Status: Complete as of October 29th, 2015.


Chapter 4

Nick was someone I could relate to. I think that's why I was drawn to him. When I lost him–no, I'm sorry–when he died, I did everything I could to convince myself that it was my fault. Because in my head, it was. I should have known something was wrong–he was in a psych ward, after all.

I saw Elias after that. For months. He told me that I couldn't have helped Nick, even if I'd known what was going on. And he was right. I knew that.

Elias comforted me.

He listened.

He cared when others didn't.

That's why I was here again.

To be close to him.

“Nick was a great person,” I said, pulling my knees up into my chest.

Elias nodded. “I only talked to him a few times before the incident, but he said you made him happy. I think he was glad he got to meet you.”

Tears stung my eyes at his words and I whispered, “Then why did he have to die?”

An exhale. A frown. A soft voice.

“He wanted to,” Elias said quietly. “When a person wants to end their life, there's generally nothing that can be done. No way to stop it.”

“Yes, there is,” I answered, narrowing my eyes. “I stopped wanting to die.”

Something flashed in Elias' eyes. But it was gone before I could identify it. He leaned forward and sighed.

“You were stronger than Nick,” he told me. “That's why you're still here.” He was quiet for a moment. “Veronica, did you think about ending your life to join him? I know how you felt about him, even if your time together was short.”

I swallowed, my hands shaking, but shook my head.

Elias never knew how close I came to ending my life – but it wasn't because of Nick.