Sinking Moons
OUR BODIES GET BIGGER BUT OUR HEARTS GET TORN UP
Maggie Morette wasn't much of a people person. She was always around a ton of people, she went to a ton of parties and she talked a lot of shit, but none of it was real. She couldn't even remember the last time she had a conversation that meant anything to her. People sucked. No one gave a rat's ass what anybody else had to say. Every time she spoke to someone she could just see the wheels turning in their heads. They were always planning what to say next. God forbid they ever actually listen to her. She eventually told herself she couldn't really blame them, though. 90% of the words that came out of people's mouths made her want to either vomit, curse, or turn and walk away. Maybe she would be happier if she just stopped listening like everybody else.
"Did you hear who's back in town for the summer?"
Maggie passed the blunt in her hand to her left as she turned her head to the one and only person who had always been there for her. Grace's eyes were wide and she was fighting back a smile as she waited for someone to ask the inevitable 'who?'.
They were at another bonfire. These happened almost nightly during the summer, and Grace was determined to go to every single one before their final year of high school. "Look, if you have fun at one I promise we can stop going," she had laughed earlier that week. It had been a long time since Maggie had fun doing anything, and Grace knew it.
"Oh yeah. Logan Lewis, right? From like fifth grade? My mom and I ran into him at the grocery store. He's hot as fuck now," a random girl spoke as she sipped a Smirnoff Ice. Maggie choked on the marshmallow she had just stuffed in her mouth.
"Are you okay, Mags?" Grace asked as she continued to cough.
"You're coming with me," Maggie replied as she pulled Grace away from the fire. "I'm going to kill you. What the fuck? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were still in loooove with him. It's been like seven years Maggie."
"You could have warned me. And I'm not still in love with him. We were kids, it was stupid."
"You will be when you see him," Grace laughed.
It was 10 A.M. and Maggie was sketching a picture of Bob Marley on her bedroom wall when the doorbell rang. She stuck the pencil behind her ear and sighed as she walked down the hallway to the front door. When she opened the door she found herself looking up at an attractive face she didn't recognize.
"Can I help you?" she finally asked after she decided the silence had reached an awkward point.
"Hi. Um, Phoebe?"
"What the fuck is your problem?" she asked as she slammed the door shut. She was already having a bad enough morning. Her dad had brought home a new woman last night, and the last thing she needed to deal with was another asshole. The doorbell rang again, and she grabbed a steak knife from the kitchen before re-opening it.
"I'm serious. Get the fuck off my porch."
"It's me. Logan."
"Oh my God," Maggie said as she slowly sat the knife on the foyer table.
"I know. I'm sorry I thought you were Phoebe. You just look sort of young, and you didn't recognize me at all. I wasn't sure," he shrugged with his hands up.
"I haven't seen you since you were nine. How am I supposed to recognize you?"
"I don't know," he shrugged. It was awkward again, and Maggie felt sick to her stomach as the realization hit her. He didn't know about any of it. He came to her house thinking everything would be the same.
"Look, um, now isn't really a good time to catch up," she said as she started to shut the door. "It was good seeing you. I'm sure we'll run into each other soon."
"Mag-" he began as the door clicked shut again.
"Fuck," Maggie groaned as she ran her hands down her face. She didn't have the strength to deal with any of it right now. She hadn't expected everything to crash into her like a wall when she saw him. She shut her eyes and leaned her back against the door, expecting to hear the doorbell again. When five minutes passed and she was positive he was gone, she sank to the floor and cried. She cried for Phoebe, for her mom, for her stupid as fuck excuse of a father, but mostly for the perfect childhood and the ignorant happiness she knew she could never get back.
"Did you hear who's back in town for the summer?"
Maggie passed the blunt in her hand to her left as she turned her head to the one and only person who had always been there for her. Grace's eyes were wide and she was fighting back a smile as she waited for someone to ask the inevitable 'who?'.
They were at another bonfire. These happened almost nightly during the summer, and Grace was determined to go to every single one before their final year of high school. "Look, if you have fun at one I promise we can stop going," she had laughed earlier that week. It had been a long time since Maggie had fun doing anything, and Grace knew it.
"Oh yeah. Logan Lewis, right? From like fifth grade? My mom and I ran into him at the grocery store. He's hot as fuck now," a random girl spoke as she sipped a Smirnoff Ice. Maggie choked on the marshmallow she had just stuffed in her mouth.
"Are you okay, Mags?" Grace asked as she continued to cough.
"You're coming with me," Maggie replied as she pulled Grace away from the fire. "I'm going to kill you. What the fuck? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were still in loooove with him. It's been like seven years Maggie."
"You could have warned me. And I'm not still in love with him. We were kids, it was stupid."
"You will be when you see him," Grace laughed.
___________________________
It was 10 A.M. and Maggie was sketching a picture of Bob Marley on her bedroom wall when the doorbell rang. She stuck the pencil behind her ear and sighed as she walked down the hallway to the front door. When she opened the door she found herself looking up at an attractive face she didn't recognize.
"Can I help you?" she finally asked after she decided the silence had reached an awkward point.
"Hi. Um, Phoebe?"
"What the fuck is your problem?" she asked as she slammed the door shut. She was already having a bad enough morning. Her dad had brought home a new woman last night, and the last thing she needed to deal with was another asshole. The doorbell rang again, and she grabbed a steak knife from the kitchen before re-opening it.
"I'm serious. Get the fuck off my porch."
"It's me. Logan."
"Oh my God," Maggie said as she slowly sat the knife on the foyer table.
"I know. I'm sorry I thought you were Phoebe. You just look sort of young, and you didn't recognize me at all. I wasn't sure," he shrugged with his hands up.
"I haven't seen you since you were nine. How am I supposed to recognize you?"
"I don't know," he shrugged. It was awkward again, and Maggie felt sick to her stomach as the realization hit her. He didn't know about any of it. He came to her house thinking everything would be the same.
"Look, um, now isn't really a good time to catch up," she said as she started to shut the door. "It was good seeing you. I'm sure we'll run into each other soon."
"Mag-" he began as the door clicked shut again.
"Fuck," Maggie groaned as she ran her hands down her face. She didn't have the strength to deal with any of it right now. She hadn't expected everything to crash into her like a wall when she saw him. She shut her eyes and leaned her back against the door, expecting to hear the doorbell again. When five minutes passed and she was positive he was gone, she sank to the floor and cried. She cried for Phoebe, for her mom, for her stupid as fuck excuse of a father, but mostly for the perfect childhood and the ignorant happiness she knew she could never get back.