Burn

It was starting to dawn on me how little time I had left with The Maine. In just two short weeks, they would release the album and kick-start their three month tour across the United States. Christmas was next week, and after that New Years. The day after, The Maine would be on a plane going back to Arizona to get packed for tour. The more I dwelled on the thoughts the more I panicked. It wasn't enough time. How could I go three months without John when our relationship had just started?

The Maine's recording studio had become all too familiar to me. I was so used to being around people constantly I knew it was going to take some adjusting to go back to my apartment and be by myself--especially at night. I just wasn't ready.

Along with this, the growing number of comments about me on John's Instagram picture that he refused to take down were starting to put me in a constant state of panic and worry. Garrett had also recently uploaded the video we'd recorded about the bands album progress, and that was getting comments too. Much to my disgust, they were very similar to the one on John's Instagram. Everyone wanted to know who I was, and what I was doing with or for The Maine. Fans seemed to recognize I was a journalist, but couldn't make the connection as to why I was with The Maine at seemingly every moment.

It was all just happening too fast. And I worried that I seemed to be the only one of us who was thinking about the distance to be put between John and I in the next few months.



I was sitting at the kitchen table, continuing to work on The Maine's article on my laptop when John came in and snatched it up, closing it and tucking it under his arm.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my seat. "I didn't save that!"

"Everyone is going out to town today. I thought maybe we could go have lunch--by ourselves."

I raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. "Like a date?"

"Yes, Viola Grey. Like a date." he grinned, pointing to the stairs. "Now go get dressed."

"I am dressed?" I looked down at my outfit of jeans and a The Maine t-shirt, courtesy of Tim.

"No, go put on something more Viola. Like a sweater and those thick scarves you wear sometimes. It's cold outside." he said as he took my hand, leading me upstairs with my laptop still tucked under his arm. He walked into his bedroom, going over to my suitcase and rummaging through until he found a burgundy sweater.

"Here." he held it out to me. "I think you should wear this."

I looked at him skeptically. "So you're picking out my clothes now."

"Just the sweater." he grinned, setting my laptop and sweater on the bed and pulling me against him. I giggled as I looked up into his eyes staring down playfully at me. He reached up and placed his hand on the side of my face, rubbing his thumb slightly against my bottom lip. I forced myself not to sight at the contact.

"What?" I asked, when he kept staring down at me. He said nothing, and leaned down to give me a soft peck on the lips. "Get dressed." he murmured, walking out of the room and closing the door softly behind him. I shook my head as I turned to my suitcase to piece together an outfit based on the sweater John picked out. He sure was bossy today.

After I put on an outfit that seemed up to par to date standards, I trekked back downstairs to where the rest of The Maine were gathered in the living room.

"Hey Viola." Garrett acknowledged me as I came into the room. They were all gathered around Pat as he flipped through a slideshow of pictures on his phone. Jared murmured something in agreement and pointed at the screen.

"What's going on?" I asked, sitting down on the love seat to pull my shoes on.

"We're checking out an artist that we want to help us design the Forever Halloween album art." Pat said, still flipping. "Her name is Layla Moore."

"She's good, I like her." Kennedy said. "Her painting skills are gonna come in handy for what we have planned."

"What do you have planned?" I asked, standing up and grabbing my pea coat off the back of the couch. John leaped off the other couch to grab it and hold it out for me to shrug on. "I'll tell you on the way to town." he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door.

"Um, bye you guys!" I said as John basically shoved me out onto the porch. I frowned at him, fixing my jacket that he had just bunched up. "What is with you today?"

"I feel like I never get you to myself." he murmured, grabbing the waist ties of my coat and bringing me against his chest. I beamed up at him and he mimicked my action, kissing me so that I could feel the edges of his mouth turned up into a playful grin. "Come on, I'm starving."

He held out his hand for my keys when we got to my car and I shook my head at him. "Who said I was letting you drive?"

"Since I said I was taking you out on a date. I'm the man with the plans, and also the one who needs the keys!" he explained, placing his hands on his hips and tilting his head to the side. I rolled my eyes, tossing them to him and walking around to the other side of the car.

"Thank you, madam. It's so much easier when you cooperate."



"I love Christmas time." I murmured as we rolled past a house with plastic deer and Santa figurines placed around the yard. They were lit up in the middle of the afternoon since the grey clouds were hiding all evidence of sunshine. "What do you normally do during the holidays?"

"My mom likes to cook a lot, so she makes a big lunch for us to eat after we open presents. Christmas is a really laid back holiday for my family--we just relax and enjoy spending time with everyone." he said, looking over at me and grinning. "What do you do?"

"My family likes to take vacations during the holidays." I explained. "Last year, my parents spent a week in New York seeing the sights."

"I travel for most of the year, so spending time at home is more inviting to me." he shrugged, still smiling. John was dressed in a colorful, red and green plaid shirt and a pair of black jeans. The color scheme made him look full of holiday spirit, and now that he was driving I was doing nothing but drinking in his appearance. He really was handsome.

"It doesn't make you sad you won't be with them because of recording?"

"Not really. The guys are my family in a way." he said. "I'll get to spend tons of time with them after this tour, so it's not too bad."

My face fell a little as he said this. Of course John would go back to Arizona to be with his family after this tour. Why hadn't I thought of that? What was I going to do? Would I be able to visit him in Arizona? Was that even an option with my newly appointed job status? I was beginning to feel nauseous thinking about all of those unanswered questions, so I pressed my head against the cool glass of the window and closed my eyes.

How did people even date others who were gone for such long periods of time? Would we talk? Would I be able to call him? How would I know what he was doing when he wasn't on stage? How would I know anything?

What about his fans? All of the ugly comments on the internet were slowly breaking down my self-esteem the more I looked at them. He was with someone his fans didn't approve of.

And why was I the only one thinking about these things? John hadn't mentioned one thing about what we were going to do after tour--or during tour for that matter. Would we break up? The thought that this was just a fling for him made me even sicker to my stomach. "Viola Grey?" John asked, reaching over to touch my face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I need some air." I rasped, feeling like my throat was closing in on me. My breathing picked up and I grabbed anxiously at my jacket, trying to get it off of me. I was suddenly too hot, too cramped and I needed out. John's calm expression turned to one of panic as he quickly whipped the car into the parking lot of a mall. I nearly jumped out, leaning over and putting my hands on my knees and trying to breathe in as much of the wintery air as I could.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't keep turning these questions over and over in my head without any answers. I needed to know why he wasn't thinking about this as much as I was--and if it was the answer I felt like it was going to be, it was gonna break my heart.

John watched me wearily as he rounded the side of the car, puffing out white clouds of air and rubbing his jacket-less arms. I focused on breathing in an out until the sick feeling went away and I felt like my lungs were working at full capacity again. John walked over to me cautiously as I stood up fully, finally opening my eyes and looking into his weary face.

He put both hands on my cheeks, and it was only then did I realize I'd been crying. He wiped away the wetness gently with his thumbs, pulling me into his chest for a tight embrace. "Viola Grey what is going on with you." he murmured softly, and it came out more as a statement than a question.

I shook my head, and buried it in his chest as we hugged. "John, I don't know--I just--I have so many questions."

"Questions about what?" he asked, pulling me back so that he could look into my face. "Stop crying, talk to me."

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. It was now or never, I'd already stepped in the door of the discussion. "I mean--what is this?" I gestured between me and him. "You're about to go on tour, and I'll be here. I won't know what's going on and I can't come with you. And what about after tour? You need to be with your family--and I'll still be here. This isn't gonna work--it can't work. I don't know how to do this--I mean--I just can't--"

He interrupted me by putting his finger softly to my lips. "Viola Grey, why do you worry so much?" John gazed down at me intensely, making my cheeks heat up warmly in contrast to the cold air outside. "It's gonna take time, and a lot of patience. I know you're worried about distance and time and all of that--but it's something that we will have to take one day at a time. You have to trust me."

"I do trust you!" I said immediately, making his lips twitch with the hint of a smile. "I just don't want to go into this blind, John. I need to know what is gonna happen. I don't like feeling like I'm diving headfirst into building something without like--reading the manual, or whatever."

He grinned his megawatt smile, making me break out into one too. "The manual?" he laughed and I rolled my eyes. "You know what I meant!"

He shook his head, still grinning. "I promise it's not going to be as hard as you think. Well--maybe a little hard at first. But we'll figure it out, okay?"

"Okay." I agreed, and he brought both of his hands to the side of my face again and leaned down, connecting my lips with his softly. He pecked them over and over again, making me break out into a giggle and when I turned away he pecked me all over my face--going from my forehead to my cheeks to my nose and back to my lips.

I laughed loudly then, pushing him away from me. I loved that he knew how to bring my mood back up from the slumps instantly. He grabbed my hand instead and we began walking to the car together. "How about that lunch date now?"



We ended up eating in a quaint little cafe a few streets down from the mall parking lot we'd stopped in. We walked inside and I was immediately grateful for the suffocatingly-warm atmosphere that washed over us. John chose a table by the window and we both shook off our jackets before sliding into the booth.

I scrolled on my phone as John picked up the menu. Immediately, I opened Instagram and looked at the comments under the picture of John and I. It was starting to become a routine to check and make sure the comments weren't getting any worse. I knew it was a form self-deprecation to keep looking at them, but I couldn't keep myself away.

John peered at me from over the top of his menu and frowned. "Do I need to take your phone again?"

I shook my head, quickly exiting off the app and locking my phone. "Nope."

"Good." he said, putting down his menu. "They serve breakfast here all day long! I'm gonna order coffee."

"Ooooh, me too." I agreed. John grinned at me and grabbed my hand off the table, holding it with both of his. "Your hands are so warm." he complimented, smiling and pressing my palm against his cool cheek. He held it there as he turned to look out the window at the many people bustling by on the sidewalk outside. The wind blew harshly, making the Christmas lights hanging from the top of the building sway back and forth.

"I love Christmas time, too." he murmured, reflecting back on my words from earlier. I watched him intently, feeling a stupid grin creep across my face at how handsome he was--even when doing something mundane like looking out the window.

"I have to do some shopping." I said, sighing. "I have to buy presents for Callie, Rose, Joel, Alex and Ca--" I stopped, casting my eyes downward. There would be no buying Caleb a present this year, considering our current friendship status. I looked up at John through my eyelashes nervously, waiting for his face to fall or for him to lash out at me about Caleb.

He did nothing, except bring my palm from the side of his face to his mouth, and kissed the center. The contact sent delicious tingles down my arm and up the side of my neck, making goosebumps erupt on my skin.

Our waitress came over then, and I pulled my hand out of John's grip as she asked us what we'd like to drink. "We'll both have coffee, please." he answered, smiling warmly at her. She walked away, throwing a flirty smile of her own over her shoulder and sashaying towards the kitchen.

"Stop doing that." I scolded, making him grin harder. "What?" he asked.

"Stop charming people." I answered and he chuckled, shaking his head. "Darlin' the only person I'm trying to charm is you."

Darlin'?! I thought as my cheeks turned pink, and I looked away from John's cheeky smile to the menus laid on the table. Oh my god. Our waitress came back with our steaming mugs and sat them down, then pulled her pad out of her apron pocket to take our order. John gestured to me to go first.

"I'll have some French toast with a side of bacon, please."

"And I'll have the three cheese omelet--also with bacon." he said politely, looking straight at me as he gathered our menus and put them back into their holder on the end of the table. She trekked back into the kitchen--this time much less enthusiastic now that John had calmed down his megawatt smile.

"Was that better?" he murmured, smirking at me. I narrowed my eyes at him, picking up my phone again. "Can you believe I don't have any pictures of you?"

"You mean you didn't download any from the internet to save and swoon over?" he asked, dropping his mouth open in fake shock.

I narrowed my eyes further. "You know, here lately I either want to strangle you or kiss you. Do you think that's a healthy start to a relationship?"

"How about you do both at the same time, darling?" he winked at me. I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. "What is with the darling crap?"

He shrugged, chuckling. "I don't know, Viola Grey. I was trying to think of a pet name for you and that one seems to work, don't you think?"

"No."

"No?"

"Okay, maybe."

"So...yes?" he questioned, smiling smugly. He was enjoying himself all too much, but I had to admit that silly banter with John was more fun than anxiety attacks with John. I was still embarrassed over the parking lot scene, but I was determined to shrug it off for the time being.

About ten minutes later, our waitress came back with our plates, sitting them down gingerly before refilling our cups. "This looks delicious." John said, greedily rubbing his hands together. I watched for a moment, amused at the way he closed his eyes as he took his first couple of bites. "This was such a good idea, Viola Grey. We should go on dates more often."

I giggled, shaking my head. "For the food or the alone time?"

He swallowed before answering. "Oh definitely the alone time more than the eating--although that's nice too. I like you all to myself, sweetheart." he smirked as I rolled my eyes at the endearment.

It was so easy to be with him like this. He made everything seem so simple--and I was beginning to try and convince myself that it would not be as complicated as I thought when he left. You can do this, Viola. You've fought to get this far, and you can definitely tough it out to the finish line."

I begged for something to go right--even if it was just this once.