Secret Santa

“Mom,” I complain as I’m sitting on the couch, “do we really have to do this whole ‘gift exchange’ thing?”

"Yes, Kellin," Mom states from out in the kitchen. "It’s my tradition. You know that. I give everyone a name, and then at the party on Christmas Eve, everyone gives their presents to each other. I’ve got all the names sorted, so I’ll be giving those out soon. You only have to get the person one little thing; it really shouldn’t be that hard."

I let out a long groan. “But you’ve got so many friends, and they’ve all got so many kids. What if I barely even know the person? How am I supposed to know what to get them?”

"Get to know the person," she replies, as if this is a simple task. "You’ve done this before. You know how it works. We’ve had this conversation a hundred times. You’ve always done a good job with your presents. Why is it only becoming an issue just now?"

I don’t tell her that it’s because yesterday I caught a glimpse of her list as she was typing it out on her laptop. I saw the guy she paired me with: Vic Fuentes. The son of one of her best friends, and also the guy that I’ve recently developed an insane crush on.

Fuck.

—

It really shouldn’t be this difficult. I know what he likes. I should have no problems getting his gift. Unfortunately, this is not what happens. I can’t seem to decide on anything. It’s just “one little thing” according to my mom, but that “one little thing” is turning out to be one too many gifts to buy for him. I’m stuck.

It’s not necessarily that I don’t have any ideas for what to get him. I do. It’s just that nothing seems good enough. Nothing seems right. Normally this wouldn’t bother me—I’ve gotten people shitty gifts in the past with no problem—but because it’s Vic, of course, I feel like it has to be perfect. It has to be exactly the right gift and not just something from the dollar store. This is my opportunity to impress him, to make him notice me, so I have to make sure I don’t fuck it up.

This mindset helps with my motivation, but it doesn’t help with actually finding a gift.

There are a bunch of different possibilities, but I always end up finding a problem with every single one of them. I want it to be special, but at the same time, I don’t want to buy something super expensive, either. For one, I don’t have a whole lot of money to begin with, and besides, I’ll just look like I’m kissing up to him if I get him something expensive. It’s a very thin line, and I’ve never been good with balance.

As the days go by and Christmas Eve gets nearer and nearer, this gift-buying dilemma doesn’t get any easier. Vic is actually in my Spanish class, so we end up talking more often, but that doesn’t really help in terms of what I could possibly get him. I can’t even discreetly ask him what he wants for Christmas; he knows who my mom is, and he knows that she’s the one hosting this party like she does every year, so he’d see right through it. I can’t win. (I’m still grateful for Spanish class, though, because it gives me the opportunity to stare at him for an entire hour-long period.)

"Why don’t you just kiss him?" suggests my best friend, Justin, during lunch.

I snort. “Yeah, right.”

"I’m not kidding. That could be your gift. I mean, it’s not like he’s straight, so you’ve at least got a little bit of a chance with him."

I narrow my eyes at him. “Wait, since when is he not straight? Why was I not informed of this?”

Justin laughs a little. “Dude, you’re so oblivious. He’s dated guys before. He’s pretty openly gay. I mean, he doesn’t go around announcing it or anything, but he doesn’t exactly hide it, either.”

My jaw nearly drops. “Holy shit. I just thought—he’s popular and good at sports, okay? Those are traits of a stereotypical straight boy. I guess I just assumed he was straight, since, y’know, it’s a cold, heterosexual world out there. I thought I was the token one percent of gay in this town.”

Justin shakes his head. “Nope, you’re not alone. Him being gay doesn’t automatically mean he’s gonna be attracted to you, obviously, but it’s worth a shot. You’ve still got a better chance than your sister does; let’s put it that way.”

"Wait. Are you seriously suggesting that, as my Christmas present for him, I kiss him?”

"That’s exactly what I’m suggesting."

I just laugh incredulously. “You’re unbelievable, dude. I still don’t know why I’m friends with you.”

"Because I’m amazing. You’ll thank me later."

—

I can’t believe I’m seriously doing this.

After much struggle with trying to figure out what to get for Vic, I’ve decided to actually use Justin’s ridiculous suggestion and just kiss him. This is probably going to go horribly wrong, and I am probably going to get punched. Oh, well. Like Justin said, it’s worth a shot.

The people start showing up at our house around six. Sometimes I forget how many there are—Mom’s super popular, it seems. The Fuentes family arrives fairly early, and Vic gives me one of those cool guy nods as he walks past me. God, he is so out of my league. How is this going to work?

Once everyone has arrived, Mom gathers us all in the living room and tells us to give each other our gifts, even before we can get a chance to eat. Now is the time. I’m about to (most likely) make a complete fool of myself, just with one simple kiss.

I think I’m going slightly crazy.

I watch Vic from across the room, waiting for him to give his gift to the person whose name he was assigned. Then I make my way over to him, my heart beating faster. “Um…hi.”

He turns around at the sound of my voice. “Oh, hey, Kell,” he says, flashing me that stupid gorgeous smile. “So, you’re my Secret Santa, huh?”

"Uh…yeah," I say slowly. "But my gift…it’s, like, not really an object, per se…”

He raises an eyebrow. “What is it, then?”

I just stare at him for a few seconds. This is it, Kellin. This is your moment.

"It’s this," I say. Then I lean forward and kiss him.

It’s short and sweet; I make sure not to linger too long, quickly pulling away before I can get the chance to savor the taste of his lips. At the shocked look on his face, I’m certain that I’ve just done it: I’ve completely ruined everything.

"I—I’m sorry," I stammer. "I just—I couldn’t think of what to get you, and my friend knew that I kind of have a crush on you, so he told me I should—"

Vic doesn’t let me finish my sentence. He cuts me off right in the middle by pulling me in by my shirt and kissing me back, long and hard, his fingers tangling in my hair, and it’s an absolutely incredible feeling.

"You don’t need to explain yourself," he says when he finally pulls away from me. "Trust me—that’s one of the best Christmas presents I’ve been given in a long time."