We Don't Have Forever

Leaving Kathryn to rest, Jonathan and I went back out into the waiting room. I tried to convince him to go home and get some sleep, but of course he refused. Instead, he spread out on the small couch, putting his head in my lap.

“I wish you would at least go home to rest,” I sighed at him.

“No,” was all he said, giving me a slight glare.

I shook my head, but still let my hand come up so that my fingers could run through his hair. It was the only thing I could think to do to relax him at this point.

“Hate hospitals,” he muttered while his eyes closed slowly.

“I could imagine,” I replied, guessing he was referring to all of the time he had spent in one throughout the whole… accident.

“I’d leave here and then go straight to the United Center only to have media on my ass about her condition,” he muttered tiredly.

“… Really?” I was surprised by that statement.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “It was such a big deal. I guess the accident report was in the papers and everyone freaked out. I was still trying to get a good hold on being the captain on the team and trying to keep everything that went on private. After so many ‘she’ll be fine’ comments, they start to poke around I guess,” he added.

“It was hard enough seeing her laying there all day. On the drive to the games, I’d try and block it out and focus on hockey. But then I talked to the media and they brought it up all over again. I asked to not even talk to them until she was better. But I was the captain. I couldn’t just not talk to them,” he shrugged; still with his eyes closed.

“That had to be rough,” I sympathized with him. I was so happy he was talking… even if his exhaustion caused him to do it.

“Fucking sucked,” he muttered. “The guys knew I was stressed out about it. Hell, Coach Q would even have to tap my shoulder and remind me that Kathryn was going to be ok when I was on the bench after a shitty shift.”

“Wow,” was all I could say. My heart was slowly breaking for him… and I had no idea what to say.

“But I had to be there for the team, so I had to do everything I could to put it past me,” his voice was the quietest as he said that.

“That had to be exhausting for you,” I told him, my fingers still raking through his soft hair.

“It wasn’t fun,” he said.

He let out another heavy sigh and his body seemed to relax a bit more. Since he didn’t go on and say anything else, I reached down and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

I was so glad that he opened up more about this topic. It makes me feel better for him. Now, if the two Toews would get over their bullheaded-ness and talk to each other, things could possibly get back to normal for them.