We Don't Have Forever

“Girlfriend… Yes, I knew that,” Jack said… since I was at a loss for words.

Of fucking course! How did I not put it all together? Pittsburgh. Sidney Crosby. Why did Jack have to greet him before the game?!

I didn’t know what to say still. The look on Kathryn’s face screamed murder. Jack said a few more words to Sidney and finally turned and left. I quickly followed… not wanting to have to answer to Kathryn right at this moment.

“Girlfriend?” Jack raised a brow and glanced over at me.

“I’ll explain after the game,” I countered.

“You have a boyfriend,” he stated.

“Jack, it’s not…”

“It’s not what?” he cut me off; anger taking over his eyes.

“I’ll tell you whatever you want after the game. I promise,” I was nearly pleading. I didn’t want him to have a shitty game… because of me.

“You’re hotel room so we can talk then,” he agreed… and I nearly sighed in relief.

He wasn’t happy… and I finally accepted the fact that he did want more out of what we were doing. I didn’t want to believe it; probably because I did have Jonathan.

Jonathan… everything in me told myself to call him; come clean and explain myself before his sister told him anything. From the look on her face, I knew Kathryn assumed the worst. Jonathan probably would too. At this point, I felt like there wasn’t any good outcome for this situation. But I still couldn’t bring myself to call him!

By the time I had shaken off everything and found my seat, the lights had dimmed and the crowd was going nuts. I did my best to concentrate on the game… But it was so hard. It didn’t help that Jack wasn’t playing at his best. It seemed like every time the puck was passed to him, he was turning it over. An odd man rush was the result of one of them… and Sidney had scored.

It was such a painful sixty minutes of hockey to watch. The Penguins had won 4-3. I felt bad for Jack. I knew his poor performance had to do with what happened before the game and I had no clue how to make it better… other than come clean to him. Then maybe doing that with other people will be easier.

I didn’t wait for him as the arena began to empty. I got a taxi and went back to my hotel. Once I got there, I sent a short text to Jack, telling him where I was. While I was waiting for any kind of response, I stared at my phone. It was screaming for me to call Jonathan more than it had all night. In the pit of my stomach, I felt like it would be a mistake. He had a game tonight too. I already ruined one game for someone. I didn’t need to do it a second time. By now, Kathryn had probably gotten to him anyway.

As a heavy sigh escaped me, there was a knock on my door. Knowing it was Jack, I opened it and his bulky frame stepped inside. My heart began to pound. I actually thought he would be able to hear it.

He went on to take a seat and I sat on the bed across from him. Neither of us spoke for a few moments. I didn’t know where to begin!

“I do… have a boyfriend back home in Chicago,” I bit the bullet and spoke.

“Kind of figured that since Sidney’s seen you with him,” was his response.

“I had a boyfriend when we met…”

“And you still agreed to go on dates with me…” he butted in once more.

“Well, at the time I thought it was innocent. But lately, I realized it wasn’t, but I couldn’t… say no to you,” I sighed. I am such a horrible person.

“So, then what’s the deal? Are you in love with this guy? What the hell?” he was letting his frustration out.

“I don’t… know,” I sighed yet again and rubbed my hands over my face. If I loved him, I shouldn’t have done this to him!

“How do you not know?” he pressed more.

“Because I haven’t talked to him since I said I was staying in Columbus,” I muttered.

And honestly… I wasn’t to sure Jonathan and I could survive this. With Kathryn seeing what she saw and how close those two are, she probably wouldn’t let me even look at her brother again.

Jack was silent after this. I didn’t like it. I would much rather someone be yelling at me than the silent treatment. Thankfully, he broke that silence.

“I… really thought we could have had a good thing,” he spoke gently.

“I’m sorry,” I was sincere with him. “I thought… you were a really nice guy.”

His eyes were fixed on mine for the longest that they had been all night. After he blinked though, they moved to the floor and he nodded his head. When it stopped, he got to his feet. I did the same and followed him to the door. Before he reached for the doorknob, he turned to him. His eyes locked with mine once more; a new intensity filling them.

After a few seconds, I knew what was about to happen… and I couldn’t stop it. I felt like my life with Jonathan was over… and it was devastating. But Jack, the guy that I have felt like I’ve given so much comfort to since I’ve met him, was standing right in front of me. I was… curious. I wasn’t sure if I would feel anything if our lips touched. I quickly found out though.

A wave a heat washed over me once it happened. It wasn’t anything like I had ever experienced with Jonathan. This heat grew to various parts of my body until his hands came to my hips. I felt like nothing but desire was being exchanged between us… and it wasn’t what I wanted. I wasn’t even sure I could have what I wanted ever again. This is what I was getting though. All of this was my own fault… and I have to deal with everything as it comes. Right now though, I have Jack to deal with… and I think that’s more than enough that I can handle.