Status: In progress.
I Swear I'm Not a Hopeless Case
Chapter 08.
By the time lunch had come around, I wasn't the least bit hungry. My encounter with the 'smiling mystery guy' in Pre-Calc had me embarrassed and flustered. Why was I such an idiot? I could've answered him nicely. It was completely possible to talk to an attractive stranger with out making a fool of yourself. Unfortunately, I have yet to perfect that.
I was never smooth when it came to flirting and talking to boys. When around people I find myself interested in, it seemed prudent to shut my mouth and hope for the best. Except when it came to Greg. I found it extremely elementary to converse with him. We just clicked.
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I looked around the crowded classroom, searching for someone I recognized from junior high. It was the first day of school and the integration of all the junior highs in the area into one big High school was supposed to be exciting. You had brand new kids to meet- you could even have a fresh start. The thought of a clean slate made the corners of my lips upturn while still scanning the classroom for a familiar face.
The teacher had set a seat chart together in alphabetical order, putting our names on the desk we were to inhabit. Mine was thankfully in the back, due to my last name beginning with W. I craned my neck over to the desk next to me. It read "Craig Zimmerman." I twiddled my thumbs anxiously, waiting for class to start and to see who was to sit next to me.
The bell rang and class began, the seat next to me still empty. I sighed a breath of relief, feeling more comfortable with the fact that I wouldn't have to put in the effort to socialize. The teacher began discussing the classroom grading policy when the door opened. In stepped a boy with shaggy blonde hair and a T-shirt of what was presumably his favorite sports team.
The teacher scolded him lightly about his lateness, but she then understood when he explained that he had gotten lost. She asked him to find his seat. He looked around the classroom to the only open seat- next to me.
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"You're doing it again."
I looked up to meet eyes with Liz. She looked concerned, yet slightly annoyed. I then realized how often I must daydream.
"Sorry," I said, picking at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I packed for lunch, "I just have a lot on my mind."
She nodded sympathetically.
Erin, one of Liz's other friends sat down next to me, placing her tray upon the semi-clean table."Have you guys seen the new kid? Everyone is talking about him!" She opened her bottle of water and chugged like she hadn't had fluids in years. "He is fucking adorable."
Liz didn't even bother to swallow her food before responding. "Who cares? We were all new once. Let the poor kid be. He's probably being swarmed by some of the estrogen-filled demons walking these halls."
I smirked, before diving into the conversation. "New kid? Wait, what does he look like?"
Kaitlyn, another friend of Liz, put her two cents in. "I heard he looks like a younger, hotter James Franco."
Liz guffawed. "Puh-lease. Spare me the inept details."
Erin interjected. "Hey, get off your high horse. When Joey Munoz was the new kid you were all over that."
Liz put her face in her hands. "Please don't remind me."
Kaitlyn gasped slightly and leaned forward. "Look guys!" She pointed subtlely to the other side of the courtyard. "There he is."
I turned and looked over my shoulder, only to see the boy from Pre-Calc walking across the courtyard, carrying his lunch. He was scanning the area for a place to sit. His head turned in my direction and I quickly turned away. I quickly began to busy myself with eating my sandwich.
"You should invite him to sit with us!" Erin said hopefully.
Liz shook her head, her Beanie Baby's arms flopping along with her. "No, no way he'd sit with us. That man is bound to end up with the Pops."
I looked up and saw her looking at the table furthest away from us. We called it 'The Pops' table. Pops. As in popular kids' table. As in Grace...and Adam.
I felt my hands clench into fists involuntary and my appetite was gone. For reasons that I didn't know, I found myself jealous of Adam and his friends. Why did they always get what they wanted? Why were people so drawn to them? They weren't that great. They weren't that appealing. But, I knew Liz was right. This 'new kid' reeked of already developed popularity. At his old school, he probably ran the place. I shook my head as I turned around to see him sit exactly where Liz said he would. I felt my shoulders sink. "You called it, Liz." I said, more morosely than I would have liked.
Liz looked at me just like she had that morning; with great curiosity. I cursed inwardly and promised to hide my feelings more carefully next time. But what feelings? Why did I feel so strongly about a stranger I don't know finding his place at our school? Maybe because he seemed nice? Maybe because he seemed genuinely interested in having a conversation with me?
No matter what, though, I knew that it was best to keep away from him. If not for me, for Greg; for his memory. Greg was and is the only man who could make me feel things; and I wanted to keep it that way.
I was never smooth when it came to flirting and talking to boys. When around people I find myself interested in, it seemed prudent to shut my mouth and hope for the best. Except when it came to Greg. I found it extremely elementary to converse with him. We just clicked.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I looked around the crowded classroom, searching for someone I recognized from junior high. It was the first day of school and the integration of all the junior highs in the area into one big High school was supposed to be exciting. You had brand new kids to meet- you could even have a fresh start. The thought of a clean slate made the corners of my lips upturn while still scanning the classroom for a familiar face.
The teacher had set a seat chart together in alphabetical order, putting our names on the desk we were to inhabit. Mine was thankfully in the back, due to my last name beginning with W. I craned my neck over to the desk next to me. It read "Craig Zimmerman." I twiddled my thumbs anxiously, waiting for class to start and to see who was to sit next to me.
The bell rang and class began, the seat next to me still empty. I sighed a breath of relief, feeling more comfortable with the fact that I wouldn't have to put in the effort to socialize. The teacher began discussing the classroom grading policy when the door opened. In stepped a boy with shaggy blonde hair and a T-shirt of what was presumably his favorite sports team.
The teacher scolded him lightly about his lateness, but she then understood when he explained that he had gotten lost. She asked him to find his seat. He looked around the classroom to the only open seat- next to me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You're doing it again."
I looked up to meet eyes with Liz. She looked concerned, yet slightly annoyed. I then realized how often I must daydream.
"Sorry," I said, picking at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I packed for lunch, "I just have a lot on my mind."
She nodded sympathetically.
Erin, one of Liz's other friends sat down next to me, placing her tray upon the semi-clean table."Have you guys seen the new kid? Everyone is talking about him!" She opened her bottle of water and chugged like she hadn't had fluids in years. "He is fucking adorable."
Liz didn't even bother to swallow her food before responding. "Who cares? We were all new once. Let the poor kid be. He's probably being swarmed by some of the estrogen-filled demons walking these halls."
I smirked, before diving into the conversation. "New kid? Wait, what does he look like?"
Kaitlyn, another friend of Liz, put her two cents in. "I heard he looks like a younger, hotter James Franco."
Liz guffawed. "Puh-lease. Spare me the inept details."
Erin interjected. "Hey, get off your high horse. When Joey Munoz was the new kid you were all over that."
Liz put her face in her hands. "Please don't remind me."
Kaitlyn gasped slightly and leaned forward. "Look guys!" She pointed subtlely to the other side of the courtyard. "There he is."
I turned and looked over my shoulder, only to see the boy from Pre-Calc walking across the courtyard, carrying his lunch. He was scanning the area for a place to sit. His head turned in my direction and I quickly turned away. I quickly began to busy myself with eating my sandwich.
"You should invite him to sit with us!" Erin said hopefully.
Liz shook her head, her Beanie Baby's arms flopping along with her. "No, no way he'd sit with us. That man is bound to end up with the Pops."
I looked up and saw her looking at the table furthest away from us. We called it 'The Pops' table. Pops. As in popular kids' table. As in Grace...and Adam.
I felt my hands clench into fists involuntary and my appetite was gone. For reasons that I didn't know, I found myself jealous of Adam and his friends. Why did they always get what they wanted? Why were people so drawn to them? They weren't that great. They weren't that appealing. But, I knew Liz was right. This 'new kid' reeked of already developed popularity. At his old school, he probably ran the place. I shook my head as I turned around to see him sit exactly where Liz said he would. I felt my shoulders sink. "You called it, Liz." I said, more morosely than I would have liked.
Liz looked at me just like she had that morning; with great curiosity. I cursed inwardly and promised to hide my feelings more carefully next time. But what feelings? Why did I feel so strongly about a stranger I don't know finding his place at our school? Maybe because he seemed nice? Maybe because he seemed genuinely interested in having a conversation with me?
No matter what, though, I knew that it was best to keep away from him. If not for me, for Greg; for his memory. Greg was and is the only man who could make me feel things; and I wanted to keep it that way.