Sequel: Take My Love

We Don't Have Forever

It Wasn't Me

So apparently, I missed an interesting dinner. Just by looking at Kathryn, it was obvious she wasn’t happy… and the hole in the wall that she left just clarified everything even more. Damn Toews siblings and their frustrations.

I honestly had no clue what to do either. I mean, I feel for Kathryn. She went through such an emotional experience and to have someone say just to get over had to be hard to hear. But on the other hand, Jonathan is my boyfriend and I need to be there for him as well.

Even though Team Canada had their first game today, Jonathan still texted me that night to make clear plans for breakfast. Knowing that he needed to talk to someone, I agreed… without mentioning it to Kathryn. She seemed to be asleep anyway when we were texting.

I woke up earlier that morning to get around… and pile on the Team Canada gear. I might as well have pulled on a damn maple leaf costume and paraded around in that. Pulling my camera bag over my shoulder, I left Kathryn a note much like she had with me previously. I just told her I was getting breakfast and would meet her at the arena since the game was in the afternoon.

After finding the restaurant that Jonathan told me to meet him at, I went inside and saw him at a table by himself. He was just staring at the white mug in front of him. With a sigh, I went over and took the seat across from him. Slowly, his eyes came up to meet mine and I gave him a slight smile. He returned it and even leaned over the table to give me a quick kiss.

“Doing alright this morning?” I asked first.

“Fine,” he shrugged.

“I heard… about last night,” I told him.

“Oh,” his gaze quickly lowered to his cup of coffee once more.

“Some people handle situations differently,” was all I said.

“But it’s been years…” he had a slight annoyed tone. “She can play… really well and she’s just letting it go to waste.”

“You have to respect what she wants to do though,” I reminded him. What the fuck am I? Doctor Phil?

“I know what she wants to do,” his dark eyes came up to mine once again.

“It’s easy for you to look at her and see what you think she wants to do. Nothing happened to you in her…”

“Nothing happened to me?” he cut me off, telling me that I touched a nerve and should not have gone there.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I had to watch my sister cling to life in the morning and then get on the ice and play like nothing was going on at night. Every time I got on the bench, I was waiting for someone to tell me that her condition got worse,” he rambled on, “All because of… a stupid fucking idiot,” he finished. He blinked a few times after he spoke. I thought it was an attempt to hide the fact that his gaze had turned a bit glossy, but he refused to look back up at me so that I could see.

And that did it. I couldn’t let him suffer like this any longer. I reached across the table and put my hand on top of his. He didn’t react and I didn’t expect him to. But it gave me time to choose my words carefully. At this point, I didn’t care that he had a game in a few hours. I wasn’t looking at an all-star hockey player that nearly the entire population of Canada admired. I was looking at my boyfriend… and he was hurting.

“I… know what happened,” was all I said.

“Oh, really?” he quickly looked up at me. “You know that my sister almost died because she got into a car with a drunk driver?”

“Yeah… and I know that driver was… you,” I spoke softly, trying to be tender with all of this… and he laughed.

“It wasn’t me,” he kept that same forced laughter.

“Jonathan, I’m your one safe person that you can talk about this with. Don’t push me away,” I got a little sterner with him.

His gaze locked on mine for, what seemed like, a long time; like he was debating if he could trust me. I didn’t like that it took him so long, but eventually he blinked and let out a sigh while he leaned forward a bit. He even flipped his hand around so that our hands could be cupped together.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he said gently.

“And that’s fine. But I want you to know that I don’t think any less of you because of what happened. You just need to understand that it’s easy for you to say things like get over it when your career wasn’t really affected by what happened,” I explained to him.

He didn’t say anything, but he bit his lip and nodded his head. Everything in his body language told me that wanted to say something… and I wished he would have; even if it were angry. But our waitress came over and that put an end to that conversation. Now, I just hoped that this wouldn’t affect his game. I can barely deal with one unhappy Toews. I don’t know what I would do with two!
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