Sequel: Colours ›
Carry on Like You're Supposed to Be
dix.
"Alexa, can you please just talk to me?" Kyle banged on the door of the bathroom I was currently hiding in.
"Alexa's not here right now; she's too busy breaking commitments." I kicked the door, trying to show him I wasn't in the mood to fight him about this.
"Holy shit, Alexa, get over yourself! Just talk to me, we can work this out." He persisted, and I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see.
"You obviously didn't want to work this out last night, Kyle. Please, just leave." I leaned my head against the wall and rubbed my eyes.
"This isn't fair. You can't just do this to me every time. I'm making an effort this time, and you're the one who doesn't want to fix things. Maybe, just maybe, I don't want to be with someone so inconstant. I'm upset too, but it doesn't mean that you have to block the world out, Alexa. Things will get better sometime, if you just let them."
"You know, Kyle, when we first kissed, something in my head told me not to, that you were trouble or something. But I pushed past that, because I thought, that possibly, you were different than some of the other guys I've dated. And now, I'm starting to wish that I had never 'started over' with you, and that I had held my first impression of you with me forever. My life would be a lot simpler like that."
"That's not true, Alexa, and you know it. You know that I helped you through maybe one of the toughest times in your life. I don't regret what we've done. I just wish you could forget this and move on." I heard him lean against the door.
"Don't count on it, Kyle. I may have messed up, but you said some nasty shit to me."
"Does Caleb even know that you drank?" I didn't say anything. "Do you really think that he would let you stay here if he knew that? He's going to figure out your upset at me, and I'm going to get shit for it. Which is great, 'cause really, that's what I want from Caleb, more shit." I was silent after that.
"Okay, well, I have to go. But, when you come to your senses and realize how much you really do need me, I'll be here." I heard the front door shut and slumped against the wall, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
I sat there, for what seemed like hours, and just stared into space. I didn't think, I didn't feel. I was just there.
"Alexa? Where are you?" I heard Caleb's voice say. I got up and opened the door, to see him standing right there in the hallway.
"Hey, Caleb." I smiled weakly and he hugged me. I patted his back awkwardly and he pulled away.
"So, I know you're upset and probably don't want to talk about it, but... Why did you move out of Kyle's and Marc's?" He pulled me over to the couch-bed and we sat down.
"You're right; I don't want to talk about it." I was about to get up, when I realized I had nowhere to be. I was off work until next month, as they were giving me 'recovery time'.
"Did I give you a choice?" Caleb asked me, and I sighed. "That's what I thought. So, what did Kyle do?"
"It's not... What Kyle did, it's more like... What I did to provoke Kyle into doing what Kyle did."
"Maybe... possibly, hopefully, you could skip the evasions and just tell me?"
"Okay, well, I got out of the hospital, and Kyle was gone. And, God, Caleb, I was so upset. You wouldn't even imagine how upset and confused I was. So... I searched the cupboards for a drink... and I found one. And then Kyle walked in... and, he said he was going to that goddamned party and he was going to sleep with another girl since I could break my commitments. And I just got so upset and nearly a whole pack and a half of those beers, and then I went to find Kyle to make sure he wasn't doing what he said he would... and, and... and he was making out with Savanna, and if I hadn't had come when I did they would have definitely been in bed together in a matter of minutes." I let one tear drop down my cheek and Caleb put his arm around me.
"I really... don't know what to say." He said simply and I nodded my head.
"I'm sorry, Caleb, for drinking. I really am trying. I really am." I repeated the last three words over and over in a whisper as we sat there.
"Alexa's not here right now; she's too busy breaking commitments." I kicked the door, trying to show him I wasn't in the mood to fight him about this.
"Holy shit, Alexa, get over yourself! Just talk to me, we can work this out." He persisted, and I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see.
"You obviously didn't want to work this out last night, Kyle. Please, just leave." I leaned my head against the wall and rubbed my eyes.
"This isn't fair. You can't just do this to me every time. I'm making an effort this time, and you're the one who doesn't want to fix things. Maybe, just maybe, I don't want to be with someone so inconstant. I'm upset too, but it doesn't mean that you have to block the world out, Alexa. Things will get better sometime, if you just let them."
"You know, Kyle, when we first kissed, something in my head told me not to, that you were trouble or something. But I pushed past that, because I thought, that possibly, you were different than some of the other guys I've dated. And now, I'm starting to wish that I had never 'started over' with you, and that I had held my first impression of you with me forever. My life would be a lot simpler like that."
"That's not true, Alexa, and you know it. You know that I helped you through maybe one of the toughest times in your life. I don't regret what we've done. I just wish you could forget this and move on." I heard him lean against the door.
"Don't count on it, Kyle. I may have messed up, but you said some nasty shit to me."
"Does Caleb even know that you drank?" I didn't say anything. "Do you really think that he would let you stay here if he knew that? He's going to figure out your upset at me, and I'm going to get shit for it. Which is great, 'cause really, that's what I want from Caleb, more shit." I was silent after that.
"Okay, well, I have to go. But, when you come to your senses and realize how much you really do need me, I'll be here." I heard the front door shut and slumped against the wall, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
I sat there, for what seemed like hours, and just stared into space. I didn't think, I didn't feel. I was just there.
"Alexa? Where are you?" I heard Caleb's voice say. I got up and opened the door, to see him standing right there in the hallway.
"Hey, Caleb." I smiled weakly and he hugged me. I patted his back awkwardly and he pulled away.
"So, I know you're upset and probably don't want to talk about it, but... Why did you move out of Kyle's and Marc's?" He pulled me over to the couch-bed and we sat down.
"You're right; I don't want to talk about it." I was about to get up, when I realized I had nowhere to be. I was off work until next month, as they were giving me 'recovery time'.
"Did I give you a choice?" Caleb asked me, and I sighed. "That's what I thought. So, what did Kyle do?"
"It's not... What Kyle did, it's more like... What I did to provoke Kyle into doing what Kyle did."
"Maybe... possibly, hopefully, you could skip the evasions and just tell me?"
"Okay, well, I got out of the hospital, and Kyle was gone. And, God, Caleb, I was so upset. You wouldn't even imagine how upset and confused I was. So... I searched the cupboards for a drink... and I found one. And then Kyle walked in... and, he said he was going to that goddamned party and he was going to sleep with another girl since I could break my commitments. And I just got so upset and nearly a whole pack and a half of those beers, and then I went to find Kyle to make sure he wasn't doing what he said he would... and, and... and he was making out with Savanna, and if I hadn't had come when I did they would have definitely been in bed together in a matter of minutes." I let one tear drop down my cheek and Caleb put his arm around me.
"I really... don't know what to say." He said simply and I nodded my head.
"I'm sorry, Caleb, for drinking. I really am trying. I really am." I repeated the last three words over and over in a whisper as we sat there.
♠ ♠ ♠
la, la, la, la, la. la, la, la, la, la.im reading ttyl. i kinda wanna have alexa have like an msn chat with something. it would be weird. i like weird.
lets get fucked up and die.