Collateral Damage

"Charlie, Charlotte, Charlie~," I voice sang, my head flat against the pillow under me. Thanks for waking me from my nap, douche. Luke was shaking my shoulder in a feeble attempt to wake me up. I sat up, stretching, and looked up at him while I pulled my glasses over my eyes. He was green. His arms and legs were covered in green fabric and fake muscles, a shell design on the front and an inflatable turtle shell on the back. Wait, did he really dress up? Gaping at him, I quickly covered my mouth to stifle a laugh. "Don't laugh! I'm doing this for Calum!" Yeah, good defense.

"Are all of you boys doing it?" He nodded and I let out a loud laugh. That meant Ashton would be dressed up too. "What do you need?"

"Can you zip this up and tie this mask on me?" I nodded and swung my legs to the edge of the bed to stand up, my stomach grumbling in protest. I had to get over that ache, but it hurt so much sometimes. I zipped his costume up in the back and took his mask from him to tie it around his eyes.

When I was done, he turned back around to face me, a hand on the back of his neck. "Look, Char..." I raised an eyebrow and he worriedly looked at me. "Could I ask Gracie to homecoming?" I cocked an eyebrow, scowling. Although I wanted them happy, there was a chance that Gracie would reject Luke and then he'd end up upset. "I won't make it public or anything, I swear. Besides, it's a masquerade dance and no one will really know. I just really want to go with her." I smiled weakly, ruffling my fingers through his quiffed hair.

"Sure," his eyes lit up, "-but I can't guarantee she'll say yes." A new expression shot across his face and he smirked playfully, as if he knew something I didn't. He wrapped his lanky arms around me in a bear hug and leaned back, lifting me off the ground just a little, a squeak of surprise leaving my lips. He held my close for a few seconds longer than I thought he would before setting me back down.

"I love you Lo," his grin lit up his face and, past the shock, I rolled my eyes and gave him a shove.

"I love you too Lu," he left my bedroom and I felt my bottom lip quiver. That had been the first hug my brother had given me in two years. Taking a deep, shaky breath I straightened my back and slipped on my Wonder Woman outfit, working my hair into big, bouncy curls. My phone beeped and I noticed the message from Dalton. I brushed my teeth, grabbed my bag and hurried downstairs, past the breakfast on the counter. "You can use the car, Luke," I tossed him the shared pair of keys.

"Eat, Lo," my mom was staring at me over her newspaper. I looked at the bacon and biscuits on the counter, nibbling my bottom lip.

"Dalton and I are stopping for breakfast," I lied smoothly and her eyebrows stayed at her hairline.

"One biscuit," she urged and I groaned, wrapping two biscuits in a paper towel with intent to get some to Dalton. "Love you, baby girl." I kissed her cheek, then my dad's and hurried out the door to Dalton's truck. The door opened before I got to it and he eyed me up and down, playfully. I flushed and he helped me in the truck, pulling me into the middle seat and almost his lap.

His breath cascaded down my neck and I shivered, my lip caught between my teeth. "You look good enough to eat, Char," his voice was low, gruff, enough to curl your toes. I pushed him away softly and rolled my eyes. "The windows are tinted, baby." His nose was in my hair, eyes barely paying attention to the road. "We can have some fun before first hour," I shivered again and shook my head.

"No, Dalton. Thursday."

"I hate planning this stuff. Nobody else does that." He was suddenly angry, hand gripping the steering wheel. "Why can't it just happen?" I glowered, nails in my legs.

"Well I'm sorry that I don't want to walk around, freshly fucked." He winced at the word. Although he wouldn't admit it, he had never referred to it as 'fucking' with me. It was either sex or making love. At first, it was weird for me because I didn't love him the very first time we did it. Or the second. Third. Forth. His hand slammed against the steering wheel as he pulled into the parking lot. "We both have schedules that we have to stick to. You have football and I have cheer every day after school, except Thursday, and on the weekends you're always too drunk to do anything. It's always sloppy on the weekends, so I stick to Thursday.

He pulled at his hair and growled. "Just- why can't we be spontaneous sometimes Charlotte?" I gaped, staring into his eyes. He wanted spontaneity? Fine.

"Drive."

"What?"

"I said drive, dammit."



When we got back, the biscuits had been smashed into the floor of the car and Dalton wore a shit-eating grin. We had missed first and second period, but I honestly didn't care at the moment. I adjusted my tights and crossed my arms, watching after him as he walked to class. A hand touched my hair and I flinched, realizing it was Gracie and relaxing. "Nice hair," she snorted and I glowered at her. "What happened?

"He wanted spontaneity, so I gave it to him." Gracie gaped, assumptions as to what I meant crossing her mind.

"You mean you-" I nodded. "And he-" I nodded again. "How was it?" At that I shrugged. "Did you?" I shook my head quickly, not wanting to talk about that fact. "I'll make you brownies." she winked and we laughed together. "You look cute though. Can you tell who I am?" She spun, in a lab coat and fake glasses and I shrugged at her.

"A mad scietest?" I grinned. "You look cute too, though."

"I'm April O'Neil! From the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Luke told me to dress up like this, I don't know why, but I did anyway." Realization quickly crossed her features and she looked up at me. "I mean-"

I bit my lip and shrugged, "I already told you I didn't care." I cared a little. I didn't want Gracie to regret her decisions and I didn't want my brother hurt. It was a hard situation. She nodded and we walked into the classroom.

I felt weird, sitting in class after doing that with Dalton. Spontaneity was nice, and maybe if I had the same good time he did, then I wouldn't mind. I'm pretty sure the only time he was able to get me off was after winning districts last year. I pushed the thought out of my mind, suddenly feeling disgusted with myself. I asked for a pass to the bathroom and practically ran, flinging open the stall door and falling to my knees in front of the toilet. Nothing but liquid came back up, which made it even worse, as I wasn't relieved of the nausea.

I sniffled, tears gracing my cheeks as I leaned against the public toilet and closed my eyes. I barely heard footsteps enter the bathroom, or the name calling my name. The stall door opened, as I hadn't locked it, and I looked weakly at the form standing above me. "What the hell, Lo?" An arm encircled the backs of my legs and my neck, lifting me from the ground. I just felt so weak. I nuzzled my face into their t shirt and they stiffened slightly, their fingers tightening against me as they continued to walk.

"Oh my God, what happened?" I heard a second voice and looked over weakly, barely spying the school nurse's form. She and I had spent a good amount of time together during sophomore year when I had to come and take daily medication at lunch every day.

"She was practically passed out in the bathroom." That voice was so comforting. A cushion met my back as I was laid down. "I don't think she's eaten recently. There was literally nothing coming up." God, whoever you are I am so so sorry. That's disgusting and you shouldn't have seen that. The nurse thanked him, I assumed a him because of the cologne he was wearing, and tended to me, a cold compress soon on my forehead. I heard her as she called my mom, talking to her and assuring her I would be okay, that I was just a little dehydrated. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't open my eyes, so instead, I let sleep take over.



A hand ran through my hair, pushing it off of my face. I smiled in my sleep, grumbling aloud. I opened my eyes slowly, seeing three lanky, green bodies and a lab coat. This was one hell of a dream. Slowly coming to my senses, I made out the forms of Luke's face, then Gracie's and Calum's and Michael's. I shot up quickly, grabbing my head. God. The nurse shuffled over and practically shoved a bottle of water in my face, telling me to drink. I did as she said and took tiny sips, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes. "What did you eat this morning, Lo?" Luke's hand moved to my shoulder in an attempt to get my to look at him but I refused. "Where did you and Dalton stop?"

"I had a biscuit Luke, and we stopped at the coffee shop on 8th, where I ate a waffle."

"How much was it?" I blanched, staring at him. How much was a waffle normally? Five bucks? No that was too much. Two? No... His face turned red with anger and he stood up, storming out of the room. Calum put his hand on Gracie's shoulder and he and Mikey soon followed Luke out. Gracie's eyes held nothing but disappointment and I couldn't meet her stare either. Eventually, she stood up.

"I love you, Lottie," she used the nickname and I flinched, glaring at the wall.

I sat there for a few more minutes, feeling sorry for myself like normal, and eventually the nurse asked how I was feeling and offered me a muffin. Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth I nodded, soon picking at the sweet treat. "I don't want to report this to your parents Charlotte." It didn't matter. Luke knew already and that was enough. "-but you've got to eat more... It doesn't have to be big meals, but maybe a granola bar between classes or a back of carrots or celery."

There was nothing wrong with me. I was eating fine. I was never hungry, that was all. That was a lie, though and I knew it. My stomach was constantly grumbling, an ache deep in my abdomen. "When you're done with that, I'll write you a pass to class. It's seventh period." I nodded. Seventh period was cheer. "I'm also going to call Coach Hill and let her know that you're in no position to be active right now. You look grey, Charlotte." I nodded again. So much for my cute outfit I had had for the day.

I bid the nurse, Mrs. Willingham, a good bye and started towards the gym, my hands pushed into my jacket pockets. I felt so uncomfortable at the moment, so off. Why hadn't Dalton been at my side, or any of my other friends for that matter? My teeth bit into my lip angrily.

There was a sudden tug on my arm and, with a shout of surprise, I was yanked into an empty classroom. Hands slammed against the wall on either side of me and I flinched, body tense. "What the fuck, Charlotte." Ashton. I kept my head turned away from him, eyes screwed shut. "Starving yourself, really?" His voice broke and I quickly looked up to meet his gaze. It wasn't afire, like I had thought it would be, but he still looked visibly upset.

"Ashton... I'm not starving myself..."

"It was eleven in the morning when I found you, crying and almost passed out in the floor of the bathroom." So it was Ashton who had found me. Fantastic. Another thing for him to hold over my head. "You literally had nothing come up. You barely eat at lunch and when your parents bring pizza home for everyone you pick the toppings off, eat them, and then throw the rest away. I see what you're doing Lottie!"

"Stop fucking calling me that!" I shoved my hands against his chest but he wasn't phased. My chest tightened, suddenly feeling anxious under his intense hazel stare. He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me, tight but comforting. Tears welled in my eyes and a sob wracked my body, not hugging him back but just letting him hold me.

"Why?" His heart was beating quickly, but so was mine. I just wanted to be skinny. Ever since the summer before ninth grade, all I ever wanted to do was be skinny and pretty and better than fucking Anna Locks. I couldn't tell him that though. I couldn't give him that satisfaction. What satisfaction? He's here, holding me, comforting me. He obviously cares, but I knew that he didn't.

"I put on a little weight over the summer Ashton. I had to lose it before out competition in the spring and running alone wasn't helping." A lie, but a good one. He nodded, eyes understanding.

"There are other ways, Lottie," I nodded, ignoring the nickname this time. "I'm glad you're okay." His fingers graced my cheek bone and I pulled away, completely out of the comfort of his arms, my eyes on the ground again.

"I have to go," I mumbled and hurried from the classroom, towards the gym.