Full Life Circle

Emily’s POV

Woah. What in the hell am I doing here? He’s a widow with a baby girl who needs caring for. Can I really put myself through this? Of all of Patrick’s teammates, I always thought Jon was the best looking even when he was married. But that was when he was strictly off-limits and it was just a little crush. Now there are boundaries, but not completely anything saying he is totally off-limits anymore. Could I really help him raise his daughter every day and know there’s nowhere for my heart to fit in here?

I grab my cosmetics bag and head towards the bathroom. I do my business and then rinse my face with some water in the sink. The bathroom is a pale gray with some salmon accents. It’s a nice combination in the bathroom that can probably fit six people comfortably without moving into the tub.

I didn’t put on any makeup this morning because of the traveling, but I decide to throw on some eyeliner and mascara to give myself a more awake appearance. I don’t need to sit down across from the guy and let him think that I’m exhausted, even though I am. I couldn’t really sleep last night because I was thinking about coming down here. I didn’t know if Jon and I could be good friends like we pretended to be the few times we actually met and were forced to talk. Or if we aren’t going to get along at all. And then there is the whole concept of Brooklyn. Would she like me and would I do a good job of being her nanny if that is what I decide. I’m still not completely sure about any of those things, but I’m here to test the waters.

After letting some lotion sink into my wind-dried face, I head out the bathroom door to the main hallway. I find Jon’s door and knock. I hear a come in and so I let myself into the bedroom. This room is painted in the same gray as the bathroom, but instead of coral accents, it is red. The Blackhawks theme is overall apparent. I find Captain Blackhawk himself sitting in the corner of the room next to the crib in a rocking chair. In his arms is a little form wrapped in a pink swaddle. She looks so small in her father’s large arms. I got closer and begin to notice the similarities between father and daughter. Abby is right, she is absolutely adorable. Cute as a button.

“Emily, this is Brooklyn. She isn’t sleeping through the night yet and she’s been really cranky today. She usually calms down in someone’s arms, but Daddy hasn’t gotten too good at it yet,” he refers to how she is fussing at the moment in his arms. Her face is contorted and at that moment, I think she looks a lot like Ande. When I look at Jon again, his face has softened like he saw his wife’s face in his daughter’s just then. “Would you like to hold her? With her being awake, she won’t mind the switch. She might actually welcome it. She’s only seen me and my ugly face the last three days. Abby has dropped in, but always when she’s asleep and we don’t want to bother her because her sleeping patterns aren’t established yet.”

“I would love to hold her,” he stands and gently places the little girl in my arms. He then stares intently at me. I’m sure he is assessing how well I can connect with his precious angel and so I begin to talk to the little girl as I sit in the seat he just vacated. “Why hello Brooklyn, aren’t you just as cute as a button. Your Daddy is going to need a shotgun when you get older.” I tease and I hear Jon let a chuckle escape from his lips.

I adjust Brooklyn so that both of us are comfortable and offer her one of my fingers to grasp. All of her fingers wrap instantly around my index finger and it melts my heart right then and there. It’s magical.

“Uh oh, I know that look. She just pulled you in, didn’t she?” Jon says and I only nod. Sitting here with this man and his daughter, I know I will opt to stay. Maybe one day I will find this for myself with a man of my own to start a family, but this is where I want to be for now. This little girl needs a woman besides my sister in her life and I volunteer my heart for the job.

We sit there until she fell back asleep, which was only about twenty minutes. The Chinese is delivered as I put Brooklyn into her crib gently. It’s perfect timing really.

I join Jon in the kitchenette where he is opening the Chinese food at the counter. I take a moment to study him. He is obviously over-exhausted. His hair sticks up in weird places towards the back of his head, he wears a baggy Blackhawks T-shirt, and a black pair of sweats. The pants seem to cling to his thighs, which make him look even more muscular than I think he is.

“She’s asleep and in the crib. How long does she sleep at a time?” I ask as I lean against the wall watching him make a plate for himself. It is quite a sizable plate too. I’m sure Chinese isn’t exactly on his hockey diet from what I hear from my sister, but who am I to judge.

“She’ll be hungry in about two hours is my guess. I apologize for making my plate, but I haven’t eaten since 11 am and I’m starving. Help yourself, there’s a plate and chopsticks or a fork here for you. I’m going to sit in the family room, feel free to join me. I hardly use the kitchen table anymore to be honest,” I nod as he walks past me and go to make myself a plate.

How should I tell him that I want to stay already? All I’ve been able to do so far is see my room and hold Brooklyn, but I’m ready to commit to this little girl.