Do Not Open

“On a scale of one to ten,” Zack said as he pulled Jordan into his lap, “how would you rate this Christmas? Like, compared to other Christmases and first Christmases with your boyfriends from the past?”

Jordan took a moment to think over the question as he situated himself a little more comfortably in his partner’s lap. It was an odd inquiry, one that he’d never been asked before (by past boyfriends, at least), and it kind of caught him off-guard. He had to actually sit and recall prior years before he could give an honest answer.

“Compared to all other Christmases,” he started once he was sideways across the elder’s lap with his arms wrapped around the bigger man’s neck to ensure that he wouldn’t fall, “I’d probably give this a solid eight. Compared to other Christmases with past boyfriends, I’d say… an eight and a half. Maybe even a nine.”

“Oh, yeah?” Zack asked with a grin. His grip tightened on the slighter man’s waist before he was leaning forward to nuzzle his face against the smooth skin of the younger’s neck.

Jordan hummed his agreement. “I had this one boyfriend a few years ago—his name was Jack—before me and you met whose all-time favorite holiday ever was Christmas. He was super cute about it all through the month of December, like even a few days after he was still feeling the effects or something. The only downside about that Christmas was the fact that he was so excited about it all that he had me getting up at, like, seven just to open presents. He’d been up since six waiting for me to get up, too, so he had coffee ready and everything, which sort of made up for it and all, but still. If I had to rate those two years that I was with him, I’d probably give them nines, too. With all the other guys I’ve been with at this time of year, they cared but didn’t do much to make it special like you and Jack did, so they’d all get sixes and sevens.”

Zack tried to not show his jealousy toward a man he’d never even met (because at least he had Jordan now and Jack, whoever he happened to be, didn’t), but that didn’t stop him from wanting to be better. “What would make this year a nice, even ten for both? The day is still young.”

Another hum, that time of deliberation, filled the air as he leaned his head against the top of his boyfriend’s and truly thought about what would improve the occasion. He wasn’t sure, if he was honest. Really, the only thing that was holding the rating back from being a perfect score was the fact that he was kind of hungry, and he knew that there wasn’t much in the house that would be of interest to him.

Jordan sat up straight in his partner’s hold and smiled down at him sweetly, asking, “Take me out to breakfast?”

“Will that make this day a solid ten?” Zack teased, smiling right on back. When Jordan nodded, he did as well. “Go get dressed a little warmer or something and we can leave.”

The smaller man didn’t hesitate in standing to make his way out of the room, and only moments later, Zack was following behind. The couple got themselves situated in warmer clothes in relative silence, only swapping the rare kiss every now and again. It was when Jordan left the bedroom to start the hunt for his beloved beanie that he saw something he’d missed before.

“There’s another box under the tree,” he called. By the time he’d dropped down to his hands and knees in order to reach it, his boyfriend had entered the room behind him.

“I know,” he said as he leaned himself against the wall. Strong arms crossed casually over his chest as he waited for his partner to notice what the writing on the small package said.

It took a moment (or quite a few) for Jordan to catch sight of the perfectly-scrawled message on the tag attached to the corner, and then he was quirking an eyebrow and turning to read it aloud to the man who’d written it. “Do not open ‘til you’ve got forever to spend with me?” he questioned, looking between the wrapped box in his hands and the man stood across the room.

All Zack did in response to the implied question was give a nod of his head.

“What is it?” Jordan pressed. His hand moved the box up to the side of his head and gave it a gentle shake. There was no sound from the inside, but he had a pretty good feeling as to what it was. A part of him hoped it wasn’t, what with the fact that he and Zack really hadn’t been together all that long, but another part of him knew that someday, he would be ready for such a step… if it was what he thought it was, at least.

“Are you ready to spend forever with me?” the elder countered, and the silence he was given in reply was enough of an answer for the two of them. “Let’s get goin’ before the people in church get out; it’ll be impossible to get a table anywhere once they do. When you’re ready, you can open it. I’m not gonna rush you, and for now, you don’t need to worry about what’s inside it. It’ll be there—or at least somewhere safer in this house—whenever you decide you’re ready to see what it is, alright?”

Jordan gave a nod before replacing the box and standing to his feet. He knew that he should’ve just stopped thinking about it altogether as he moved across the room and reached for his partner’s hand to lace their fingers together, but as he pulled the older man from the house, he couldn’t help but think about it even more.

If it was what he thought it was, why would Zack already have purchased it? They hadn’t even been together for a year. They’d been friends for a while, having met not long after he and Jack had decided to call it quits and move on with their own lives, but there was still so much they didn’t know about each other. Had it originally been for someone else? What if they didn’t work out and the box was never opened? Would Zack just save it and give it to the next person he fell for? What about—

“Beanie, I told you not to worry about it. Just relax and enjoy the rest of the day with me. I didn’t mean to get you so concerned over it,” Zack said when they’d finally pulled into the parking lot of an iHop that seemed fairly empty.

Jordan snapped back into the real world with that. The young man did his best to clear his thoughts before leaning over to kiss his boyfriend, and then he was climbing from the car. In the few seconds they were apart, his thoughts were given the go-ahead to run wild once more.

Breakfast that morning had been… not too awkward, but also not as carefree as they were accustomed to it being. Quite a few times had Jordan drifted off in thought about the box and what it all could’ve meant for him and his partner, only to become more confused than he’d been when he’d first read the tag on the box.

Of course, it didn’t stop after that day. If anything, it all seemed to get worse. Not their relationship, but the slighter man’s overall curiosity. The box would sit on top of the chest in their bedroom, taunting him day in and day out. Zack wouldn’t give any hints, wouldn’t even nod or shake his head at Jordan’s guesses, and it all became so frustrating.

On more than one occasion did he almost open the box just to know if his suspicions were true or not, and the only thing that stopped him from actually going through with anything was the thought of what would happen to them as a couple afterward. He knew that if he opened it, the elder would assume that his answer was a yes. There were scenarios in which he would, of course (maybe Zack had bought a bigger house, one in Florida or California, and inside the box was a key to their new front door), but there was also the chance that it was anything but a key.

December came to an end with the box still sat on the dresser, gathering dust. January, February, and March all flew by in much the same manner. The bigger man never once brought up the box, never answered any questions his partner would hound him with, never went back on his word to give Jordan the time he’d need to decide on whether or not he was ready and willing to spend forever with his boyfriend.

Before long, Jordan stopped wondering about the contents in the wrapped package and instead focused his energy on his relationship. He loved Zack, he knew that much for sure, and he knew that his boyfriend loved him just as much in return. He felt like he’d loved the taller ever since they’d first made eye contact, in fact.

They were good for each other; they were always looking out for the other. They knew what each other wanted, what their inhibitions and goals and dreams were, where they saw themselves being in five, ten, fifteen years. They supported each other, cared for each other when one was sick or feeling down for whatever reason, were willing to give as much room as needed whenever needed. If there was ever such a thing as a perfect couple, they’d come in as a pretty close second.

Was he ready to spend forever with Zack? Was he willing to go through with whatever the box contained, be it key or ring or whatever other object could fit into such a small container for so long?

Of course, the answer to his questions was reached with minimal thought. Part of him felt like he’d known the answer all along but had been scared by the possibilities. Once he realized for himself that Zack was the only one for him, there was nothing holding him back. Still, he waited.

It was later that night, after Zack had gotten out of the shower and decided that he’d rather take his boyfriend out to dinner instead of having either of them cook or clean, when Jordan spoke up about the box. It was just a simple, “I have forever to spend with you now,” but it was still enough to pull a large grin onto the bigger male’s face.

Jordan was brought to the bedroom with their hands clasped between them. The bed was pointed to as a silent instruction for him to sit, and then the box was picked up and carried across the room for the young man to finally open.

Barely shaking hands peeled away the paper slowly, revealing a velvet blacker than the night sky. As soon as the lid was peeled back, Zack was reaching out and pulling the box back into his own grip before he was down on one knee.

“I know you basically already said yes, but I feel like it’s required for me to officially ask you and let you have one more chance at backing out,” he said, grin becoming less pronounced before he was clearing his throat. “Jo, I’ve loved you since day one. I would do anything to make you happy. I want to be the only man in your life who can do that. I want everyone to know that you’re mine and that I’m yours. I know we haven’t been together for that long, but I couldn’t imagine life without you. You’ve made such a major impact on who I am as a person, and I don’t think there’s any way for me to thank you for all that you’ve done for me. You’re just… you’re the one. You’re the only man out there who could complement me as well as you do. You complete me; you make me whole. I don’t wanna live in a world where I can’t wake up next to you every day and know that you’re in it with me for the long run. I want to be able to introduce you as my husband. Will you do me the honor, beanie? Will you make me the happiest man in the world and become Mr. Jordan Merrick?”

Jordan didn’t cry (he really, honestly didn’t) as he nodded his head yes and reached out his left hand for the ring to be slid onto his finger. The weight of the silver band wrapped around the digit made everything feel so… official. It felt like it belonged there.

It was a feeling Jordan didn’t think he’d be able to go a day without, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.