We Bleed Like Water Colors

I wake up in a daze. I look around at my surroundings only to see a bright light blinding me. It took me a few minutes to recollect my memories and sigh in disappointment.

"Victor.. Hun." My mama said from across the room. I smile weakly at her, I know that this is probably routine for her by now and as usual, my "father" wasn't here. Pretty typical of him. My mama was reading a book in a little chair about a meter away.

A nurse came in a little later to take my blood pressure, "Welcome back," she said sadly. I nod, "Thanks Tay." By now the nurses were pretty used to me. How many times how I attempted and chickened out or got caught? Too many to remember.

A lady came in wearing a black button down shirt and hair pulled back so tightly, it looked like it hurt, "Ah, Mr. Fuentes. I have heard a lot about you. How are you feeling?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic." I replied sarcastically. She was warned about me being like this.

"So what was it this time?" She asked as she scribbled a few things down on a small clipboard.

I shrug, "Same as last time, I want to die. I hate everyone. I hate myself. There is no point in living in a world when all you want to do is die." Tay gave and a sad smile before leaving and the lady wrote some stuff down.

"Have you been taking your medications?" She asked without looking up from the paper she was scribbling on. I say yes. She nods and scribbles some more. "I think," she says when she gets done, "you need to see a therapist or someone to talk to."

I roll my eyes, "When has that ever fucking helped me?" I asked raising my voice, " Why can't I just die?" I murmured, tears rolled down my cheeks.

Her expression softened slightly, "This therapist is specially trained and has a graduate's degree in psychology. I think he'd be best for you, he's helped a lot of teens and adults that struggle."

I shook my head, "Therapists have never helped me before. I'm not going to talk to him." My mom shook her head and so did the doctor.

"You have no choice in the matter. If you are considered a threat to yourself or society, we have the right to do what we think will help. So you have no choice but to speak with Mr. Quinn until we feel you are no longer a threat to yourself." She finished and left the room. I groaned loudly and looked at my mom. It looked like she hadn't slept since she's been here. She gets up and walks over to me, "I think it is for the best Victor. I've seen his references. I can tell that he's a wonderful therapist. He just might be able to fix you."

My heart broke at the word 'fix'. He's gonna 'fix' me is he? You can't fix what isn't broken and I'm not broken. I just hate everything. I hate myself and everyone else. We'll see about him 'fixing' me. I nod at my mom. She got up and leaned over before kissing my forehead and leaving.

After an hour of talking to Tay (the nurse who monitors me because of the suicide watch) and staring at the ceiling a man walked in. I looked at him and narrowed my eyebrows, "Are you lost? I don't know you." He look maybe 18 or 19. Maybe 20 at the most. He was short and wore a white button down shirt white grey skinnies and black hair down to his shoulders.

He chuckled and shook his head, "I'm Mr. Quinn."

My jaw practically fell off, "You're fucking with me, right?" He shook his head and nodded to the nurse making her leave. He pulled up a chair and sat to wear he was about a foot away. Seeing him closer, I was only confirming what I had already though, he was hot as fuck. He had ocean greenish blue eyes and long eyelashes. He looked kind of petite and pale.

"So tell me about yourself, Victor." I shook my head, "No. I go by Vic, only mama calls my Victor. And you're gonna know everything about me by the time that I'm released, so you tell me about you."

He grins and nods, "Well moved here three years ago from San Diego. I'm an only child.. I myself have been through what you are going through, Vic."

"Then you understand how much I just want to die." I said making my voice break a little.

He nods, "Life gets better. I promise. Do you have any other questions?" He asked.

"What's your full name?" I ask curiously. He shifts and puts his legs over his other, "Kellin Quinn Bostwick. I'm 23 years old and my favorite color is green."

I smile, "There is no way you are 23. How are you 23 and have this job? Hell, you look my age."

He shrugged and sat forward a little, "It's because younger people connect with me. I tell them what I've been through and they respond with what they have been through. I've been to Hell and back my friend. My life was not perfect but here I am."

I took that in, "And you're attractive. I mean damn, I'd listen to what you had to say also." He blushed slightly, "I suppose you could say that." He said.

"I do." I reply. He sat up a little and smiled, "You're handsome as well Vic." I shrug a little and he frowns. He sighs and leans forward and wipes the tears that I didn't even know were there with his thumb.

"Do you not believe that Vic?" I shrugged again feeling more tears leak from my eyes and shook my head. "Well I'll have you know that you are very attractive." He gave me a warm and reassuring smile and I returned it as much as I could. He smiled at my attempt and gave me a hug, "I'll be back tomorrow."

I fall asleep dreaming of the day that I might succeed.