Collateral Damage

I didn't want to move.

Laying on my back, among my soft, navy duvet and rose tinted sheets, I was content with staying there all day. I couldn't do that, though. I couldn't do that because today was homecoming and I had approximately six hours or so before Dalton and I would be lined up with our friends on the beach boardwalk, snapping pictures. My black one-sleeved dress stared my in the face from across the room and a sigh escaped my lips.

I felt sick.

Pushing myself from the sheets, I sprinted across my room and emptied the contents of last night's partially-digested meal into the porcelain bowl. Dalton had all but shoved a burger from Crumble's down my throat in his excitement over the win after a little birdie had told him that I hadn't been eating like I should. That little birdie being my mother he had taken it upon himself, like everyone else, to make sure I was eating.

I gripped my hair at the roots, pulling it back into a sloppy bun. When I straightened my back, I brushed my teeth. My sweatpants hung loose on my hips, the top of my hipbones just barely visible. The black t shirt I wore had the words 'Mariana's Trench'. In my defense, it was the first thing I had grabbed from my dresser. Dark grey bruises had made a home under my blue eyes from lack of a good night's rest since the night I slapped Ashton, my cheeks sunken in from how absolutely awful I had been feeling the last few days altogether.

"Charlotte Elizabeth! Come eat!" Mom's voice called up the stairs and I sighed.

I didn't want to eat.

I wasn't hungry.

I, begrudgingly, walked down the stairs. The boys, Ashton included, were all sitting at the table and shoving spoonfuls of food past their lips. "You'd think we were taking care of strays," I sneered, unapologetic that I had awoken with a shitty attitude. They spent more time at my house than the did at their own home, I swear. Hazel eyes met mine and I scowled. He was asking for it, really. Go to hell, Irwin. Mom shot me a warning look and I yanked open the fridge door in search of fruit.

"I made french toast and grits, Charlotte. There's also left over pizza in the fridge."

"And?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm having a fruit smoothie."

"That's not a proper meal, Charlotte."

Sure it was. I wanted to argue back, but I wasn't going to do this in front of him. I maneuvered around her and pulled the blender out roughly. I'll have whatever the hell I want for breakfast. I was eating, wasn't that enough? Strawberries, pineapple and banana. I made a show of slicing up the phallic-shaped fruit while I felt a heated hazel gaze on my back. Fuck you Irwin.

"Eat something filling, Lo," Luke's voice pleaded as I filled my glass with the green liquid. The spinach bled into the whole drink, always making it a sickly green. Sometimes, when too many strawberries were added, they would turn the drink a light, unappetizing brown, so I always had to make sure I had the right amount of everything in the blender. I turned away and stomped up the stairs, stopping at the top as I heart Luke's voice again. "I thought she was getting better..." He sounded defeated and it tore me apart. With a sigh, I looked down at the smoothie as guilt gnashed its nasty teeth in the pit of my stomach.

I'd make up for it at dinner.

After changing into a pair of Nike shorts and a button up, I made my way back downstairs with my dress in hand, along with my shoes and jewelry. "See you at the Sam's Seafood Shack at five, Mom?" Her sad gaze met mine and she nodded. I bit my lip as I exited the warmth of the house and walked across the lawn to Gracie's car that had only been there for a few short minutes. "Hey, loser," her face lit up with a cheeky smile and she shoved her phone under her leg. Weird.

"Hey! Ready to go get all Barbie-dolled up?" I laughed at her choice of words but nodded nonetheless, excited to get the day started and over with.

Finally, at three in the afternoon, we were both done with our hair, make up nails and were slipping into our dresses. Gracie's hair was curled and braided into a waterfall braid, her make up light and flawless and her nails had been painted a light pink, french style. My hair was all pushed to one shoulder, make up dark with gold accents, and my nails had been painted black with gold flecked throughout the polish.

I zipped up Gracie's light pink dress and she returned the favor with my black dress. "I love you, you know that?" I put my hands on her shoulders, staring at her as she nodded. "And if anything happens tonight, with Luke, I won't be mad about it. It's senior year. If he makes you happy then I am one hundred and fifty percent on the Gruke ship." Her mouth curled up in a smile and she scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Gruke sounds gross. I like Lucie better."

It was my turn to scrunch up her nose and she laughed, light and airy. "No, you're right. Lucie is better." We giggled together as we slipped into our heels, silence flooding between us comfortably.

"You know I love you too, right?" I lifted my eyes to hers from my seat on her bed. "Just how you are. You are so pretty, Lottie." I didn't flinch this time and she smiled, noticing. "And for what it's worth, you've got Anna Locks beat." At those words my heart soared and I swear Gracie could see it, because a look of realization crossed her features. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it back.

What was there to say, after all? I was a high school senior, struggling through life with the deep-rooted fact that I'd never be good enough for the one person who once meant something to me and now, even if he had started to see me as someone actually worth his time, I wouldn't be able to be with him. I had a reputation to uphold. Constantly between a rock and a hard place.

A horn sounded outside and, together, we walked out to Dalton's truck. He was supposed to drop Gracie off with Luke and the boys and then he and I would go meet our friends at the boardwalk. It was going to be awkward, not having Gracie at my side, but I would have to get over it. "Oh, Luke's boutineer!" Gracie piped and did an about-face. "I'll be right back!"

Dalton was out of his truck immediately, eyeing me up and down with a look of admiration. "Damn, you look gorgeous baby girl," his twang rang through and I felt my cheeks flush, nervously pulling the dead skin from my bottom lip with my front white teeth. He took my hand and brought a plastic container out from behind him, a corsage within. I gaped at the beauty of it and he just smiled, knicking my jaw with a knuckle playfully.

"Dalt..." I started but he already had the wristlet stretched and soon slipped it across my hand. His boutineer hung lamely in my other hand, nowhere near as beautiful as the shining gold against matte black of my corsage. "It's so beautiful," his face with lit up with a smile and I wrapped my arms around his neck, his own snaking around my waist. He looked so good. Black slacks, black button up and a gold tie that brought out the flecks of gold swimming in his irises.

This was what I needed. Dalton Lawson. Independent, strong, sweet. I knew that, yet my mind still trailed to Ashton for a moment. Unreliable, vulgar, a total knob and... and understanding when he wanted to be, bold but brash with his opinions, like the time he didn't sugar coat the fact I looked fat in my dress for the seventh grade spring dance. This had led to me running into my bedroom while Ben and Jack explained to him that he couldn't stay things like that to a girl while my mother comforted me. I still had the awful green dress handing in the furthest corner of my closet. I bet it'd fit now, despite being a little short.

"-ay, Char?" Gracie stood in front of me while I held onto Dalton, still in an embrace. Her face was one of concern and I pulled away, the air cooling the tear tracks down my face. I quickly wiped my cheeks, hands shaky, and apologized to them both. Dalton just smiled and shook his head.

"It's okay, babe, I'm glad you like it so much." Despite that not being the reason I was crying, I nodded and kissed his cheek before I put his boutineer on the right side of his shirt. "She just got a little over emotional at the corsage," he had directed his comment to Gracie and I could tell that she didn't buy it.

"Uh-huh," she nodded slowly, regardless, and Dalton helped us both into the truck, though Gracie claimed she could get it herself. Her heel then proceeded to get stuck on the running board and Dalton had laughed, rather cruelly, as he helped her. She scowled at me, as if to tell me she was just as upset with the fact we weren't going to be spending the night together as I was.

Our hands were pressed tightly together as Dalton drove us to where Luke and his friends wanted to meet and when we pulled up, Dalton flung his door open. I shot him a look, as if to ask where he was going, but my question was answered silently when his face appeared in the passenger side window. I decided to stay in my seat, not wanting my parents to see me just yet, and leaned into her for a hug. I don't know why, but it was suddenly hard to let go. Gracie leaned away finally and we sighed, Dalton helping her step onto the ground below.

I watched, partly relieved yet displaced, as Luke's eyes, which were the only physical trait we shared between the two of us, lit up. His light pink tie contrasted against the grey fabric of his button up and even from my seat I could see that he had replaced his black lip ring for a glimmering silver. I took a deep breath. No matter what, I was going to be okay.

Dalton clambered back into the seat beside me, eyes alit with anger, and when I followed his gaze, my eyes danced over a curly-headed form. His long fingers were rested on a lithe form's barely-there hip as I only imagined his knuckles being white with how tight he was holding her.

I scrutinized her dress in secret as we slowly rolled away. The shade of red clashed with her pale skin, which was not dark enough for the close-to-orange shade of the dress. Along with that, she wore a pair of Vans. Vans for Christ's sake. I couldn't help the pretentious scoff that left my lips.