Everything Will Change

I came back home the next morning looking fresh and alive. Yeah, who am I kidding? I looked like a zombie. I had the biggest headache and all I wanted to do was to throw up. But, I would not change a thing.

Last night was amazing and perfect. I made new friends who share the same interests as me, I got drunk, I smoke weed and even had a treesome with Michael and his friend Alex. Never have I felt so good in my entire life. I was on Cloud9, but I was soon brought back to reality when I open the front door of my father's house. Lorie and my dad were sitting in the living room. My dad was the first to talk.

''Lucas Robert Hemming, where were you last night?'' He yelled. ''You are so grounded young boy.''

''Dad, I told you. I went bowling with some friends and I slept at a friend's house afterwards. There is no need to ground me,'' I replied.

''I was hoping you would not lie to me Lucas. Ashton told us you both went to a party. You lied to us,'' My dad said.

''Well, if Ashton says so, then it must be true, right?'' I asked. Looks like Ashton finally decided to stop lying for me, I can't really blame him. I've been kind of a douche towards him at the party.

''Don't use that little tone when you talk about my son, '' Lorie warned me. ''What happened to him? He came back home last night crying and locked himself in his room. He hasn't come out since then.''

''I don't know man, I'm not in his head,'' I replied.

''Did something happened at the party?'' She asked. They want no more lies, then I'll give them the truth.

''Want to know what happen? Ok fine. Last night, I told your son he was boring and annoying, that he did not know how to have fun. Then, his ex came in and started making fun of Ashton, and it made me laugh, a lot. Ashton got sad and mad, basically told me I was a jerk and left,'' I answered.

''You're such a disgrace Lucas,'' My dad mentionned.

''Could you tell me something I don't know, please?'' I replied.

''Your dad is right,'' Lorie said. Well, I guess I won't like her after all. ''Since Ashton started hanging out with you, he's not the same. He started lying to us and doing things behind our back. Plus, how dare you say such horrible things to my son? I never saw him that upset before. Do you know how much it hurts for a mother to see her son coming home crying and not wanting to talk about it?''

Wow, I didn't imagine that my words and attitude would hurt Ashton that much. What I said wasn't even that bad, he needs to toughen up.

''I'm sorry, I guess,'' I replied, not really feeling sorry at all. I never feel sorry about my actions.

''Then fix it. Go talk to him, he won't listen to us. Apologize or do whatever it takes, but fix this. I don't care how long it takes. When you come back, Ashton needs to be with you and happy,'' Lorie ordered.

''Your wish is my command, your majesty,'' I replied.

I left the angry adults and climbed the stairs, heading to the room I share with Ashton. The door was closed. I knocked it and got no answer. I decided to open it because it's also my room after all. I don't have to knock to go in my room.

There were no lights on. There wasn't a single sound. All I could hear was the beat of my heart and my breathing.

''Ashton?'' I said. No answer.

I walked to his bed and realized it was empty. Ashton wasn't in our room. Maybe he decided to leave the house so he would not have to see me again, maybe he just needed some time alone.

I left our room and was about to go back down in the living room when I heard the faint sound of someone crying in the bathroom. There was no doubt that this was Ashton. That guy can cry for a long time.

''Ashton, are you okay?'' I asked as I knocked on the bathroom door.

''G-go away Luke,'' Ashton replied. He definitely was crying.

''What's wong, Ashton?'' I asked.

''I said go a-away Luke. L-leave me alone,'' He answered.

I could just leave him by himself until he stops crying and lie to his mom by telling her he is asleep. I could also open the door and try to comfort him, even though it's not my favorite thing to do.

I picked the second option. I've already been enough of a jerk towards him, the least I could was to try to fix my mistakes. Wait, why did I want to fix my mistakes?

I pushed the thought away and opened the door. I could not believe what I was seeing. I heard about it before, but I've never been confronted to it. I wished it had stay that way, because the view was horribly sad.

Ashton was sitting on the floor covered with little spots of blood. He had cut, revealing how sad and hurt he was. I couldn't even count how many cuts there were on his arms. There were too many. I didn't know what to do. I've never been in that situation before. I've never seen someone hurt so much before.

''Ash, what did you do?'' I asked quietly as I sat in front of him.

He didn't reply at first. His had his head fown, but I could see the tears coming out from his eyes.

''Because nobody cares, because I'm just an annoying loser with a boring life,'' He replied sadly. Did I make him feel that way?

''That's not true Ashton. Your mom do cares about you, my dad cares about you, I care about-,'' I said but couldn't finish my sentence.

''Lies,'' Ashton said. He took a deep breath before speaking again. ''My mother and your dad don't really care about me. They j-just assume what is best for me and get mad when I decide otherwise. They saw m-me coming home crying last night. Not once did they came in my room to check if I was okay. Not once. And you. Just don't pretend that you care about me. You made it clear last night.''

''I might have been mean...but I still care about you,'' I said sincerly.

''No, no you don't,'' He replied. I didn't want to argue about it any further. I had other questions in mind.

''Why did you do this to yourself?'' I asked. ''There are other way to express your sadness...''

''Because I deserve it, and like I said...nobody cares about me,'' He answered. ''My family wouldn't understand, my ex hates me and I don't have any friends. It hurts to be alone all the time. I thought I had you. You were to first one who seemed to understand me. You were the first to actually talk to me like I wasn't a loser. But I was wrong. You're like the others. Cutting is all I have left.''

It really hurt me to see him talking this way. It hurt hearing him saying such horrible things about himself. If I had known he was so sensitive, never would have said those things to him. I wouldn't have tried to change. I know I should have followed him last night when he ran away. My fun side just always win over my caring one.

I could understand how Ashton was feeling. I sometimes feel like him, like people don't care about me. Take my family for example, they see me as a big failure. Fortunately, I have friends who seems to care about me...but Ashton doesn't.

''I know you think that I don't care about you, and I can't blame you. I've said nasty things to you. I should have protected you. I know I shouldn't have made fun of you. But that's who I am...the carefree Luke Hemmings who tries to avoid any type of drama because it is no fun,'' I replied.

''Just leave me alone then...Like you said I'm no fun,'' Ashton said.

''You did not let me finish,'' I continued. ''Like I was saying, I usually don't care about hurting people, I even think that it is funny. But right now, trust me when I say that I care. I don't want you to hurt yourself.''

I couldn't help myself but glancing at his arms. The cuts didn't seem pretty deep...but the view almost brought me to tears.

''Why? What makes me different?'' He asked.

''You made me realize that I can cause horrible things...'''I replied sadly.

''Don't put all the blame on your shoulders Luke... It wasn't just your fault,'' Ashton assured me.

''But I could have stopped it,'' I added.

''Yeah...but at least you're here now when no one else is. I know that my mother probably sent you...but you could have ran away from me...but you stayed. Thank you,'' he said with a small smile on his face.

''You're welcome. I'm going to let you clean up okay? I'll be in our room and we can talk a little more. And please, promise me you won't do it again!'' I said.

''I'll try, I promise,''Ashton replied.

I stood up and headed to our room with many thoughts in mind. For the first time, I realized that my actions can have horrible consequences. I thought it was fun, to laugh about somebody. I didn't know that it could lead to situations like Ashton's.

For the first time, I cared about seeing someone sad. I felt a new emotion when I saw Ashton on the ground. I felt something new, something I've tried to avoid for such a long time.

And most of all....I felt sorry for the first time.