This Distance Is Poison

After breakfast, John left to go to his house. He told us where their friends would be today and I guess Kennedy and I weren’t going until later. I went into my room and changed into clothes for the day. Kennedy came downstairs when he was changed and freshened up and we both sat on the couch, turning on the TV. I wasn’t really sure what else we would do today, but I was definitely okay with sitting around with him and talking of course.

“Aren’t you going to miss a lot of work while you’re here? Shouldn’t you go home earlier?” Kennedy asked curiously. I knew that he wasn’t just saying that to get rid of me because he wanted me here as much as I wanted to stay. I’ll admit that I should go home earlier, but there was nothing for me there. So why not spend a couple — even a few — weeks here?

I shook my head while looking at him. “I don’t have a job anymore. I was fired.”

“Do you know why?”

Kennedy seemed pretty surprised by that. It wasn’t even that important really. To me, I was fired for no reason because I thought that I did everything right. Since I’m in Arizona, not caring about when I had to go home again, I didn’t do something right.

I shrugged my shoulder, “I guess I wasn’t enough for my dad.”

“Your dad fired you?” His eyebrows rose a few inches, almost into his hairline. I gave him a nod. “Why?”

“I’m not cut out for the job. Everything I did wasn’t the right way or it wasn’t good enough. My dad’s a perfectionist, Kennedy, and I’ve tried my whole life to be what he wants. We don’t have the best relationship, which is probably why neither of us have called the other. I think my mom’s upset at me too.”

“I doubt both of them are upset at you. It seems like you didn’t do anything wrong and your dad is just asking you for too much.”

I nodded along with his words, looking down at my knees. “That’s another reason why I came here. I couldn’t keep moping around or Valerie would’ve killed me and shoved me into a box then shipped me to here.”

“That’s an interesting picture.”

I giggled, laying my head on the back cushion. “I’m glad I’m here though. I haven’t really thought about my dad until now.”

“Maybe you should call him. You know, to patch things up and understand why he fired you. I’m sure he was just doing what was right for you.”

Kennedy was staring at me when I looked up at him, his head now resting on the cushion too. “You’re pretty optimistic about that, aren’t you?”

“Everything happens for a reason,” he shrugged. “And I doubt your dad only just fired you for not being good enough. I also doubt that you weren’t good enough. The job was probably shitty.”

I smiled. “It was.”

“See.”

It was amazing how fast Kennedy made me feel good. I smiled again, moving toward him and laying my head on his shoulder. My arm laid over his waist. “Thanks for making me feel better.”

Kennedy put his arm around me, touching my waist too. “What are internet friends for?” I giggled, closing my eyes briefly and opening them to look at the coffee table in front of his knees. If I could, I would so fall asleep right now and I would probably wake up happy. Kennedy was so warm and it wasn’t awkward to sit with him like this. I thought it would be now that we were in each other’s presence, but it was the complete opposite. That made me happy because I’d rather be comfortable than awkward. “Two years ago, I never thought it would be like this.” Kennedy said. I wanted to lift my head up, but I left it on his shoulder.

“Like what?”

“I didn’t think that we’d talk as much as we have. I thought we’d talk for a while and then we’d grow out of each other, but I never grew out of you. I didn’t want to, I just didn’t think we’d become so close like we are now. Seeing you in person was like a reality check — when you told me you were coming it was a reality check.”

“I didn’t grow out of you either.” I mumbled, bringing my hand up and putting it under my cheek. “After a couple months I thought that you would get tired of waiting on emails and you would start being annoyed with me not sending pictures. I think I was more afraid of losing you than anything else.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

I smiled tiredly, feeling my eyes droop. Kennedy didn’t mind the little naps I took in between waking myself up. I didn’t want to fall asleep on him, but I was tired and I didn’t even do anything to tire myself out. The more I wanted to fall asleep, the more I curled up against Kennedy’s side. It was quiet for a while as we sat in the living room. He watched TV while I rested my eyes and tried to stay awake. The afternoon came closer with each moment that passed and I was a little disappointed when Kennedy nudged me for us to go meet his friends. I stood to my feet from the couch while he turned off the TV.

“We’re just going out to eat with them so they shouldn’t embarrass me too much.”

I smiled as I walked down the hallway and into my room for my shoes, wallet, and phone. Valerie texted me a few minutes ago while she was at work and I sent her a text back, telling her that everything was fine like she asked. Kennedy was waiting for me by the front door and we left then, getting into his car and driving toward the restaurant we were eating at. I almost laughed when he pulled up to a Chili’s because Chili’s was my favorite.

“Did you tell them to meet us here?” I asked Kennedy as we got out of the car.

“Maybe,” he grinned, shrugging with his hands in his pockets. “I thought you would like it.”

“I am about to devour some serious food, my friend.” I sighed happily as we walked in and were seated at a table with two long booths. Kennedy and I ordered our drinks while waiting on his friends. He was making me laugh, telling me some ridiculous story that included his friends and him on tour.

“Boo,” someone said by my ear, causing me to put my hand on Kennedy’s thigh since it startled me. John was grinning as he straightened his back and walked to sit in the booth across from us. “Did I scare you?”

“Just about,” I laughed nervously, taking my hand away from Kennedy with a blush. About seven other boys joined us at the booths and my eyes went wide a little since there was no way there were nine people in Kennedy’s band. Obviously there weren’t since I recognized his band mates like I did with John this morning. They all got comfortable in their seats and I glanced at John across from me, but he was smiling at Kennedy like this meeting was the greatest thing in the world. Once everyone got settled, the waiter coming over and getting orders for drinks, Kennedy introduced me to everyone and said all of their names, which I remembered for the most part. John was the most welcoming of course. He even talked about what happened this morning to the whole table. They laughed a little at it.

We ordered food not soon enough because my mouth was watering ever since Kennedy and I stepped through the front doors. Everyone at the table let me order the appetizers. Kennedy knew they were my favorite so he ordered another two since one wouldn’t be enough.

“So, they’re your favorite?” John asked, leaning forward on the table.

I nodded, thinking about eating the egg rolls soon. “If I were trapped on a deserted island and I could only eat one dish for the rest of my time there, it would be the egg rolls.”

“She’d die happy.” Kennedy said, leaning on the table too.

“I would.”

When the egg rolls came, one being set down right in front of me, I nearly opened my mouth to let out a flood. They smelled delicious. John, Kennedy, Jared, and I all took one, dipping it into the ranch dressing in the middle. Everyone else was eating one from the tray in front of them. I closed my eyes after the first bite, laying my head back on the seat.

“Don’t start moaning or this is going to turn into a really weird orgy.”

I lifted my head up fast and stared at John while his friends laughed. “That’s disgusting,” I pointed my pinky at him, chewing what was in my mouth.

“Welcome to the family.” The boy on the other side of Kennedy said, leaning back to look at me with raised eyebrows. His name was Max, Moose, if I recall.

All of us devoured the egg rolls. I only had three since the guys I shared the tray with decided to let me eat the third one. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate at Chili’s, but it was probably last year or so. Kennedy was smiling at me when I looked over at him, lazily almost. My eyes rolled a little as I dipped the egg roll into the ranch dressing for a second time. It was safe since there weren’t anymore left and the guys were done with them. “You’re staring again.”

“Is that acceptable?” Kennedy asked me.

“Not if I’m eating.”

He laughed and looked away while I took my last bite. John went to the boys’ bathroom and Jared wasn’t paying attention to Kennedy and I. I chewed and swallowed my appetizer, handing the platter to the waiter when he came over to get them. I sipped on my drink, laughing when Kennedy’s eyes were on me again.

“Can I stare at you now?” I asked him, widening my eyes and moving my face closer to his to see if it would freak him out. He just laughed.

“Do I really stare at you like that?”

“No.”

Lunch was pretty filling. By the time we got the check and everyone pitched in, I made some new friends. We all stood in the parking lot, feeling our stomachs bloat. Mine didn’t really bloat, but I was full. Kennedy talked with the guys for a few minutes. John talked to me, wondering when he’d see me again as if his life depended on it. He was just being friendly. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out. Valerie texted me.

Your mom called. She said she was wondering if you wanted to go out. You didn’t tell her you were going to be out of town?

I sighed heavily and asked Kennedy if he could unlock his car so I could call Valerie. He did and I walked toward it sitting in the space. Valerie answered after the second right and she told me about how my mom called a few minutes before she texted me. Valerie was a little disappointed that I didn’t give my mom a heads up about where I would be this week. Of course she calls me now instead of last week or the week before or the one before that. She probably wanted to fix my dad and mine’s relationship. She couldn’t. There was no way she could because my dad was the most stubborn person ever and I had the same trait. Even if my mom wanted me to call him, I wouldn’t.

Valerie and I said see you later after she filled me in. My mom called her since I dodged her call earlier while I was eating. Kennedy was still standing outside amongst his friends. I looked at him with my phone pressed against my ear as I called my mom back. His hands were in his pockets and he was nearly hunched over in laughter. I could hear it all the way over here. Even the windows were up.

“Emily.” My mom said in a short breath like she lost it. “I called earlier and then Valerie said you were busy.”

“Yeah, I was. I was out for lunch with a few friends.”

“Lunch? Isn’t it a little late for that?”

I rolled my eyes. It was only two in Florida. “Not in Phoenix.”

“Phoenix?”

“I’m in Phoenix, mom. I have been since yesterday.”

“And I’m just learning about this now? Why didn’t you tell your father and I?”

“I came to visit a friend of mine. I’m okay, I made it in one piece. I don’t know when I’ll be back though. Maybe a few weeks. Or longer.”

“Who’s this friend you’re visiting?”

“It’s just a friend, mom. His name’s Kennedy. I swear I’m safe.” If I told her his last name she would’ve sent a search team out for me. Having a mom as a detective wasn’t always the best.

“Where are you staying? How are you going to pay to stay there longer than a few weeks?”

“I’m staying at his house.” Kennedy finally said goodbye to the guys and he was walking my way. He fumbled with his keys in his hand. “Mom, I have to go. I’ll let you know when I’m coming back, okay?”

She sighed. Unhappily? “Okay. I love you. Stay safe.”

“I will. Love you too.” I said as Kennedy got into his seat and closed the door. She hung up and I set my phone in my lap.

“Everything okay?” Kennedy asked curiously.

I nodded. “It was just my mom.”

He nodded and started the car. “So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?”

My eyes scanned the parking lot out the windows and I breathed in deeply, thinking. I’ve never been here before so I didn’t know what there was to offer. I looked back at Kennedy and shrugged my shoulders, “Show me around.”