Hidden Footprints

I spent all of my night awake as I thought about everything that was going on. Questions after questions entered my small brain, contributing to what could lead to a panic attack. I was becoming overwhelmed with everything and I had nobody to talk to about this.

I climbed out of my bed and threw on a baggy shirt and black jeans. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face and walked back into my room.

"Francis!" My Mum shouted from her room. I put on a smile, pushed all the thoughts to the back of my mind and headed into my Mum's bedroom.

"Yes mum?" I asked her.

"I need your help darling. I dropped the bottle of pills under my bed and I can't get them." She told me.

"Sure I'll get them for you." I said to her and crawled down onto my knees before reaching under the bed. I had to get fully under there and I tried not to pay attention to anything else but suddenly my hand touched a picture frame and I froze. I glanced over at the picture. It was a man standing in front of this house with my Mum. My Mum was heavily pregnant and the man's hand was on her bump. They looked happy.

"Did you find them sweetie?" I was interrupted from my thoughts and glanced around quickly till my eyes landed on the orange bottle of pills that were lodged between the bed frame and the wall. I grabbed them and slid myself out from under the bed, placing the bottle on top of the bedside cabinet.

"Thanks Francis. You're a star." I leaned down and kissed her cheek. We were acting as if nothing had happened last night and I was completely fine with that.

"You're welcome. I'm gonna go out with Toby again today. If you need anything I've got my phone on me." I told her and smiled before heading out. I went back into my room and grabbed my phone.

1 unread message.

I slid the notification across. It was Toby.

"Hi Fran. Sry bout ystrdy, I got called home. Cum over if u wnt? My Mum and Dad arent in till l8r" He wasn't the best speller but over the years I'd got used to it. I wasn't expecting something miraculous though. We were only thirteen years old.

I replied with a simple "Sure. I'll be over in 5" and slid my phone into my pocket. I threw on a hoody and headed downstairs to slide my shoes on. I unlocked the front door and headed next door, where Toby would be. I knocked and waited, confused on the silence that I was replied with.

Toby answered the door. His nose was bright red and his eyes were red and puffy as if he had been crying and he was still wearing his pyjamas. He smiled at me and opened the door further, "Come in," he told me and I walked in. We walked upstairs to his room and sat on his bed.

"So, what's up?" I asked, attempting to start a conversation.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me! You've never acted like this in the whole three years I've known you!" I raised my voice only a little, looking at him. He looked down at his lap as a tear slid down his cheek.

"It's Willow.." He mumbled, causing me to wrap my arms around his body and pull him into a tight hug. I just wanted him to know that I was here for him even when he was going through something rough. I didn't want him to talk about it either so I just held him in my arms. My chin was on his shoulder and his head was against mine. He sniffled and looked up at me. "He- he had to be put down in the middle of the night.." He explained to me as his eyes began to fill with tears again.

"I'm so sorry Toby," was the only thing that seemed to want to come out of my mouth as he held on to me. He nodded his head slightly and gripped on to my hoody even tighter. It was so hard seeing him like this and not being able to understand what he was going through.

The front door opened and then shut again. I guess Toby's mum and dad were home. We remained silent despite in the middle of a game that we'd been playing off his tablet. There was a knock on the door then they walked into Toby's room looking at us both.

"Hey Francis."

"Hey Leah." I said back to Toby's Mum. They'd made me start calling them by their first names recently instead of 'Mr and Mrs Dale'.

"I'm guessing you heard about Willow, it's so tragic. He was part of our family." Leah explained to me as her eyes also became teary. "So do you boys want anything to drink or eat?" She asked. I assume to change the subject.

"No thanks Mum." Toby replied nearly instantly.

"I'm alright but thanks."

"Okay, well let me know. Tom and I will just be downstairs." She said to us before shutting the bedroom door and heading back downstairs. Leah was always so friendly towards me. She seemed like such a caring person and it had shown when I'd been around with Toby and his younger sister, Ella, who was only 5.

When Leah had gone downstairs Toby once again hugged me and began to cry softly. I hated seeing him like this. It pained me to see but I knew that letting it all out would relieve his pain a little. I contemplated telling him about everything that was going on in my family but at the same time I didn't want to add more problems to the ones he was already facing.

"What happened last night?" He curiously asked me after a little while. I frowned and looked at him with a quizzical look.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, wondering if he'd overheard anything that my Mum had said last night.

"Well I heard a loud bang.." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I punched the wall." I told him with a 'duh' kind of tone. Things were starting to make my blood boil and I was getting angrier once again just by the mention of what happened. Toby placed his hand on my shoulder as an attempt to calm me down.

"Hey, why did you do that?" He asked me with a concerned tone to his voice, looking directly at my face. Those six simple words were the reason to why I was breaking down, crying on his shoulder as I poured out all my feelings about everything that had happened. I told him everything - all about what my Mum had told me, why I punched the wall, what I found this morning. It seemed easier talking to him then my own Mum.

Hours passed and we'd both calmed down. We'd returned to playing games on Toby's tablet but that wasn't long lived. We'd watched a movie - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and that seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was checking my phone and it was 5pm. We'd spent the entire day together and not once had I got a phone call from my Mum. I was beginning to worry. This was so unlike her. I told Toby I was just going ring my Mum and stepped out into the hallway. I dialled my Mum's number and held the phone to my ear. It began to ring and ring.

"Come on, pick up. Pick up." I mumbled into the phone as it continued to ring. No luck. It was now on voice mail. I frowned and ended the call before sliding my phone into my pocket. I walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, sighing.

"What's up?" Toby asked me casually whilst he watched the movie.

"My Mum won't pick up," I told him with a sigh. "I'm worried."

He sat up and turned to look at me. "Your mum could be asleep like she was yesterday, stop worrying Francis, that's what girls do!" He said to me with a chuckle. I laughed with him, trying to relax and to stop worrying. He was right. My Mum could be asleep.

Half an hour passed and I was still anxiously waiting for my Mum to answer me. I'd rang her again but it simply rang then went on to voice mail. I got up from the bed and headed over to the window attempting to clear my thoughts but something caught my attention - an unfamiliar car was parked in front of my house. I tried to look at the number plate to see if I'd recognise it but I couldn't see it from where I was standing.

"Toby, you don't recognise this car, do you?" I asked him looking directly at the car to see if anyone was in it. He paused the movie he was watching and got up.

"Nope, I've never seen it before in my life." He told me, causing more worry.

"I'll be right back." I told him as I slid my phone into my pocket and walked out of Toby's room. I went downstairs where Tom and Ella were playing with barbie dolls. I said hi to them both before rushing over to the neighbouring house.

I cautiously opened the front door, closing it just as quietly, before making my way upstairs. I got to the landing just as I'd started hearing weird noises. Grunts and moans were coming from my Mum's bedroom. I froze in realisation of what this meant.

"Oh Alex!" I heard my Mum moan. This was one of the most awkward and embarrassing moments I'd ever had to hear. I quickly and just as quietly went back downstairs and headed to the front door to return to Toby's house.

Literally scarred for life.