Without You

Doll

“All right, soldiers, we’re moving out in five!” the Commander hollered. I noticed the men around me anxiously checking their guns, typically fumbling, as they prepared to run out and engage with enemy forces.

I wasn’t nervous like them. Hell, I was excited.

Finally I was here on the battlefront and about to do some good for my country. I had known from a young age that the way I was going to contribute to the world wasn’t by wearing an apron and cooking and cleaning for a working husband and children. Even as a child I was running around with the boys, pretending to shoot them and then avenging my friends who had fallen. I had miraculously gained entry to the army, and Agent Carter knew exactly how much her persistent help meant to me.

“Not going to check your rifle, soldier?” someone asked and I snapped out of my daze to face him. His helmet sat heavily atop his square face lined with brown stubble, and his grin lit up his entire face, in particular his blue eyes.

He had taken my breath away, but I quickly got it back. Chances were one or both of us were about to die out there, and no doubt with a face like that he had a couple of girlfriends waiting for him back home.

“You’re not a man,” he stated with a light chuckle and I grinned.

“No, I’m not,” I agreed, finding it difficult to not smile at him.

“Do you even know how to use that?” he asked with a gesture towards the gun resting in my hands. “I can check it for you if you want, doll.”

In response to his insult masked with chivalry, I proceeded to click the gun to check it was fully loaded and that the safety was off. The man’s eyes enlarged as he realised that I wasn’t an amateur who had mistakenly ended up here, and that I had just embarrassed him.

“I think I’m good, thank you,” I replied.

“I didn’t realise women were allowed to be deployed,” he remarked and I glared at another soldier who shoved his way past me to the front of the line. He was rude as well as stupid; he’d be one of the first to fall.

“Well, Agent Carter’s my friend, so…”

“I don’t know him,” the man stated with a shrug, clearly not finding the meaning my words were supposed to have.

“Her,” I corrected and his face lit up with understanding.

“So why are you here? Why do you want to fight?” he questioned and I noticed the other soldiers around us were beginning to get antsy as they waited for the order to run forwards and start shooting.

“I’m not about to put my heart on my sleeve for you. Hell, you haven’t even bought me a drink first,” I said and we shared a laugh. It had always been easier for me to get along with men more than women, and I was now glad that this man had started a conversation. He wasn’t bad company, especially if this was going to be the last conversation I ever had.

“Bucky,” he introduced himself, holding out his hand.

I hesitated as I looked at the outstretched hand that was begging for me to shake it. I didn’t want to become too close to anyone; I had heard enough tragic stories of people losing loved ones in the war and I wasn’t going to allow myself to be the cause of someone’s pain. But this was different.

“Ready, soldiers?” the Commander shouted and I tensed.

I locked eyes with Bucky and saw him hesitate, instinct probably calling to him to grip his gun with his free hand. Instead I swooped my hand in and shook his in a firm embrace.

“Evelyn.”

We shared a smile before breaking apart and readying ourselves to fight.

“Don’t die out there, Evelyn. I owe you a drink,” Bucky said and I grinned.

“I’ll do my best.”
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Because I adore Bucky and couldn't help but write a chaptered story. Comments will mean the world to me, so please take a minute to leave one and I promise I'll stick to a quick update schedule :)

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