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Hand in mine, he dragged me through the wet tall grass. I couldn’t keep up, couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t make my limbs move fast enough.
"Can’t you just carry me, Zero?" I shouted between pants, but it didn’t get through. It didn’t reach him, nothing had for the last few hours. Nothing I said mattered anymore, just as long as we could get away.
My throat burnt, my lungs burnt, my muscles burnt from running for so long. The grass slapped my sides and the heavens opened. I was drenched within seconds and his grip on me slipped and I lost my footing.
He finally stopped and looked at me, saw what was happening. His hand was so cold against my cheek.
"It’ll be okay Tomo," the sound of his voice still made my pulse race even in this grim situation, "everything will work out." He pulled me to my feet by my forearm.
The sound of the vertibrids and dogs and people invaded our world. I pulled him into an embrace and buried my face against his neck as water sullied my skin, I sunk further into the mud.
__________________________________________________________________________________
One day, I don’t remember how long ago, I realised that I hated this world.
Everyone moving along and doing everything exactly as they’re supposed to, like ants. Repeating the same shit day in and day out, as though that’s all there is to do. It’s all futile, repetition is futile. Humanity has been doing the same thing since the dawn of time, only the scenery has changed.
The world beyond here, beyond the tall cold hard walls of this building is bright and full of wonder.
"Tomo Kanbara!" I winced at the shrill noise of the teacher’s voice, "stop daydreaming and get back to reality!"
__________________________________________________________________________________
"I don’t have any friends," I stated simply. My mother sighed heavily, my top lip curved into a sneer.
"Why Tomo?" She put her hands on her hips and stared me down. "Why is it so hard for you to be nice to people?" Her brows knitted.
"I don’t need friends," I mumbled my voice was stilted, neither of us believed it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"U-um, Tomo," Anna shifted her weight, standing nervously in front of my desk. "Isn’t it your birthday?" She said even though I know that she knows it’s my birthday. I nodded, eyes not leaving the tablet in front of me. "H-happy birthday," she hiccupped and scurried off to her desk.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Happy birthday Tomo," the doesn’t sound digital or monotonous like I had expected. "I understand that it is customary for humanoids to celebrate the day of their birth," his voice is smooth, light, charming and exactly the kind of voice that I like, I blink dumbly at him. "Ah, how rude of me, I haven’t introduced myself," the sound of his movements was just as quiet as the noise in my mind. He stood in front of me and took my hand in his. "I am Zero, I am an android as I am sure you are aware," and he smiled warmly.
"Eh?" I wrenched my hand away from his soft plastic hand held out in front of me, staggering back. "D-don’t touch me," I said coldly, looking out into the garden. "Where’s my mother?" Arms come from behind me and her cigarette infused hair rubbed against my cheek.
"Ah Tomo, happy birthday!" She squeezed me tightly, I restrained myself from releasing a disgruntled noise.
"What have you done mother?" I gave her a sideways glance, sneering in her direction.
"Oh don’t be so petulant," she pinched my cheek, "I made him to teach you the joys of friendship," she stepped back and addressed Zero. "Zero darling, look after my dear Tomo for me, I’ll be dining with the board of AI robotics," she said pleasantly, which grated against my nerves.
"As you wish Dr. Kanbara," Zero’s dulcet tones rattled around my head like bullets.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Soft summer sun streaked through the window and warmed my skin, he sat beside me staring at me.
"Tell me about the things that you find beautiful, Tomo," he urged.
"U-um," I swallowed, taken aback by the suddenness of the question. I looked at the sun shining high above the fluffy clouds and the azure blue sky. "Don’t you think that’s beautiful?" I turned bodily toward the window, sheets shifting under me and nodded at the sky.
"It’s not about what I think, Tomo," he said, eyes analysing the image before him. "I want to know what you find beautiful," he turned his gaze back to me.
"Well, I think it’s beautiful, the way that the light comes through the window and how warm it is," I shifted under the unwavering gaze. "The blue’s so picturesque and the clouds look so soft," I brought my eyes back to his, trying my best not to crumble under his gaze.
"What else do you find beautiful?" his soft eyes focused hard on me. The light bore against his silicone skin, shining through the translucent plastic as though he were absorbing its warmth. Gaze swimming in interest, leaning slightly toward me, his face almost too close to mine.
"White," the word escaped my mouth unconsciously. I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to suppress a blush. "It’s like hope," I said barely above a whisper.
"Then what is black?" His fingers grazed over the grey sheets as he leaned further toward me.
"I wouldn’t say it was negative, like the opposite of white," I said thoughtfully and paused for a while. "it’s a freeing emptiness, oblivion," I murmured staring deeply into his pupils.
"Oblivion is destruction," he stated blandly.
"Black holes are beautiful," the pads of my fingers caught at the sheets, "it’s the general consensus that most destructive forces are beautiful. People like the bittersweet, yearning. People prefer the chase, that’s why the stories always end when the chase is over because everything after that is dull," a string of consciousness mumbled slowly as I twisted the sheets in my hand.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Why are you following me around?" I groaned feet upon the stairs.
"Your mother ordered me to look after you," Zero stated, expression flat.
"I’m not a child, I can do things without supervision," I said tightly, toes curling over the edge of the steps.
"That first statement is untrue, legally you’re still a child," he droned, "and I want to observe you," his clinically white fingers skirted over the hand rail as Zero ascended the stairs. "From what I understand people become friends through spending time together and sharing experiences," he stopped right in front of me, fingers centimetres from mine.
"People usually become friends because they’re interested in similar things and enjoy each other’s company," I scowled at him, the joke of a present from my mother. I can’t make proper friends so she designed one for me, what a joke.
"And finding those things out takes time, don’t figure me for a fool Tomo," Zero’s brows came together, the mechanism moved smoothly under the silicone. My eyes widened, I went to take a step back and instead fell on my backside.
__________________________________________________________________________________
The night was suffocating, the sheets stuck to my skin and I groaned in frustration throwing the covers off the bed. His silence was deafening as he settled at the end of my bed, the suddenness made my pulse jump.
"It would be more optimal if you removed a layer of clothing and had a thin blanket, in order to regulate your temperature," Zero folded the previously thrown cover in his lap.
"Couldn’t you move more noisily," I dug my fingers into my chest.
"I apologise if I frightened you Tomo," Zero said as he stared at me, objective eyes boring into my own. He set the covers aside and moved up the bed to sit beside me.
"W-why are you even in my room?" I stammered despite myself, his proximity had a way of cowing me.
"Your breathing was laboured, I was worried," his head tilted toward me, "your breathing is still laboured, would you like a glass of cool water Tomo?" Zero’s voice was soft and polite.
"Worry is akin to fear, is an emotion. There are people out there that would dispute the credibility of your emotions," I was running away, hiding behind my words.
"Are you one of those people Tomo?" Even though it was a question Zero didn’t allow me the time to reply. "Or are you disputing the credibility of your emotions toward me," his fingers came to my foot with the intention of removing my sock, I jolted backward.
"Get out of my room," I said darkly.
"Petulance is unbecoming," Zero said flatly as he left the room.
__________________________________________________________________________________
“Petulance is unbecoming," I mimicked staring at my face twisting in the mirror before I spat out the tooth paste into the sparse metal sink. I almost screamed, jumped out of my skin as I rose and saw none other than Zero standing behind me. "Don’t do that!" I barked turning toward him, heart slamming against my chest.
"What are you referring to?" said Zero calmly, face unmoving from its impassive visage.
"Sneaking up on me," I stated, Zero’s face remained unchanged. "You did that on purpose didn’t you?" I frowned as Zero tilted his head like a dog.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Can’t you just carry me, Zero?" I shouted between pants, but it didn’t get through. It didn’t reach him, nothing had for the last few hours. Nothing I said mattered anymore, just as long as we could get away.
My throat burnt, my lungs burnt, my muscles burnt from running for so long. The grass slapped my sides and the heavens opened. I was drenched within seconds and his grip on me slipped and I lost my footing.
He finally stopped and looked at me, saw what was happening. His hand was so cold against my cheek.
"It’ll be okay Tomo," the sound of his voice still made my pulse race even in this grim situation, "everything will work out." He pulled me to my feet by my forearm.
The sound of the vertibrids and dogs and people invaded our world. I pulled him into an embrace and buried my face against his neck as water sullied my skin, I sunk further into the mud.
__________________________________________________________________________________
One day, I don’t remember how long ago, I realised that I hated this world.
Everyone moving along and doing everything exactly as they’re supposed to, like ants. Repeating the same shit day in and day out, as though that’s all there is to do. It’s all futile, repetition is futile. Humanity has been doing the same thing since the dawn of time, only the scenery has changed.
The world beyond here, beyond the tall cold hard walls of this building is bright and full of wonder.
"Tomo Kanbara!" I winced at the shrill noise of the teacher’s voice, "stop daydreaming and get back to reality!"
__________________________________________________________________________________
"I don’t have any friends," I stated simply. My mother sighed heavily, my top lip curved into a sneer.
"Why Tomo?" She put her hands on her hips and stared me down. "Why is it so hard for you to be nice to people?" Her brows knitted.
"I don’t need friends," I mumbled my voice was stilted, neither of us believed it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"U-um, Tomo," Anna shifted her weight, standing nervously in front of my desk. "Isn’t it your birthday?" She said even though I know that she knows it’s my birthday. I nodded, eyes not leaving the tablet in front of me. "H-happy birthday," she hiccupped and scurried off to her desk.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Happy birthday Tomo," the doesn’t sound digital or monotonous like I had expected. "I understand that it is customary for humanoids to celebrate the day of their birth," his voice is smooth, light, charming and exactly the kind of voice that I like, I blink dumbly at him. "Ah, how rude of me, I haven’t introduced myself," the sound of his movements was just as quiet as the noise in my mind. He stood in front of me and took my hand in his. "I am Zero, I am an android as I am sure you are aware," and he smiled warmly.
"Eh?" I wrenched my hand away from his soft plastic hand held out in front of me, staggering back. "D-don’t touch me," I said coldly, looking out into the garden. "Where’s my mother?" Arms come from behind me and her cigarette infused hair rubbed against my cheek.
"Ah Tomo, happy birthday!" She squeezed me tightly, I restrained myself from releasing a disgruntled noise.
"What have you done mother?" I gave her a sideways glance, sneering in her direction.
"Oh don’t be so petulant," she pinched my cheek, "I made him to teach you the joys of friendship," she stepped back and addressed Zero. "Zero darling, look after my dear Tomo for me, I’ll be dining with the board of AI robotics," she said pleasantly, which grated against my nerves.
"As you wish Dr. Kanbara," Zero’s dulcet tones rattled around my head like bullets.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Soft summer sun streaked through the window and warmed my skin, he sat beside me staring at me.
"Tell me about the things that you find beautiful, Tomo," he urged.
"U-um," I swallowed, taken aback by the suddenness of the question. I looked at the sun shining high above the fluffy clouds and the azure blue sky. "Don’t you think that’s beautiful?" I turned bodily toward the window, sheets shifting under me and nodded at the sky.
"It’s not about what I think, Tomo," he said, eyes analysing the image before him. "I want to know what you find beautiful," he turned his gaze back to me.
"Well, I think it’s beautiful, the way that the light comes through the window and how warm it is," I shifted under the unwavering gaze. "The blue’s so picturesque and the clouds look so soft," I brought my eyes back to his, trying my best not to crumble under his gaze.
"What else do you find beautiful?" his soft eyes focused hard on me. The light bore against his silicone skin, shining through the translucent plastic as though he were absorbing its warmth. Gaze swimming in interest, leaning slightly toward me, his face almost too close to mine.
"White," the word escaped my mouth unconsciously. I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to suppress a blush. "It’s like hope," I said barely above a whisper.
"Then what is black?" His fingers grazed over the grey sheets as he leaned further toward me.
"I wouldn’t say it was negative, like the opposite of white," I said thoughtfully and paused for a while. "it’s a freeing emptiness, oblivion," I murmured staring deeply into his pupils.
"Oblivion is destruction," he stated blandly.
"Black holes are beautiful," the pads of my fingers caught at the sheets, "it’s the general consensus that most destructive forces are beautiful. People like the bittersweet, yearning. People prefer the chase, that’s why the stories always end when the chase is over because everything after that is dull," a string of consciousness mumbled slowly as I twisted the sheets in my hand.
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Why are you following me around?" I groaned feet upon the stairs.
"Your mother ordered me to look after you," Zero stated, expression flat.
"I’m not a child, I can do things without supervision," I said tightly, toes curling over the edge of the steps.
"That first statement is untrue, legally you’re still a child," he droned, "and I want to observe you," his clinically white fingers skirted over the hand rail as Zero ascended the stairs. "From what I understand people become friends through spending time together and sharing experiences," he stopped right in front of me, fingers centimetres from mine.
"People usually become friends because they’re interested in similar things and enjoy each other’s company," I scowled at him, the joke of a present from my mother. I can’t make proper friends so she designed one for me, what a joke.
"And finding those things out takes time, don’t figure me for a fool Tomo," Zero’s brows came together, the mechanism moved smoothly under the silicone. My eyes widened, I went to take a step back and instead fell on my backside.
__________________________________________________________________________________
The night was suffocating, the sheets stuck to my skin and I groaned in frustration throwing the covers off the bed. His silence was deafening as he settled at the end of my bed, the suddenness made my pulse jump.
"It would be more optimal if you removed a layer of clothing and had a thin blanket, in order to regulate your temperature," Zero folded the previously thrown cover in his lap.
"Couldn’t you move more noisily," I dug my fingers into my chest.
"I apologise if I frightened you Tomo," Zero said as he stared at me, objective eyes boring into my own. He set the covers aside and moved up the bed to sit beside me.
"W-why are you even in my room?" I stammered despite myself, his proximity had a way of cowing me.
"Your breathing was laboured, I was worried," his head tilted toward me, "your breathing is still laboured, would you like a glass of cool water Tomo?" Zero’s voice was soft and polite.
"Worry is akin to fear, is an emotion. There are people out there that would dispute the credibility of your emotions," I was running away, hiding behind my words.
"Are you one of those people Tomo?" Even though it was a question Zero didn’t allow me the time to reply. "Or are you disputing the credibility of your emotions toward me," his fingers came to my foot with the intention of removing my sock, I jolted backward.
"Get out of my room," I said darkly.
"Petulance is unbecoming," Zero said flatly as he left the room.
__________________________________________________________________________________
“Petulance is unbecoming," I mimicked staring at my face twisting in the mirror before I spat out the tooth paste into the sparse metal sink. I almost screamed, jumped out of my skin as I rose and saw none other than Zero standing behind me. "Don’t do that!" I barked turning toward him, heart slamming against my chest.
"What are you referring to?" said Zero calmly, face unmoving from its impassive visage.
"Sneaking up on me," I stated, Zero’s face remained unchanged. "You did that on purpose didn’t you?" I frowned as Zero tilted his head like a dog.
__________________________________________________________________________________