Carry on Like You're Supposed to Be

"Oh my god Caleb. It's torture here! They have us on these tight ropes, on what we can and can't do, when people can visit, when we can eat. It's horrible." I complained to Caleb over the phone.

"Alexa, it should get better. You've only been there for five days." I could hear the smile in his voice even though I couldn't see it.

"Yeah, I'm sure, 'Just go along with that they tell you to do, and you'll be out in no time!'. I'll be out in four weeks, like everyone else, Caleb. This is so not worth the time and money." I mused, wrapping the curly cord around my fingers.

"But that way it'll be a smoother ride." He pointed out and I sighed.

"Caleb, I love you and all, but you're not that good of a convincer. If you were a lawyer and I was a judge, I'd totally rule the court against your favour."

"You're so weird. Maybe I should call in and ask them to help you with that too?"

"Okay! But then you have to start therapy, because I have a feeling you're confused about your sexuality. Are you sure you're not gay?" I knew that he would be rolling his eyes at that moment. I heard him start to say something, but just then someone came in the door and started walking over to me. "I have to go, Caleb. I'll talk to you soon." I hung up and turned towards the ever-bubbly Rachel.

"Hey, Alexa! How are you?" She asked as she sat down, all smiles. Sometimes, I wondered how she stayed so happy.

"I can definitely say I've been in better places." I sighed.

"Oh, withdrawal, I get it." She nodded as if she knew all about it.

"No, it's not withdrawal or anything. I've gone through that enough, and that's not it." I shook my head.

"Alright..." Rachel looked at me as if she wanted me to describe how I was feeling, and I simply shrugged.

"I just feel like... something's missing."

"Sweetie, I'm pretty sure that's withdrawal." She patted my shoulder and I shook my head again.

"No, it's like, painful. But not physically, more mentally. Like when somebody dies, it hurts you inside, but not your insides, you know?" I looked into her eyes, hoping for her to understand what I was talking about.

"I can't say I do." My face fell, "But if it makes you feel any better, I brought candy!"

"They let you bring that stuff in?" My eyes widened as she withdrew three clear plastic bags from her purse.

"Uh, well... No." She handed them to me. One was filled with sour watermelons, one filled with malteasers, and the other with gummy worms.

"You're my life. I'm going to go pig out now." I grinned like a child on Halloween and hugged Rachel goodbye. I then smuggled the bags of candy to the room I shared with a quiet girl, named Jiselle.

"Want some?" I said as I chewed a blue and red gummy worm and held the bag out towards her. She just furrowed her eyebrows, and shook her head. I was about to tie up the bag when she snatched one quickly.

"Umm, okay... Just wondering, do you ever talk? Or have you like, taken a vow of silence? Because, I'm not gonna bite you, I'm relatively harmless." I smiled at her and she looked up at me with wide eyes. (A.N: imagine edward scissorhands :D)

"Yeah, I talk, just... not to you." I smiled and laughed a bit.

"You're a funny one. We're going to be good friends, you and I." She smiled at me tentatively, and when I grinned at her, she seemed to let go a bit more.

"I... guess so, yeah?" She raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Mhm, because really, we're gonna be stuck here for awhile. Might as well make some friends while we stay right?" She nodded and I smiled again.