Full Life Circle

Once my plate is satisfactory, I grab a water bottle from the refrigerator and join Jon on the couch. We have only met each other a handful of times over the years since Jon joined the Hawks. But the entire time he was with Ande, first just as boyfriend-girlfriend, then fiancés, and finally as husband and wife. So this is my first real interaction with him as a single man. The reason I’m describing this is because we are sitting on opposite sides of the couch.

“Is your bedroom okay? Like I said earlier, I’m planning to move so if you stay on, be prepared for that from the beginning.” He explains between bites. He is the most relaxed I have ever seen him. Maybe it is because he doesn’t have to impress anyone and he is in the comfort of his own home. It makes me wonder how many people have seen him this way. I think he’s much sexier like this than he is when he’s serious on the ice.

“My room is just fine, thank you. And I think I’ve already made a decision.” His head snaps quickly in my direction. I fear it will come off or at least cause some damage. He stares intently as if his life hinges on my words, which, technically it does. “I would like to stay. I have already fallen in love with Brooklyn, you need someone who you know and can trust, and I’m not after your money. Your daughter needs someone constant in her life aside from you because of your hockey commitment. And your parents aren’t about to move to Chicago permanently. So if you will allow me, I would love to be Brooklyn’s nanny.”

“That would be great. Would you like to talk compensation now or later?” He returns to being the businessman side of himself again. I instantly regret bringing this up at this particular moment. He had finally let his guard down and now that is all gone. I know he only wants to get things figured out, but it isn’t pressing by any means.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not really worried about it right now, only in the long run.” He shakes his head and pulls up his phone. He opens an app, or so it looks like.

“Well, let’s at least chat about it and final figures can be decided on later. First of all, I will give you an allowance each week for things needed in the house like groceries, cleaning supplies, etc. I will help pay for your degree program at UIC - Abby mentioned you have been trying to get a new degree and that you wanted it from UIC. I can also give you health care with a $500 deductible. There will also be a car that you will have the advantage of using and receiving a gas allowance for. Is there anything specific you would like on top of this?” he is back to serious, not just business-y. This is even a different side of him, like the Captain took over. “Oh, I almost forgot. You will receive a salary. It will be nice to help you build up some savings seeing as you won’t need to spend your own money very often.”

“You are being overly generous, Jon.” He shakes his head sternly, like I would imagine him doing in front of his teammates. Maybe one day I would get to see him do it in person to one of them.

“You are the one giving up your life to raise my daughter. I’m only giving up money that I won’t use no matter what. I know you will appreciate it and you aren’t asking me for it.”

I stare at Jon for a moment, formulating my response. He only sees it as me giving up my life to care for his child. Well, to that degree, I will have to show him otherwise that I want to be helpful and essentially be a mother figure to his daughter. It is the best thing I can do at this point in my life. I’ve only been floating along the last few years since undergrad. Now I will have a purpose - to raise that little girl.

“I don’t see it as giving up my life, just changing it up for an extended period of time. That’s good to do once in a while, or so I hear. This will give me a good purpose in life. I have to admit that I haven’t felt connected to anything since I graduated, but I already feel different here. I should be thanking you.” He only nods as he processes what I have told him.

“Since you plan on staying, would you join me with the realtor tomorrow? You will definitely spend a lot of time at the place and it would be helpful to know what kind of baby proofing will need to be done eventually. And of course, you should have a say in where you live for who knows how long.”

“I would love to accompany you. I helped Abby baby proof their house for Maddie. So that will definitely help. Have you thought about what you are looking to move to?”

“At least a three bedroom, I’m currently thinking a condo. They are generally bigger than apartments and more homelike. I’m trying to move closer to some of the guys in one of the burbs so that I can be close in case we ever needed anything. That way they could be super close for emergencies. I told the realtor that I wanted to begin looking towards Pat and Abby’s. More condos are available there than the city anyways.”

“I think that sounds great. You have a pretty good idea. Are there any make or break points you have? I have helped a lot of my friends find places. So far, everyone loves their own respective places. One thing with condos, though, are the associations. There are fees and guidelines to follow and such. They can be a real pain.”
“We don’t have those in Canada. I had no idea they existed. What kind of fees and guidelines do they usually have?” he has finished eating and is patiently waiting for my response.

“The fees vary by location and association. The guidelines do as well, but usually they have something about fence height, garbage can placements, how long cars can park and where if they are guests. Those kinds of things. I’m sure Abby told you, but I went to University of Iowa for undergrad so most of my friends were American and I helped them find places in Iowa and their hometown if that’s what they wanted.”

“Interesting. Any of your friends live here in Chicago?” I shake my head.

“The closest one is up near Rockford, near where the Ice Hogs play.” I know a lot about hockey and I want to prove it to him. Not everyone knows of the Rockford Ice Hogs who just happen to be the AHL team that is in the Blackhawks family.

“Yeah, that’s nice. My brother David used to play up there.”

“Anyways, do you still like the condo idea? I mean, associations can be nice so you don’t have to worry about your yard, but you still have one or some of your bills are clumped together into dues. It really depends on what you want out of your new home. Have you thought about a house?”

“I haven’t really given houses much thought since I cut out of the deal I already had with Ande’s dream house.” He responds with a strong shake of his head and then looks to me hoping to change the conversation and its direction.

“It was just a thought. You could go straight to a house, but then someone in your future wouldn’t really have a say. If there is someone you decide to go down that road with again.” How I wish I could be that person. I’ve only been in his apartment for a little more than an hour, now that we’ve finished dinner and are just talking on the couch, and I’m already falling hard for him.

“I’m not ready for the whole shebang just yet - which would be a house in my opinion. So, either a bigger apartment or a condo is what I’m looking for. The appointment with the realtor is at 10am tomorrow, by the way.” He is a little more relaxed at this point, but not enough for the light to shine in his eyes when he smiles.

“Sounds great.” We both get up and bring our dinner things to the kitchenette. We used real plates and silverware, so we clear our plates into the trash and then I volunteer to do the dishes.

“You don’t have to do that, Emily.” He says multiple times before and as I do the dishes.

“Jon, it will be a part of my job description while you are on the road, I can do them now too. It’s not a big deal.” He just shakes his head and stalks out of the kitchenette. I take a deep breath. It is really hard to stand up to such a powerful man. Especially when you are attracted to him as much as I am.

Once I finish, I look for him in the family room, but he isn’t there. I opt to knock on his bedroom door next. He doesn’t respond so I slowly peek inside.

This time, Jon is standing over the crib that sits in the corner of his bedroom. I would assume that he is watching his daughter sleep. I don’t blame him, she’s beautiful and his only family that represents the love he once shared with his wife. I also take note that he has changed from his sweatpants to gym shorts.

Deciding that I was appearing too invasive, I decide to go sit back out in the family room and take a good look around the apartment. The front door entered into a hallway that came to open up with a view of both the kitchen and the family room. The kitchen is more hidden, but you can see the table sticking out of the doorway. The same hallway that lets you into the apartment continued past the kitchen to the bedrooms and bathroom. Overall, it was a very basic apartment. But then, I remember hearing that this is the only apartment Jon and Ande had ever lived in. It makes sense that when they moved here, they would go for a basic apartment. But now, I don’t know why they hadn’t thought about moving prior to her pregnancy.

I know from what Abby has told me that Ande decorated the apartment by herself, and she did a great job. But it will probably suck when Jon needs to move and someone has to paint the entire place white again.