Carry on Like You're Supposed to Be

"You!" I pointed at her and narrowed my eyes. She smiled lazily.

"Alexaaaaaa, how nice to see you!" She got up drunkenly and walked around Kyle over to me, her arms spread wide for a hug.

"Don't fucking touch me." I spat, and she looked taken aback.

"Why? Aren't we friends? Good ole buddies! Pals?" She slurred, smiling widely again at me.

"No..." I shook my head, as if to say 'what an idiot'. Kyle was staring up at me, looking confused.

"You know her?" He pointed to Savanna, who was frowning.

"Oh, yeah. She's just the girl who made Stefan kill himself." I said venomously, or as venomously as possible, what with my current state.

"Oh - oh my god." Kyle's eyes widened. Savanna's eyes had narrowed.

"I made him kill himself? Why, because he wasn't the greatest boyfriend? C'mon, Alexa. If you had been there, he would still be with us. It's not my fault - it's yours." She smirked at me, knowing she had gotten to me. I felt the tears sting my eyes.

"No, no. You're wrong. If you - if you had stayed with him... he would be fine. I would be fine." I breathed, desperately trying to keep myself from sobbing.

"You know, he blamed himself for everything wrong that happened to you, too. If you had been able to stay out of trouble..." She trailed off, still smirking. I shook my head and turned on my heel. I was surprised, that even when drunk, she could be so mean. And by that time, the tears were coming down hard. I didn't turn my head to look at Kyle. I didn't ever want to look at him again.

Instead, I ran back to his house, and called Caleb again, asking him to pick me up and bring me to his apartment. I gathered all my clothes that were strewn around Kyle's room, and put them in plastic grocery bags. I then hauled them down to the front door, and waited for Caleb to arrive.

Five minutes later, there was a knock. I opened the door, and shoved two of the bags in Caleb's hands, and grabbed the other three. We loaded them into his car and I sat in the front seat, still crying.

"Alexa, what's wrong?" He repeated the question he had tried to ask on the phone before I had hung up on him for the second time that night.

"Nothing... I just... had a run in with... someone." I sniffed and wiped my eyes, praying for the new set of tears I could sense coming not to fall.

"Who? Who made you cry, Alexa?" We were at a red light, and Caleb was staring at me concernedly.

"S-Savanna..." I hoped that some of the alcohol had worn off, so that by the time I stopped crying, Caleb wouldn't be able to tell I was drunk.

"Who's she?"

"The girl who broke up with S-stef-stefan... she said it was m-m-my faul-t-t that he... h-he..." The tears spilled over once again. Caleb didn't answer.

Six minutes and 104 tears later, we arrived at his apartment building. He helped me carry the bags into his apartment and pulled out the couch into a bed. He grabbed blankets and pillows, and tucked me into bed, like a parent would to a child.

"Good night, Alexa. And don't believe what other people say. It's all bull-shit, anyways." He kissed my forehead like our mother used to when I was 7, and turned out the living-area's lights. I sniffed once, and again, and closed my eyes.

Eventually, I settled into an uneven, light sleep, dreaming of Kyle's lips on hers.