiet chuckle. I gave a quick hug to Harry before I sat down at the round table beside him, leaving an empty chair beside me. Somehow I had a feeling he was part of the reason for Michael's ill mood.

Michael appeared after I ordered a carafe of mimosas for the whole table. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." He said a quick hello to everyone at the table, including Harry.

"Okay, what the fuck is wrong with the two of you? I could cut the tension in here with my dick." Nick spoke up after two champagne glasses of mimosa.

"Nothing's wrong with me, I don't know what I did to piss him off but apparently it's something."

"It's nothing." Michael said as he played with his glass of water. I had never been so annoyed with him as I was right now. Even those times he was late and made me furious, or the times when he and the other three boys would play pranks on me. Nothing made me more mad than people who wouldn't open up to me.

I placed my hand on his thigh and squeezed it under the table to try to get his attention, but he started a conversation with Nick and completely ignored my motion. Harry nudged me from my other side.

"Are you guys really okay? Did something happen?"

I shrugged and took my hand off Michael's thigh, but he quickly grabbed it back and placed it in the same spot. He was so fucking confusing. I turned to face Harry so only he could hear me, letting Michael keep a hold of my hand. "I swear before we left he was completely fine. Now he's acting really strange. Has been ever since we left."

The waitress brought our food out and we ate our meal, making small talk. The bill came and Nick grabbed them all from her before any of us could even offer to pay. My phone started ringing moments later, and I excused myself from the table to go talk outside of the building.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Josh's frantic voice was on the other end of the call.

"At brunch with Nick, Ross, Harry and Michael. Why?"

"We had no idea where Michael was. He wasn't answering anyone's text messages. Did he stay with Harry last night?"

"I'm guessing so..." I trailed the end of my words, not knowing how exactly to answer.

"Good, because he's been avoiding answering anyone all night."

"Well, he's here safe with me, so nothing else to worry about. Did you need anything else or...?"

"No, just couldn't find him. Invite Ross and Nick to the show tonight!"

"I'll see what the pair is up to tonight to see if they want to come." I heard some yells and mumbles on the other end of the phone.

"Ashton and Luke request coffee when you come. We're already at the venue messing around." Josh told me and I checked the time, realizing it was somehow already 1:30. "Trying to figure out who to get to fix the light issue from last night."

"Maybe the light guy..." I suggested, and laughed at my own dumb suggestion. The three guys I was with emerged from restaurant and walked over to me. Michael had grabbed my purse and was standing beside me, handing it to me. I held my arm out to grab it but he went ahead and put it on my shoulder for me. I quietly thanked him with a smile. I knew Ross had probably told Nick about us, and I knew Harry obviously knew about us, but none of them knew we were boyfriend/girlfriend. I let Josh ramble on about what I needed to do differently tonight to keep things running smoothly and I finally got off of the phone with him.

"Well, we should probably start heading that way. Josh is already there and said Luke, Calum and Ashton are too, working out some kinks from last night. So I'm in charge of the straggler." I elbowed Michael and he pulled me into his side. "Josh said you're more than welcome to come to the show tonight, too."

"Liam and I leave in a few hours to go over to LA."

"Oh. Well then, I guess we'll be seeing you later." Michael almost cut Harry off and Ross shot me a strange look. We stood there awkwardly before saying bye to each other, neither Nick or Ross confirmed whether they'd be coming. As soon as the door to my car shut, Michael started talking up a storm. "Who does he think he is? 'Oh, I'm flying to LA today just to go.' 'Oh, I'm British and I wear hats.' 'Oh,-'"

"Babe, calm down." I put my hand back on Michael's thigh and squeezed it. "Did he say something to you?"

"Yeah, he fucking did. He saw me in the room last night and said that's why he tried to make a move on you. To taunt me. To be an asshole." Michael swallowed and looked back out the window.

"Hey. Hey. Look at me." It took him a second but he finally turned his head towards me. "He's not the one who got to fuck me in the closet, is he?"

A small smirk appeared on Michael's face, and it turned into a huge grin. "We don't have to be at the venue until 3, you know..."

---

"Come on, boys!" I found myself banging on the dressing room door yet again. "Josh is going to kill me if you don't hurry the fuck up!" I yelled through the thick metal door. They had decided locking me out would be a fun prank.

Josh came running down the hall with a clipboard and the walkie talkie that was the match to mine. "What's going on?"

"The idiots locked me out. I can't get them to open up."

"Guys. Seriously. You need to be in your spots in two minutes." As if those were the words "open sesame", the door flung open and all four boys ran out and down the hall.

"Sorry." I apologized to Josh and he nodded his head, understanding.

"No worries, it's not your fault." Josh and I walked side by side behind the boys and watched as they took their spots. I walked over to Michael who was standing on the side of the stage by himself.

"Good luck. I'd kiss you if I could." I said as neutral faced as possible so no one would notice.

"I think the blow job before the show was enough." He winked at me and I blushed at his open vulgarness. I rolled my eyes and shoved him on the stage to take his spot before their curtain would collapse. The crowd was already going wild for them, it was hard to hear anything in the arena except the shrills of the girls. I checked the battery on my walkie talkie and called over to Josh that I was going to go watch from the sound booth for a bit and he gave me the thumbs up to head over there. Tonight's crowd seemed to be more into it than last nights, though I'm sure a few of the fans had been there the night before.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked Richard, who was our sound guy, and he shook his head and opened up the door to the booth for me. I sat and watched from my spot for a few songs, smiling to myself at how far the boys had come in just the last year. I looked around at the gigantic sold out arena and almost got a little bit overwhelmed at how many people were singing along and dancing to their songs. All of these people were here for this band. For these four guys. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Nick and Ross standing with me. I waved at them and they both hugged me and joined me in watching. My walkie talkie started to vibrate and I knew it was Josh needing me back up on the stage. I couldn't hear what he said he needed, but I made my way back to the stage anyway.

"Luke's guitar for the song after this is missing. You were in charge of his guitars earlier."

"Yeah, and it was here." I frantically searched for the tuned guitar and I heard the next song end before I had an idea. I ran across the back of the stage as I heard the boys talking on stage, knowing the situation. I rummaged through the guitars that were for Michael and found it, but the runner was nowhere to be found. "Shit." I held the guitar up in the air and Josh saw it from across the stage and motioned for me to run it on stage to Luke. "These boys better love me." I muttered to myself as I walked on stage, interrupting Luke's speech about the crowd they had tonight.

"And here we have our amazing tour manager, Lydia! She's from London. Everyone say hi to her!" Ashton interrupted Luke as we made the guitar switch.

"Sorry, somehow it ended up with Michael's, I could have sworn it was over there with your stuff." Luke hugged me and thanked me again and I waved to everyone in the crowd. Seeing all of those people from center stage made my stomach churn. As I turned around to walk away, Michael had his back to the crowd and I shot a glance at him as I walked by, and he returned the glance by winking at him. I tried to hold myself together but as soon as I was off the stage, I started giggling to myself.

"What was that for?" Josh greeted me. Apparently he was standing on my side now.

"What?"

"That. That that just happened between you two." He motioned between the stage and me.

"Oh, Michael had moved Luke's guitar to his side as a prank." I came up with the answer quick and made a mental note to text Michael so he would know. He wouldn't get in trouble, obviously. But I would.

"And he told you about it? And you didn't tell me?" I could tell he was suspicious, and he had every right to be.

"Josh, it's fine. It's solved now." I waved him off and he crossed his arms and glared at the stage.

"Come talk to me when the show's over. With Michael." He told me before passing back over to the other side of the stage. Fuck.

"Great show guys!" I entered the open dressing room as the boys were sitting on the couches, trying to wind down after the show. Some friends of theirs were in the room hanging out with them, and I hated to have to pull Michael away, but Josh was pestering me that I needed to go talk to him. "Hey." I tapped on Michael's shoulder and he looked up at me from his seat on the couch. "Josh needs to talk to you. To both of us." I said quietly, and looked around at no one noticing our exchange.

"What about?" Michael questioned, fear plastered all over his face.

"Just about... He saw you wink at me, then he saw me acting like a giddy 4 year old when I walked off stage, and he asked what that was about. So then I-"

"What did you tell him?!"

"I told him that you winked at me because you were the one who put Luke's guitar over there as a prank and you had told me about it. I don't think he believes me."

"But there's no way he could even be suspicious of the two of us..."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know. Let's just go talk to him before he gets even more pissed off."

We excused ourselves from the room and went to the dining hall where Josh had told us to meet him. The staff had already cleaned up from before the show, so it was just an empty room with tables and chairs.

"What's up, boss?!" Michael asked, taking a seat across from Josh. I stayed standing because I felt too nervous to sit.

"Please, sit, Lydia." I pulled the chair out from underneath the table and sat down beside Michael. "So, tell me, what's going on?"

"With...?" Michael questioned.

"You know." Josh said, looking between the two of us.

"I moved Luke's guitar over to mine because I knew-"

"That's bullshit. His guitar got put away with your guitars last night by accident. One of the roadies remembers doing it because the guitar holder in Luke's case is broken. So what was that wink for? That literally everyone in the side stages noticed. I'm sure fans noticed it too."

"His back was to the stage. No fans noticed it." I said before speaking. Then I closed my eyes and covered my face. Josh was sitting with his arms crossed again, not believing my story. "Michael's the cheekiest member of all of them. They all wink and make crude comments at me all of the time and you've never once called a 'meeting' on them before. So what's the deal now?"

I watched as Josh slowly uncrossed his arms and reached into his jacket pocket. Who was he going to call on me? He held his hand in his pocket for a few moments, looking at both of us. Michael shrugged and gave him a look like he was waiting for something to happen. Josh pulled his hand out of his pocket and tossed my torn pair of panties that we had neglected to pick up from the closet.

"Fuck." I said as loudly as I could. "I'm so-"

"Do you think this is okay behavior? He's in the band that you manage. If they didn't have a world tour about to happen, then I would fire you right here, right now. But you're the most efficient member of management that we've got besides myself. Your pay will be cut in half, and I'm suspending the two of you from being around each other. Just the two of you."

"But it wasn't me." Michael said as innocently as possible.

"Oh, really?" Josh seemed honestly interested.

"Yeah, I accidentally walked in on her and Harry making out at the show."

I took a deep breath, and tried to act a bit more normal. "That's really not much better than everyone thinking you and Michael were fucking in a closet. There's rules against this, Lyd. If this gets out at all, even a rumor, you and I could both lose our jobs. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah, I do." I said quietly.

"And I don't appreciate either of you lying to me. Security cameras caught both of you walking out of the closet." Josh slammed his hand down on the table before getting up to walk out of the room. "Bus leaves in 16 minutes." He yelled as he walked out of the room.

We sat in silence for a few minutes staring at the same spot on the wall before Michael decided to speak.

"I'm really sorry."

"There's nothing for either of us to be sorry about, Michael. We got caught. It was both of our stupidity to even think that we could sneak around. We didn't even get through a few days of it."

"Yeah."

"I've got to go make sure everything is gone from your rooms. I'll see you on the buses." I left Michael alone in the room and made my way back to the guys dressing room. When I walked in, it was just Josh, Ashton, Luke and Calum standing in a circle talking quietly. The look Ashton gave me told me everything I needed to know, that Josh had told them what happened.

"I just had to ask them if any of them knew about it." Josh said when he noticed I was in the room.

"What did you honestly expect, Josh?" I felt my temper rise, "You left me alone in a hotel with Michael for a week. He couldn't leave to go anywhere because I knew I couldn't handle the crowd by myself. We were bored, so we fucked. Obviously we both started developing feelings and we've been trying to sneak around since then." The guys were just staring at me, "I'm sorry that I even acted on it, okay? It was really fucking stupid. I shouldn't have done it. But it has not affected one bit of my work since it started, has it? You haven't noticed a change in my 'productivity,' have you? I put my job before anything else."

"Then you shouldn't have done it in the first place."

"I'm sorry, I should have said I put my heart above anything else." They all looked at the door frame as Michael appeared in the doorway. "I'll just stay back in London if that's what would make you happier, Josh. This whole shit show will be over before it even starts."

"Can she at least come on tour with us?" Calum asked.

"Absolutely not." Josh answered immediately, shaking his head.

"What if you fire her right now and she comes on tour as my girlfriend?" Josh was silent. His usual tan skin was a new shade of red that resembled Michael's hair. "We'll talk about this in the morning. Get on the buses." I ran my hands through my hair and sat down on the back of the couch, trying not to cry. I heard the shuffling of feet, and then a pair of arms wrapped around me.

"We'll talk to him, alright? Even if you can't be our manager, we still want you on tour." I felt the tears pouring down my face as Ashton hugged me and tried calming me down. "It'll be alright."

"He's got every right to be mad." I sobbed out, "I am so fucking stupid. I'm staying back. I can't do this."

"You're going to hurt Michael more if you stay back in London and don't come with us."

"I don't care at this point. I don't want to hurt you guys reputation."

"Who gives a fuck about our reputation? You make Michael so happy. Please stay with him. Stay with us. Every single one of us loves you and we don't care that you're dating Michael. It's not affecting your work, and Josh needs to realize that." I nodded and Ashton squeezed me again, "Come on, let's head out." I wiped my face and checked around the room for anything that was left in the venue.

Michael was waiting outside of the door and wrapped his arm around me as we exited the building, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.