Crooked Heart

Easter Break was less than a week away, and Fiona couldn’t wait to have three entire weeks off. She’d still be working, of course, but nearly all of her friends were staying in the city for the break and it felt like it was going to be a good one. It had been a long time since Fiona had felt the drive to be productive and proactive; she wanted to buy some new books, get out of the flat more, get back on a regular running schedule, and a dozen other things. Her mum and Eli were going to visit in the second week of break, and for the first time, Fiona wasn’t just looking forward to seeing her brother.

Wet hair twisted into a knot atop her head, Fiona padded out of the bathroom with her favourite green towel wrapped tightly around her frame. She could hear Niall ranting to Harry about Greece, and the crackle of bacon as Harry made breakfast.

Keeping things hidden from Niall wasn’t very difficult, considering how busy he was. But it was the mornings that were the worst, because Fiona wanted nothing more than to saunter up to Harry in her towel and press a kiss to his shoulder, let him wrap his arms around her and rest her cheek against his chest. Instead, she had to head straight to her room.

She didn’t get the door shut before Harry’s hand was flying out, smacking against the wood. He had a cup of tea in his other hand, and was smirking in that self-satisfied way he did. “It’s the perfect excuse to come in here,” he said, slipping past her and setting down the cup on the desk.

Fiona made sure the door was properly shut before turning around and finding Harry right in front of her, his hands already sliding around her hips. She wound her arms around his neck, going up on her toes to crash her mouth into his. She hadn’t kissed him in nearly twenty-four hours, and it had been a horrible time indeed.

The only thing keeping her towel on was the fact that her body was pressed up against Harry’s, and the moment her torso shifted it slipped down and revealed her chest. Harry made quick work of the rest, his hands travelling down to squeeze her bum before turning them around and directing her over to the bed.

She pulled him down with her, hooking her legs around his hips and dragging her mouth along his strong jaw. But quite suddenly, Harry groaned low in his throat and tore himself away. He sat back on his heels at the end of the bed, eyeing her warily, and trying to get his breathing in check. Fiona put her knees together and propped herself up on her elbows, one eyebrow raised. Then she saw that his jeans had gotten a little bit tighter in the groin area, and pressed her lips together to fight off a smirk.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

“I really should’ve taken into account that you’d be… nude this quickly.”

“Well, it’s your own fault then.”

“Oi, Harry! Where’d you go, mate?”

Fiona and Harry’s eyes widened simultaneously, and she leapt off the bed and grabbed a jumper off the back of her chair, suddenly grateful for her habit of leaving clothes all over the place. She tugged it over her head, and then a pair of cotton shorts hit her in the chest and she caught them before they could fall. “Really?” she said to Harry, who shrugged and left.

Rather than go out into the flat in what she was wearing, Fiona got properly dressed for the day. She tugged on knickers and a pair of leggings, then put on a bra under her yellow jumper. She took the tea Harry had made for her and sauntered out of the room.

“Woah, Fiona, what’d you do to your hair? Is that a new look you’re going for?” Niall laughed, when she dropped onto the cushion next to him.

Her hand flew to her head, where the bun she’d fixed after coming out of the shower had become a few locks of damp hair tangled at the top of her head, as the rest had fallen down around her shoulders. “Must’ve happened while I was getting dressed,” she muttered, and set down her tea. She raked her fingers through the dark strands, getting rid of any knots, then decided to leave it loose so it would dry faster.

Harry brought over breakfast, and Fiona spied dark green hiding underneath the eggs. He was always trying to sneak in vegetables, and while she didn’t mind, Niall would probably take personal offense.

Before long, she and Niall both had to head to campus. While Niall was getting his stuff from his room, Fiona gave Harry a quick peck on the lips — not wanting to get carried away again — before dashing to her own. She stuffed what she needed for the day into her tote, trying to remember if Liam had given back the book he’d borrowed from her last week since she needed it for class that afternoon. When she didn’t find it, she figured he hadn’t and made a mental note to text him.

“You ready?” Niall asked, swinging open her door and leaning in.

His lack of regard for privacy was definitely going to get her and Harry into trouble one day.

+++

On Friday, Fiona wanted to go out and celebrate the beginning of Easter Break. But she had to work instead, and she was in her room trying to find her black jeans when a knock came at the door. Immediately she knew it was Harry, since Niall wouldn’t bother with courtesy.

“Yeah,” she said, leaning out of her closet for a moment so her voice wouldn’t be muffled by the clothes.

“Hey do you need—” Harry said, striding in. “Oh, you aren’t wearing trousers.”

Fiona glanced over her shoulder. “Observant.”

“Er,” Harry said, running a hand through his hair. “Did you need a lift to work? I’m leaving right now.”

Fiona finally found the jeans she was looking for, and shimmied into them while Harry took a seat on the edge of the bed. Neither of them noticed that the door was ajar until Niall filled it, his gaze immediately going to Fiona’s unzipped jeans.

“Woah!” he exclaimed. “Did I interrupt something?”

“Fuck off,” Fiona snapped, not thinking.

Niall’s face went into utter shock. “Wait… am I interrupting something?”

“No, Jesus Christ,” Harry muttered, getting to his feet.

“But your jeans—”

“They’re on, Niall. I was just doing up the button when Harry knocked.”

“And you let him in anyway?” Niall asked, perplexed. “I knew you guys were getting close, but I thought I was the only one you’d tolerate walking in while you’re changing.”

Fiona scowled at him. “I absolutely do not tolerate it! You don’t even knock!”

“You really should knock, mate,” Harry said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Ready to go, Fee?”

She nodded, following him out of the room. Niall was right behind her, hands on his skinny hips. “There’s something going on here,” he said, looking at both of them intently. “You’re acting weird.”

“Harry always acts weird,” Fiona said.

“Heeeey,” Harry whined, stepping closer to her. Fiona shot him a look and he backed off, hand in his hair again.

Niall was still watching them with narrowed eyes. “Well, whatever it is, I’m gonna figure it out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” Fiona told him, and walked through the door Harry was holding open for her.

They didn’t talk until they were in Harry’s car. Fiona dropped her bag at her feet and drew her knees up, hugging them to her chest and leaning her cheek upon them, looking towards Harry. “He’s going to find out,” Harry said, pulling out from the curb.

“D’you think so?”

“When you stayed over at mine the day before last, what did you tell him?”

“That I was staying over at yours.”

“Seriously?”

“Why would I lie?” Fiona pointed out. “And I spent half the night with Zayn and Cassidy, anyway, since you were at work so late.”

Harry hummed, his hands sliding over the wheel. “‘M sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize,” she replied immediately. “Besides, you more than made up for it.”

She watched as a smirk curved the corner of Harry’s mouth upward, revealing his teeth, along with the dimples she used to hate with a passion. It made her grin too.

Things were going well. Unbelievably well, really, even with all the sneaking around and stolen kisses and touches. Fiona didn’t want to let herself get lulled into a false sense of security though, because it hadn’t even been a month and there was no way that they’d be able to keep going without some kind of hiccup along the way.

But the fact that there was an alertness in her mind, one that didn’t stop her from enjoying what she and Harry had, made Fiona proud of herself. She was keeping her eyes open for the good and the bad, for herself and for him. Allison had even mentioned it at their lunch on Wednesday — that Fiona looked more awake, more there, than she had in months. Fiona mostly thanked Harry for that, but left a little bit of praise for herself, too.

“I just… I think you might be underestimating Niall,” Harry said with a sigh, still uneasy.

“Think you know him better than I do?” Fiona asked. Harry threw a look her way, lips pressed together and brow furrowed, that gave her his answer. “Okay, but think about it like this: Niall’s basically a male version of me. I know how his mind works.”

Harry scoffed. “That’s a bit of a stretch, Fee. He’ll only ever date girls, for example. And he’s not in a bad mood eighty percent of the time.”

“I still know how guys like him think,” Fiona persisted. “Unless he catches us actually doing something he’ll forget about the whole thing by the end of the week.”

There was a pause as Harry parked outside the cinema. “Would you be willing to bet on that?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s in it for me?”

“I was thinking sexual favours,” Harry said seriously. “That way, we both have a good time regardless who wins.”

“That ruins the whole point of a wager! Right, if I win and Niall doesn’t find out, you have to do my laundry for a month. If you win, and he does, then I’ll give you that copy of Catcher in the Rye you like so much.”

His eyes glinted. “You know I only like it cos of all the drawings and notes by fifteen-year-old Fiona Kingsley, right?”

“It’s very special to me,” she nodded. “So that’s how you know how seriously I’m taking this.”

“Deal,” Harry said, sticking his hand out. She shook it, and then he tightened his grip and tugged her forward, catching her lips with his. Fiona hummed against Harry’s mouth, sliding her free hand through his hair. When they pulled away, she bit back a smile and turned to open her door. “Well, at least I know the best way to get you in a good mood.”

“Piss off, you,” she said, climbing out of the car. “But thanks for the lift.”

“See you later, Fee,” Harry said with a grin, and sped off to his own job.

+++

“Hiya,” Allison said, dropping into the seat across from Fiona. It was finally warm enough that they didn’t require jackets, but at just under ten degrees jumpers were still a must. Fiona had rolled up the sleeves of her favourite grey one, and was already snacking on a plate of chips when Allison arrived.

“All right?” Fiona greeted, narrowing her eyes when Allison nicked a chip off her plate, despite having ordered her own.

With Harry around more often than usual, the only time Fiona got to eat unhealthy food was on Wednesdays. It was like her cheat day — aside from the times she and Niall snuck crisps into the flat and ate them in his room. They had to keep them in there, because Fiona was certain Harry checked everywhere else on a regular basis. But Niall’s room was even more of a disaster zone than Fiona’s, so they figured it was safe from Harry, who’d probably faint if he stepped foot in there.

Allison had to get up to grab her order, and they both dug in properly when she sat back down, lapsing into several minutes of silent eating.

“So, you excited to see your mum and Eli?”

The first time she saw Allison after finding out it was her who’d spoken to Frances, Fiona hadn’t had the easiest time expressing her gratitude. But Allison knew anyway, and had accepted the mumbled ‘thank you’ easily and happily.

“Yeah, they’re here like, two days after you leave?” Fiona said, trying to get the dates straight in her head. Allison was going home for the second half of Easter Break — her birthday was the first Saturday after uni started up again, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about it to Fiona just yet. Last year they’d spent it in Allison’s dorm room getting drunk on cheap wine and watching romance films, just the two of them, but Fiona had a feeling her friend might want to do something with other people this year.

“Do you know what you’re gonna do yet?”

“Eli wants to see campus, boring as it is,” Fiona said. “Harry’s recommended a restaurant for us to go to, not too fancy, and good for Eli.”

Allison nodded, putting more vinegar on her chips. Fiona turned her nose away from the potent smell. “You gonna tell them about him?”

“Harry?”

“Yeah.”

“Dunno,” Fiona shrugged. “I guess. We haven’t — me and Harry, I mean — we haven’t really talked about it? It’s still kind of early, I guess, I dunno what we are yet.”

Allison raised her eyebrows. “I’m surprised you guys haven’t had that talk.”

“We’ve had talks, just not that one.”

“Well, the sooner you figure it out the better, I think,” Allison said, an undercurrent to her voice that sparked Fiona’s interest.

“D’you know something I don’t?” she asked.

The caramel-haired girl shrugged, tearing off a piece of fish and dunking it in tartare sauce. “How are things? Y’know, with you and Harry.”

Fiona narrowed her eyes further at the obviousness with which Allison was avoiding her question. “Good.”

“Just good?”

“Bloody brilliant,” Fiona said sarcastically.

“No bumps in the road?”

“We’re fine,” Fiona said. Allison glanced at her and nodded, then went back to her food. “What the hell is up with you?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” Allison replied.

“Oh, you don’t? Come on, Allison.”

The other girl sighed, tossing a chip onto her plate. “I don’t think we should talk about it. I mean, you’ll find out soon enough.”

“Find out what?”

“I said soon enough, yeah? Be patient for once, Jesus.”

Fiona slumped back in her chair, folding her arms over her chest. She’d lost her appetite. “I’m awful at being patient.”

“Yeah,” Allison said. “I know.”

It turned out that Fiona only had to wait an hour, because when she and Allison got back to the flat they found Niall stood with his hands on his hips in front of the television and Zayn, Cassidy, Louis, and Harry sitting around the living room. She looked to Harry first, and he gave a shrug. So he was just as in the dark as she was.

“Have a seat,” Niall said. Fiona and Allison sat on the green couch. “I’ve called you all here today because some developments have come to light in the last twenty four hours that I find very, very disturbing, and I believe an intervention is in order.”

“What the bloody hell are you on about?” Fiona asked.

“Yeah, mate,” Louis chimed in.

Niall looked very grave. “It appears that you two,” he said, pointing at Fiona and then Harry. “are a couple!”

Louis started laughing, but the rest of them were dead silent. Fiona didn’t look at Harry — she was too busy trying to figure out how the hell Niall had put it together. He couldn’t have done it all on his own, she and Harry had practically perfected the art of sneaking around. Unless, that is, Harry had told him so he’d get her old copy of Catcher in the Rye.

Then she did glance at him, but he looked just as shocked as she felt. “How d’you—” he started, blinking at Niall. “Who told— are you mad?”

“Listen,” Niall said, pointing at them. “The only thing weirder than you two dating is if Fiona actually started going out with Liam Payne.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed, falling back against the couch.

“I, for one, am happy for you both,” Cassidy interjected. Harry gave her a wide smile, which only made Niall cry out in indignation.

“This is insane!” he exclaimed. “This just… it can’t happen! Not under my watch!” He turned to Fiona again, looking bewildered and furious all at once. “Ever since you fucked that Oliver bloke you’ve been off the rails, Fiona! Making careless decisions! I mean, sleeping with a thirty year old is bad enough, now you and Harry? You don’t fuck your mates! It’s in the rules!”

“Niall!” she shouted, because even Louis had gone quiet by that point. Nobody else had known about Oliver, and now they all did. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to forgive him for this one.

“Thirty?” Harry echoed in a quiet voice.

Fiona whirled around, her eyes widening. “He wasn’t thirty,” she said quickly. “Fucking Niall was over exaggerating, as usual.”

“Do you even know how old he is?!” Niall asked.

“Shut up, you’re making everything worse,” Fiona snapped at him.

“I think it’s pretty impressive, actually,” Louis said.

Fiona glared at him. “You be quiet too.”

“He’s the one from before, yeah?” Harry asked, still quiet. “From when you and Niall were arguing?”

The last thing she wanted to do was to lie, especially now that Niall had gone and told Harry before she was ready to talk about it. “Yeah, that was him.”

“And you broke it off?”

“Er,” she stammered, and her heart gave a tug when Harry’s face fell. She stood up, not wanting to have this conversation in front of everyone. “Can we, like, talk about it over there? Allison, turn on the telly or something, yeah?”

She decided not to retreat to her bedroom, because the presence of other people (when they weren’t right in the middle of it) might stop Harry from walking out on her. Or that was what she was hoping for, at least. With the buzz of the television, and Cassidy, Zayn, and Allison all talking to make it hard for anyone to hear them, Fiona tugged Harry by the wrist over to the kitchen.

“Look,” she said, pushing her hair away from her face. “I tried to find him, yeah? I looked everywhere. But the one time I actually wanted to see him on campus, I just couldn’t find him.”

“Wait, he goes to uni with you?”

She licked her lips nervously. “He’s a PhD student.”

“And how old is he, really?”

“Twenty-eight.”

Harry’s frown deepened. “Niall was right, Fiona, sleeping with him was a stupid thing for you to do. Especially the second time. I mean, fuck, do you ever consider the consequences of your actions?”

“I was angry, all right?”

“You’re always angry,” he retorted. “But you’re smarter than that.”

She realized, with a horrible sinking feeling, how much she hated that Harry was disappointed in her. “Look, it’s done. If I do see him again, I’ll tell him to back off for good. But I really don’t know what else you expect me to do.” She moved closer, putting a hand on his face and running her thumb across his cheekbone. “I would never do that to you, okay? God, Harry, you’ve got to know that.”

“Will he be in town over the break?” Harry asked.

“I haven’t the slightest idea. He’s a TA, sometimes they have to stick around to grade assignments and go to meetings, I guess. Why?”

“Just wondering,” Harry said absently. “I trust you, Fee, I’m just—I’m upset that you didn’t tell me about it.”

“You knew I’d been with someone.”

“I mean the details,” he said. “The guy’s a TA at uni, that’s pretty fucking close to being one of your professors. You could get into trouble for that.”

She knew he was right, and it was one of the things she dreaded to think about, as well as a massive reason she was glad to be rid of Oliver. “I know. Are we okay?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, his hand finding her side. She felt the pressure of his fingers against her hipbone through the thick wool of her jumper. “C’mon.”

He hooked his arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple as they wandered back over to their friends. A ripple of comfort flowed through Fiona system. The thing she’d been worried about had been dealt with, and it was all okay. She wasn’t sure if anyone but Harry would react that way, or believe in her like he did. Like he always had.

Allison went over and sat in Harry’s old place at the end of the big couch so the two of them could have the green one, and Niall watched as they sat closer than they had in front of him before, and Harry lifted Fiona’s legs into his lap, his arm still across her shoulders.

“Y’know what’s hilarious about all this,” Harry said, loudly enough for everyone to hear him. Niall had yet to sit down; Fiona wondered if he was too agitated to do so. “I was gonna ask you to be my girlfriend today.”

Allison and Cassidy cooed simultaneously, while Fiona smacked Harry square in the chest. “Why didn’t you do that while we were over there?” she asked. “Instead of in front of everyone?”

“Cos I wanted to make Niall uncomfortable,” Harry said easily.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, mate,” Harry said, then blinked at Fiona. “Well?”

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously.”

Harry grinned, planting a loud, obnoxious kiss on her lips. It was successful in making Niall gag, and he loudly excused himself from the room. His overdramatic exit made Louis cackle. “Well, I totally saw this coming,” he said, motioning between the two of them. “All that arguing? There was way too much sexual tension.”

+++

The break was passing far too quickly for Fiona’s liking. Allison had gone back to London a few days ago and her mum and Eli were going to be arriving that afternoon. She was beyond nervous, because they’d never visited her at uni before, and even though her dad wasn’t going to be there it felt like a big moment.

Fiona lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, Harry snoring softly next to her. It was nice that he could sleep in her room without having to sneak out at the crack of dawn, and yesterday morning Niall had even burst in and flopped down over their legs to chat like he used to last summer, when Wren was always around.

It struck her that if it were Wren lying next to her instead of Harry, Fiona surely would’ve crept out to the balcony for a cigarette by now. Wren hated it when Fiona didn’t talk for extended periods of time, lost in her own thoughts. And though Harry tried to pull her out of it from time to time, when he wanted a bit of attention, he knew how to leave her alone too. His slow breaths were calming, keeping her mind in a lulled state instead of an anxious one.

A few minutes later she turned over and wrapped an arm around his middle, burying her face in the nape of his neck and hitching one of her legs over his. Harry mumbled, half-asleep, one of his hands finding hers and lacing their fingers together over the butterfly tattoo on his stomach. Her thumb brushed over the slightly rougher skin where it had been inked, and he hummed.

“Time is it?”

“Dunno, five-ish?”

“Did you sleep?”

“A bit.”

He sighed. “M’kay. Up for a run today?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Just don’t try and kill me this time, yeah?” Harry said, his voice cracking as he said too much at once before it had a chance to warm up. But Fiona liked it, and the way it sent a shiver down her spine. “That last route we did was too long. Dunno how you do it with those polluted lungs of yours.”

She shifted around so she could use her free hand to pinch the softness at his hip. Harry yelped, his hand tearing away from hers, and he flipped onto his back.

“What was that for?” he demanded.

“It was revenge for insulting my lungs,” she informed him.

“You’ve never pinched me before,” he said. “Usually you just tell me to fuck off.”

“New tactics,” she shrugged, and tucked herself into his side. Harry obliged willingly, lifting his arm and draping it around her shoulders.

They dozed in bed for the next few hours — Harry doing much more of the dozing part — before getting up and heading out for a run. It was drizzling out, but neither donned any rain gear. Harry even wore shorts, despite Fiona’s teasing that he’d catch a cold.

She led him on a shorter route, as per his request. And she was glad she did, because the light drizzle turned into a downpour halfway through. They had to look like quite the pair, her with her neon running tights and him with his neon trainers, paired with a bright orange headband he’d nicked from her desk to keep his hair in check, like the rain wouldn’t plaster it to his skull like it did to hers.

When they got back to the flat, they found Niall up and watching the news. He took one look at them, drenched in their athletic gear, and pointed a menacing finger. “Don’t even think about having sex in my shower!”

Harry laughed loudly, then started to complain when Fiona called the first shower. She shut the bathroom door in his face with a smirk, then turned the hot water up to high and stripped out of her wet clothes.

Once she was out of the shower and dried off, Fiona headed to her bedroom. She found Harry stretched out on her bed, his hair still damp and in a bun, but dressed in a hoodie and jeans instead of his running clothes. His journal was splayed in his lap, and he was tapping out a nonsensical rhythm on the page with his pen.

She expected him to close it with a snap the way he always did when she walked in on him writing. But after a quick glance her way, he went back to his journal, brows pulled together.

Fiona couldn’t help but gawk for a moment. This was the most private side to Harry, and he was allowing her to see it. She swallowed and padded over to her closet, putting her back to Harry as she slid open the mirrored door. Fiona licked her lips before letting her towel drop, sparing a peek over her shoulder to see if Harry was watching her. Only when she made a move to pull on a pair of knickers did he look up, his gaze darkening immediately. Fiona slipped on a bra and grabbed a shirt from her closet, turning to face Harry.

As her attention flicked down to his journal briefly, Fiona saw anticipation in Harry’s expression. Like he was waiting for her to ask after the journal, or the poems she knew he wrote inside it. The ones she’d known about before he decided to tell her. But she wasn’t going to make that decision again, it would be his choice whether or not she got to see them, or know anything more than what he told her.

The room felt heavy, and not in the way that made her want to crawl across the mattress and lose herself in him. “Answer me honestly,” she said in a faux-serious tone. “Are you writing about my arse?”

Harry raised his eyebrows before breaking into a grin. “Well, it does help to have inspiration right in front of me.”

“Inspiration?”

“I’ve got more material to work with now,” Harry said easily. “‘S not all in my imagination anymore. But that wasn’t what I was writing about. It’s just some notes — work stuff.”

She finished getting dressed, and Harry got up just as she shrugged on a black hoodie and zipped it up.

"I should go home," he said. "Haven't been there in, like, three days. It's probably gone to hell unless Cass has been cleaning up after those idiots."

"Okay," Fiona hummed, and followed him to the door.

He yanked on his boots and slung his duffle over one shoulder, then leaned down and brushed his lips against the corner of her mouth. "I'll be working, but lemme know how dinner goes, yeah? I hope you like the restaurant I suggested. And no hard feelings about breakfast."

Though Harry had asked if she wanted him to come along to breakfast before Frances and Eli had to catch their train back to London, Fiona wasn’t sure she was ready for that just yet. She wanted to make sure her and her mum were on the same page before she reintroduced Harry as her boyfriend.

Then he was gone, and Fiona retreated to the living room. She and Niall wasted the rest of the morning away, as neither of them had plans until the afternoon.

Later, on her way to the train station to meet her mum and Eli, Fiona lit a cigarette for the first time that day. She realized with a start that it was only her fifth in the past few days, practically nothing compared to the amount she’d smoked a few months back. Inexplicably, she’d been changing almost unconsciously again, dropping her bad habits like flies.

Outside the station she stamped out the end of her cigarette with the sole of her trainer, then tossed it into a nearby bin when she was satisfied it wouldn’t cause a fire. She checked the time on her phone then strolled in, gaze straying up to the timetable screens above her head.

But she didn’t need to be looking, because she heard Eli shouting her name a few seconds later, and then his body crashed into hers. Fiona wondered when he’d grow out of hugs, think he was too cool for them. It had happened to her at age seven, and at ten, it didn’t seem like Eli was going to be tired of them any time soon.

She mussed up his hair, her eyes finding her mother, a few paces behind Eli. She was tugging along a small suitcase that Fiona guessed contained both her and Eli’s stuff, since they were only carrying a handbag and small rucksack, respectively.

“Hello, Fiona,” Frances said softly, her voice barely breaking through the noisy station.

“Hey, Mum,” Fiona murmured, and was released from Eli’s grasp to wrap an arm around her mum’s shoulders.

Frances hugged her back tightly, displaying more feeling than Fiona had experienced in years. When they pulled away, Fiona saw Eli’s grin out of the corner of her eye. It was a bit toothier than hers, but they had the same round cheeks and nut brown eyes. “Your father is—”

“Let’s not talk about him, yeah?” Fiona requested, trying to find some understanding in her mother’s eyes. When she saw it, Fiona felt a swell of relief and gratefulness. “All right, kid, are you ready to see where your big sister pretends to learn stuff?”

“Pretend!” Eli exclaimed, shocked.

“I was only joking,” she grinned, and squeezed his shoulder. “Come on.”

They made a brief stop at the hotel Frances and Eli were staying at for the night to drop off the suitcase and make a preliminary plan for the evening. When Fiona mentioned that Harry had recommended the restaurant, she saw a spark of interest in her mum’s eyes. Fiona was holding off on the ‘boyfriend’ announcement, worried about what her mum’s reaction would be.

“Can we go to the restaurant where Harry works?” Eli asked. “Or — oh, can we see Niall?”

“I don’t think we can go to the restaurant, but we’ll see about Niall. I’m not sure what he’s up to today but he might be on campus. Unless you, er,” she glanced at her mum. “You guys want to see the flat later?”

“That would be nice,” Frances nodded, as Eli let out an excited cheer.

“I’ll have to let Niall know, and um, Harry too.”

“Is he living with you as well?”

“No, well, sort of. Um, you see, Mum, I wasn’t sure how to—I thought maybe I would wait until dinner…”

Frances eyes were locked on Fiona, while Eli looked on with interest from his seat on the edge of one of the beds. “Go on, dear.”

“Harry’s my boyfriend,” she said slowly, hesitantly, the words sounding strange on her lips.

A series of emotions crossed her mother’s face before she stuck with pleasant surprise. “That’s wonderful, Fiona.”

“But,” Fiona said, feeling the need to remind her mother of something she was likely to disregard with this news. “This doesn’t change anything else, Mum, you know that, yeah? Just because I’m seeing a boy now doesn’t mean I’m straight.”

Frances pursed her lips, then reached out and squeezed Fiona’s arm gently. She nodded, but didn’t say anything. Fiona didn’t need her to, the look in her mum’s eyes was enough to know everything was okay.

“Does this mean I can tell you the secret?” Eli asked, breaking the moment.

After patting Fiona’s cheek, Frances went across the room and began to fuss with her handbag, unpacking and repacking what was inside. Fiona recognized the nervous tick, and let her mum have a moment to collect herself as she went and sat next to Eli. “What secret’s that, buddy?”

“It’s from Christmas, when Harry and Niall visited,” Eli said.

“What about it?”

“Well,” Eli began, and looked like he was about to start on one of his stories. Fiona furrowed her brow. “I knew cos when Matty had a crush on Pippa he was always staring at her like a total weirdo and so when we went up to my room to see my science project I asked him if he had a crush on you cos he’d been staring all night and he said he did, but that I mustn’t tell anyone cos it was a big, important secret. It was our secret, and I even kept it like I said I would! ‘Cept now you know, but I don’t think he’ll mind since you’re dating. You don’t think Harry will mind, do you, Fiona?”

Eli had told the tale in the rambling, breathless way he always did. But Fiona didn’t half-listen like she usually did, she was hooked on every hurried word.

On their way to campus, while Eli chattered on in the seat next to hers, Fiona pulled out her phone and sent a text to Harry. His shift wasn’t supposed to start for another hour, so she hoped he’d reply quickly.

did you have a crush on me over winter hols and tell my little brother about it?

That was supposed to be a secret

I can’t believe he told you.

Traitor!

a crush? really?

Those were his words…

But yes.

Did you have a crush on me?

absolutely not

But you did kiss me

So you definitely had a little bit of a crush :)

that was completely unrelated

You had a crushhhhh

stay at your own house tonight

and tomorrow night

make it the rest of the week

When she tucked her phone back into her pocket, she was grinning. Fiona caught her mum watching her curiously, probably not used to such an expression on her daughter’s face. “Who was that?” she asked.

“Just Harry.”

“Did you tell him I said hi?” Eli asked immediately. Frances was smiling.

“I’ll tell him now,” Fiona said, and ignored the series of texts Harry had sent to her in response to her requesting he stay away all week before sending Eli’s hello message. Harry returned it immediately with a smiley face. “He says hi.”

“I like Harry,” Eli said resolutely.

Fiona ruffled his hair. “Me too.”