Status: Hi. I don't know what to put here. At least I'm honest, though. :)
The Support Group
Episode #2- "The Flea Market"
SALLY: And what's really upsetting about it, about my brother, is that we were always so close. Like, I have ten siblings, and we're always really crammed in everywhere, and in the car he always sits next to me and I sit by the window and he's the one that's closer to me than anybody else. And now I don't wanna be close to him anymore, since he's a pervert and I'm afraid he'll rape me. Especially if it's dark, ya know? He might mistake me for a boy because I have this deep, manly voice and short hair and I can kinda seem like a boy.
DAN: Well, I don't think anyone in their right mind would try to rape YOU no matter how the lighting is, but I understand how you feel.
SALLY: But that's just the trouble, Dan! He's homosexual. Homosexuality is a mental illness, and mentally ill people aren't in their right mind-
PAUL: Actually, homosexuality isn't a mental illness, and anyway, mental illness and insanity aren't synonymous, they're quite different-
BILLY BOB: No one here speaks Spanish! For the last fuckin' time!
SALLY: Yeah, I couldn't understand a word you just said. Anyway, as I was saying, homosexuals aren't in their right mind, so Isaac might rape me. Wait a minute, where you insulting me, Dan?
DAN: *looking up from phone* That's nice, Sally. Good for you. Paul, I want you to go second today, you didn't talk at all last week except to criticise people in Spanish.
PAUL: Well, as we said last week, I'm here because I'm bisexual, and my Dad thinks that it's immoral for some stupid fucking reason, and he wants me to "repent," which I'm not going to do.
DAN: But when you were a kid you were never homosexual! You always liked girls! You went after boys sometimes too, but you always liked girls!
PAUL: That's because I'm bi, Dad. I just said that.
DAN: What does being bilingual have to do with anything? We all know you can speak Spanish, you did it a lot last week.
PAUL: JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY VOCABULARY DOESN'T MEAN I'M SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE, OKAY?! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!
BILLY BOB: Where you speaking German this time? Wow, I guess you trilingual!
PAUL: Fick dich. Happy now?
BILLY BOB: Ecstatic.
DAN: Ecstasy? That's illegal!
BILLY BOB: I told you, I speak American, not them other languages!
PAUL: Can we stop talking about languages?
DAN: Yes. Paul, talk about why you're here some more.
PAUL: Well, I'm 18 so Dan shouldn't be allowed to force me to come here, but he literally ties me up and drags me here. I thought about moving out of the house, but he keeps me locked up in the basement- mmph! *Three masked figures wearing all black enter, put duct tape over Paul's mouth, and carry him away*
DAN: Thanks, guys. Well, I guess it's Billy Bob's turn now.
BILLY BOB: I'm gonna tell y'all the story of how them homos took over the world.
EVERYONE EXCEPT BILLY BOB: *Groans*
BILLY BOB: Do you fags groan like that in bed? Stop complainin' and listen ta my story. It all started in 1693-
SALLY: Do you mean 1963?
BILLY BOB: That too. It all started in 1693 when J-F-U-C-K became the president of the United States. He spread Liberal propoganda everywhere, and started putting Conservatives in concentration camps where many if them were gassed. The remaining people were brainwashed, forced to accept LGBTs and Non- Caucasian people-
DAN: Wait, are you racist?
BILLY BOB: It's only racism when it's against whites. White power! *pumps fist*
DAN: No, that's fucked up. The color of a person's skin, or where they're from, are all just trivial details that say nothing about who people are. You've got to look past those minor differences and realize that we're all human, and we all deserve respect. Now, when we start to talk about sexual orientation and gender identity, that's when it becomes important to recognize the superiority of certain people.
BILLY BOB: *wakes up from a nap* Huh?
DAN: Did you listen to anything I just said?
BILLY BOB: Anyway, JFUCK turned America against those of us who had real morals, who had good, bigotted, immoral morals, and that's why there are people fighting for "queer rights" today. As if queers deserve rights! They should all be gassed, every last one of them!
DAN: They were gassed. Hitler killed gays along with minority groups- something I convienantly don't consider gays to be- during the Holocaust. Conservatives weren't killed, Hitler was Conservative himself. It was wrong of him to kill gays. That doesn't mean it's right to be gay- it grosses me out, yet strangely turns me on, which I don't like- but it's not right to commit genocide. Occasional murder is okay, but not genocide.
BILLY BOB: Well, then we could lock them all up in places like the where animals live before the slaughterhouse and force them to live in their own excrement and packed together in cages, then send them to the slaughterhouse where they'll have their throats slit and body parts severed while still conscious, and then beat them all to death and then package and eat them! And milk the lesbians and bisexual women so that babies have the most quality milk to drink!
DAN: BILLY BOB, WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT GENOCIDE?
BILLY BOB: Well, fags are animals and deserve to be treated as such.
DAN: No, animals need to be treated that way because the public demands it, but not humans. It's okay when it's animals. Fuck animals. Not literally, though. The Bible says bestiality is wrong, and that's the only reason I'm against it. Not because it's rape or anything. If it didn't say it was wrong in the Bible, I'd probably do it!
BILLY BOB: But I like genocide! It makes me happy! It's a splendid tradition that's been around since forever!
DAN: Just because something is traditional, doesn't mean it's good.
BILLY BOB: What about traditional marriage?
DAN: That's different.
BILLY BOB: How?
DAN: You know what, we're moving on. I don't like this topic. Lexy? Would you like to say anything?
LEXY: I agree with Billy Bob. Those fags don't deserve to live.
DAN: Okay, Lexy, they're people too, they have a right to live.
LEXY: *eye twitches* Whatever you say.
DAN: So, want to tell us about how homosexuals make you feel? We're here for you.
LEXY: They make me feel extremely violent! They make me want to blow something up! They just disgust me so much and I CAN'T TAKE IT! UGH! *Throws knife at the wall* I'M JUST SO ANGRY!! *Morphs into female version of the Hulk* LEXY ANGRY! LEXY SMASH! *Smashes empty chairs and objects, then scampers out of the room*
DAN: Okay then. Charlie? Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?
CHARLIE: Um, I'm not really sure why I'm here again. Um, I thought I was homosexual because I didn't know what the word meant, but now I do and I know I'm not. Um, I suspect I might just be here for the refreshments. Those cupcakes we ate earlier were pretty good. Um, I don't know what to say.
DAN: Just tell us what you like to do! Let us get a sense of who you are!
CHARLIE: Well, I like to ride my bike in the park. And I like to have girls ride me in the park sometimes, if you know what I mean-
DAN: Oh, you're a ladies man, aren't you Charles!
CHARLIE: It's just Charlie. Don't ever call me Charles again or I'll beat you to death with my chair. Anyway, I also like to collect stamps and stick them on my tummy. See? *pulls up shirt to reveal stamps on his stomach* This one is from Hawaii, this is from England, this is from London, this is from China, this is from Florida, this is from Ticonderoga, and this is from Argentina.
DAN: You've been to a lot of interesting places, Charlie.
CHARLIE: No, I just collect the stamps from these places at the local flea market.
DAN: Do you ever buy any fleas?
CHARLIE: No, they don't sell fleas. That's not why it's called a flea market-
DAN: Well then, why do they call it a flea market? It makes no sense!
CHARLIE: I don't know, okay! I just go there!
DAN: You should know!
CHARLIE: Well, I don't! I just go there!
DAN: Know!
CHARLIE: No!
DAN: Fine! *calms down instantly* So, what is it like at these "flea markets?"
CHARLIE: Well, a lot of people look around at all the things you can buy, and some of them are really creepy looking and I suspect that they're rapists, and there's this one lady at the cash register that smells really bad, and I doubt that she showers. Also, there's this one guy there with a walking stick who is always behind me on line for some reason, and he keeps trying to put his stick up my ass, and it really frustrates and upsets me because it hurts. Then he finds the special spot and I feel fucking fantastic! That's always the best! And also, there's this really bratty 12 year old boy there who is always whining and who has really long hair, down to his waist, that's all tangled up and he never brushes it. At least, I think it was a boy since his parents called him Arnold, I'm not entirely sure because he wore a dress the other day.
DAN: *Nods and says, "Ah," and "Mm hm" throughout story*
DAN: Well, that sounds like an interesting place to be.
CHARLIE: It certainly is.
FRANK: Ahem?
DAN: Gsunteit.
FRANK: What about me?
DAN: What about you?
FRANK: Don't I get to speak?
DAN: Normally yes, but not today, the whole thing with Billy Bob was very time consuming. I'm afraid it's time to go.
***********************************************
DAN: Well, I don't think anyone in their right mind would try to rape YOU no matter how the lighting is, but I understand how you feel.
SALLY: But that's just the trouble, Dan! He's homosexual. Homosexuality is a mental illness, and mentally ill people aren't in their right mind-
PAUL: Actually, homosexuality isn't a mental illness, and anyway, mental illness and insanity aren't synonymous, they're quite different-
BILLY BOB: No one here speaks Spanish! For the last fuckin' time!
SALLY: Yeah, I couldn't understand a word you just said. Anyway, as I was saying, homosexuals aren't in their right mind, so Isaac might rape me. Wait a minute, where you insulting me, Dan?
DAN: *looking up from phone* That's nice, Sally. Good for you. Paul, I want you to go second today, you didn't talk at all last week except to criticise people in Spanish.
PAUL: Well, as we said last week, I'm here because I'm bisexual, and my Dad thinks that it's immoral for some stupid fucking reason, and he wants me to "repent," which I'm not going to do.
DAN: But when you were a kid you were never homosexual! You always liked girls! You went after boys sometimes too, but you always liked girls!
PAUL: That's because I'm bi, Dad. I just said that.
DAN: What does being bilingual have to do with anything? We all know you can speak Spanish, you did it a lot last week.
PAUL: JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY VOCABULARY DOESN'T MEAN I'M SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE, OKAY?! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!
BILLY BOB: Where you speaking German this time? Wow, I guess you trilingual!
PAUL: Fick dich. Happy now?
BILLY BOB: Ecstatic.
DAN: Ecstasy? That's illegal!
BILLY BOB: I told you, I speak American, not them other languages!
PAUL: Can we stop talking about languages?
DAN: Yes. Paul, talk about why you're here some more.
PAUL: Well, I'm 18 so Dan shouldn't be allowed to force me to come here, but he literally ties me up and drags me here. I thought about moving out of the house, but he keeps me locked up in the basement- mmph! *Three masked figures wearing all black enter, put duct tape over Paul's mouth, and carry him away*
DAN: Thanks, guys. Well, I guess it's Billy Bob's turn now.
BILLY BOB: I'm gonna tell y'all the story of how them homos took over the world.
EVERYONE EXCEPT BILLY BOB: *Groans*
BILLY BOB: Do you fags groan like that in bed? Stop complainin' and listen ta my story. It all started in 1693-
SALLY: Do you mean 1963?
BILLY BOB: That too. It all started in 1693 when J-F-U-C-K became the president of the United States. He spread Liberal propoganda everywhere, and started putting Conservatives in concentration camps where many if them were gassed. The remaining people were brainwashed, forced to accept LGBTs and Non- Caucasian people-
DAN: Wait, are you racist?
BILLY BOB: It's only racism when it's against whites. White power! *pumps fist*
DAN: No, that's fucked up. The color of a person's skin, or where they're from, are all just trivial details that say nothing about who people are. You've got to look past those minor differences and realize that we're all human, and we all deserve respect. Now, when we start to talk about sexual orientation and gender identity, that's when it becomes important to recognize the superiority of certain people.
BILLY BOB: *wakes up from a nap* Huh?
DAN: Did you listen to anything I just said?
BILLY BOB: Anyway, JFUCK turned America against those of us who had real morals, who had good, bigotted, immoral morals, and that's why there are people fighting for "queer rights" today. As if queers deserve rights! They should all be gassed, every last one of them!
DAN: They were gassed. Hitler killed gays along with minority groups- something I convienantly don't consider gays to be- during the Holocaust. Conservatives weren't killed, Hitler was Conservative himself. It was wrong of him to kill gays. That doesn't mean it's right to be gay- it grosses me out, yet strangely turns me on, which I don't like- but it's not right to commit genocide. Occasional murder is okay, but not genocide.
BILLY BOB: Well, then we could lock them all up in places like the where animals live before the slaughterhouse and force them to live in their own excrement and packed together in cages, then send them to the slaughterhouse where they'll have their throats slit and body parts severed while still conscious, and then beat them all to death and then package and eat them! And milk the lesbians and bisexual women so that babies have the most quality milk to drink!
DAN: BILLY BOB, WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT GENOCIDE?
BILLY BOB: Well, fags are animals and deserve to be treated as such.
DAN: No, animals need to be treated that way because the public demands it, but not humans. It's okay when it's animals. Fuck animals. Not literally, though. The Bible says bestiality is wrong, and that's the only reason I'm against it. Not because it's rape or anything. If it didn't say it was wrong in the Bible, I'd probably do it!
BILLY BOB: But I like genocide! It makes me happy! It's a splendid tradition that's been around since forever!
DAN: Just because something is traditional, doesn't mean it's good.
BILLY BOB: What about traditional marriage?
DAN: That's different.
BILLY BOB: How?
DAN: You know what, we're moving on. I don't like this topic. Lexy? Would you like to say anything?
LEXY: I agree with Billy Bob. Those fags don't deserve to live.
DAN: Okay, Lexy, they're people too, they have a right to live.
LEXY: *eye twitches* Whatever you say.
DAN: So, want to tell us about how homosexuals make you feel? We're here for you.
LEXY: They make me feel extremely violent! They make me want to blow something up! They just disgust me so much and I CAN'T TAKE IT! UGH! *Throws knife at the wall* I'M JUST SO ANGRY!! *Morphs into female version of the Hulk* LEXY ANGRY! LEXY SMASH! *Smashes empty chairs and objects, then scampers out of the room*
DAN: Okay then. Charlie? Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?
CHARLIE: Um, I'm not really sure why I'm here again. Um, I thought I was homosexual because I didn't know what the word meant, but now I do and I know I'm not. Um, I suspect I might just be here for the refreshments. Those cupcakes we ate earlier were pretty good. Um, I don't know what to say.
DAN: Just tell us what you like to do! Let us get a sense of who you are!
CHARLIE: Well, I like to ride my bike in the park. And I like to have girls ride me in the park sometimes, if you know what I mean-
DAN: Oh, you're a ladies man, aren't you Charles!
CHARLIE: It's just Charlie. Don't ever call me Charles again or I'll beat you to death with my chair. Anyway, I also like to collect stamps and stick them on my tummy. See? *pulls up shirt to reveal stamps on his stomach* This one is from Hawaii, this is from England, this is from London, this is from China, this is from Florida, this is from Ticonderoga, and this is from Argentina.
DAN: You've been to a lot of interesting places, Charlie.
CHARLIE: No, I just collect the stamps from these places at the local flea market.
DAN: Do you ever buy any fleas?
CHARLIE: No, they don't sell fleas. That's not why it's called a flea market-
DAN: Well then, why do they call it a flea market? It makes no sense!
CHARLIE: I don't know, okay! I just go there!
DAN: You should know!
CHARLIE: Well, I don't! I just go there!
DAN: Know!
CHARLIE: No!
DAN: Fine! *calms down instantly* So, what is it like at these "flea markets?"
CHARLIE: Well, a lot of people look around at all the things you can buy, and some of them are really creepy looking and I suspect that they're rapists, and there's this one lady at the cash register that smells really bad, and I doubt that she showers. Also, there's this one guy there with a walking stick who is always behind me on line for some reason, and he keeps trying to put his stick up my ass, and it really frustrates and upsets me because it hurts. Then he finds the special spot and I feel fucking fantastic! That's always the best! And also, there's this really bratty 12 year old boy there who is always whining and who has really long hair, down to his waist, that's all tangled up and he never brushes it. At least, I think it was a boy since his parents called him Arnold, I'm not entirely sure because he wore a dress the other day.
DAN: *Nods and says, "Ah," and "Mm hm" throughout story*
DAN: Well, that sounds like an interesting place to be.
CHARLIE: It certainly is.
FRANK: Ahem?
DAN: Gsunteit.
FRANK: What about me?
DAN: What about you?
FRANK: Don't I get to speak?
DAN: Normally yes, but not today, the whole thing with Billy Bob was very time consuming. I'm afraid it's time to go.
***********************************************
♠ ♠ ♠
Episode 3 should be posted soon. I had already written the first two episodes, so that's why they were both posted today. I hope you enjoyed this. Leave a comment and subscribe, or else!