This Distance Is Poison

“And this is your room.” Kennedy said, laying my suitcase on the mattress. I walked in the room behind him, looking around at the empty walls. A bed, a dresser, and an armchair were the only pieces of furniture in the room. It would do for now. I was thankful that Kennedy was letting me stay with him in the first place. Honestly, I didn’t expect to meet him, have lunch, then go to his house to stay there for the rest of my trip. I’d have to figure out how long I’d be staying though. I didn’t want to be a burden and I didn’t want Kennedy buying extra food for me or anything. I’d definitely help pay for groceries — it was the least I could do.

“This is nice.” I said, still looking around. The bed was even made.

Kennedy’s room was upstairs along with the bathroom. The house was pretty decent for someone living by themself. It was nice.

“You can put your clothes in there if you want,” Kennedy pointed at the dresser across from the bed and I nodded, turning back to him. “I’ll let you get to that then.”

I smiled as he left the room. The room seemed so big to me. Maybe because it was bigger than my bedroom in the apartment. Thinking about Florida only made me think about Valerie and how I hadn’t told her I was here yet. As I unzipped my suitcase on the bed, I held my phone to my ear and called her. She was excited to hear that I was standing in Kennedy’s house and how I’d be staying here until I came home.

“Hey, Em? Do you — “ Kennedy said from the hallway where his footsteps grew closer to my room. He stood in the doorway, stopping his sentence when he saw that I was on the phone. “Oh, sorry.”

“Oh my God. Is that him?” Valerie asked in my ear.

I laughed, closing my eyes briefly.

“Let me talk to him!”

“My friend wants to talk to you.” I held out my phone to Kennedy and he stepped forward, a curious smile on his lips. I went back to unpacking while he stayed in the room and talked to Valerie. He moved to sit on the bed and I glanced at him every now and then when I went back to my suitcase. Valerie was probably warning him or something, which made me a little anxious.

Kennedy soon hung up, Valerie not asking to talk to me again. He held my phone in his hand and I pushed the finished drawer closed, turning toward him. “She’s…”

“Intense?”

“Yeah,” he laughed, nodding his head. “Basically if you die while you’re here, I’m going to join you.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged, not completely bothered by Valerie’s threat. She just cared about me is all.

Kennedy watched me walk to the bed and I closed my suitcase, putting it next to the dresser. He was still looking at me when I turned back around and I crossed my arms, looking at my feet again.

“What were you going to ask me earlier?” I wondered.

“Oh, yeah. I know you just got here and it’s cool if you don’t want to, but my friends are hanging out tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to go.”

Hanging out with his friends would be fun and I’d get to meet them and I’d go out like Valerie wanted me to. Looking down at my rings, I was reminded of the moping around for the past few weeks because I mostly stared at my rings when I had nothing else to do. I’d gone out this past week though, so I should go out and hang out with his friends. It should be fun. But I was feeling tired and I think it would be better to stay in. “Maybe some other time? I’m kind of tired from stressing about the flight and stuff.”

“Yeah, of course.” He said, standing up off the bed and handing my phone back to me. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Kennedy left my room again and I moved to crawl up on the bed. I laid there for a while, staring up at the ceiling which turned into three hours of staring at the ceiling. I just got here and Kennedy and I barely talked. We should be talking since we talk all the time over email. I feel bad that I turned down going out with him and now I feel bad for not talking to him. The clock on my phone read 7:24. I scooted off the bed and pulled my socks off. Before I left the room, I grabbed a sweatshirt from where I placed it in the dresser and I slipped it over my arms while grabbing the doorknob. The lights downstairs were still on, in the kitchen and living room. Kennedy wasn’t even down here, but it was his house so I guess you can do whatever you want. My sweatshirt slipped off my shoulder as I walked up the stairs as quiet as a mouse. Music was playing from Kennedy’s room, but it was only loud enough to hear when you got to the top of the staircase. I licked my lips, brushed a hand through my hair, and knocked on his door so he could hear it. His music turned off and in less than a second, he opened the door.

“Hey,” he said with a small smile. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.” I nodded, wrapping my arms around me and pulling my sweatshirt back over my shoulder. “I just thought that it would be better if we actually hung out. I mean, that is why I came here. So we could see each other and stuff.”

Kennedy smiled wider and he moved aside to let me into his room. I walked in, looked around, and stood in the middle of his room. He had the same types of furniture I did, but he had a desk too. That’s where his music was playing from. He had a website up on his internet browser, but I didn’t know what it was. His walls were covered by a few pieces unlike mine downstairs. There were things relating to his band and things that he’s gathered from around the world while on tour. I ventured over to the wall by his closet to check them out, smiling absentmindedly.

“You guys are pretty famous, huh?” I asked while looking at a few gifts fans must’ve gave him.

Kennedy chuckled quietly from behind me at his desk. “Not as famous as The Beatles or Tom Petty.”

“Did you know that I didn’t know who Tom Petty was until high school?”

“Seriously?”

I laughed, turning toward him. “I heard Free Fallin’ was I was younger of course, but I wasn’t curious as to who the artist was so I never asked or anything. Valerie was the one who introduced me to good music.”

I walked over to Kennedy’s desk, leaning my arm on the top of it and putting my chin on my hand. “How long have you known Valerie?”

“Since diapers. She’s the sister I never had.”

Kennedy nodded at me. I smiled a little bit and looked around his room again. From the corner of my eye it looked like he was messing around on the computer, but when I looked at him after a couple of minutes he was staring at me.

“Why are you staring at me?”

He shrugged, “I’m trying to get used to you.”

“Do you always stare at strangers?”

“You’re not a stranger, I’m just not used to your face.”

“I’m a new face, so are strangers.” I laughed.

“Just let me stare at you.”

I laughed again, dropping my head.