I Can Barely Feel Anything Real

Six days later, and there was a day off the next day. So, of course, we were tired of the crowded bus and opted instead for hotel rooms.

We were parked in the hotel's parking lot, and Jonathan and I were the only ones awake.

"So," Jonathan said and handed me a room key. "I don't know who you'll be sharing with yet. When everyone else gets up, I'll talk about rooms with them. As for now, you can go to whatever room you're in and situate yourself." I smiled and thanked him, and headed through the hotel lobby, up the elevator and down a hallway to my and whoever else's room, number 46.

After I dumped my stuff on the dresser, I went to go check out the bathroom. I liked hotels with big bathrooms. And lucky for me, that one ended up being big. I took a shower to sooth myself of any tensions I had, and once I stepped out of the shower I was much calmer than I had been before. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and wrapped the biggest towel I could find around myself. This hotel must have decided that everyone was a 4'5 dwarf and only needed a teacoasy to cover themselves, and it just covered enough not to show anything.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Kyle laying on the queen-sized bed. He sat up when he saw me come in.

"Hey! I'm your roommate for however long we're here for." He smiled.

"Two nights. And I surprised Caleb let you, of all people, be my roommate." I told him while I grabbed my pyjama shorts and a tank top. I was conscious not to move too fast, as to not flash him.

"Yeah, I just told him that it would be weird and uncomfortable on so many levels to share a bed with his sister. He agreed, naturally." He nodded his head wisely, making me laugh. He then shifted his attention to my thighs.

"Uh, I'm going to go change. I'll be right back." I hurried back into the bathroom with my pyjamas.

"Stupid stupid stupid..." I muttered when I realised I had brought shorts instead of pants with me. I put them on anyways. I then hung up my poor excuse for a towel and re-exited the bathroom.

As I walked back towards the bed, Kyle was already standing. He wrapped his arms around me.

"What are those scars on your legs from?" He whispered in my ear.

Damnit.

"What scars?" I asked innocently. He pulled back.

"Those ones." He pointed to my thighs. "Are those..." He trailed off. I looked away from him. He gently pulled down the shorts to inspect the scars more carefully, and gasped when he found his assumptions to be correct.

"Alexa, who did this to you?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

"An old boyfriend..." I answered him, tears falling down my cheeks.

Alright, fine. Caleb had had a reason not to like or trust my boyfriends. But it wasn't like he knew about this anyways.

"Did you tell anyone?" Kyle asked me, trailing his hands over the marks and indentations on my legs.

"No," I said simply. He looked like he was going to argue with me, but then dropped it. He then started to lift my shirt.

No, not again. This wasn't happening again. Kyle was different. No, it's not the same.

"What are you doing?" Despite my trying to convince myself, I was scared. I tried to remove his hands and smooth down my shirt.

"You have these scars on your stomach... but they're not the same as the ones on your legs. I know because I've felt them. Let me see them, Alexa. I need to know." He kept trying to take of my top, and my tears were falling harder now.

He already knew me so well.

"Please, Kyle. Please don't. Please." But he didn't stop, and I gave up. I let him lift the tank top over my head and run his cool fingers over the thin long scars covering the surface of my abdomen. His hands stopped above a cut that was only a few hours old.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" He asked and continued trailing his hands again.

I didn't answer, I just shook my head. He already knew about the numerous scars on my wrists. I let the tears fall more freely now, and I was practically sobbing half naked on his shoulder. He led me to the bed and he laid down with me next to him, still crying.

When my well of tears had finally run dry, I looked up into Kyle's eyes. He wiped away the tears left on my cheek with his thumb and pressed his lips to mine in a passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around me. It was the safest I had felt in a long time.