Sequel: Demon Eyes ›
Status: Active, Please be Kind <3
Indigo Soul
Chapter Eighteen Conflicted
Chapter Eighteen
Conflicted
Karissa
My body ached and I expected to open my eyes in some screwed up purgatory neither world. But I didn’t when I opened my eyes they locked on his. Lazarus sat forwards in his chair taking me in his arms. I froze paralyzed as I kept my arms to my side’s tears building again and it hurt. It hurt for him to touch me knowing what I did.
“Please don’t”.
I half sobbed as I wiggled free of him. Lazarus looked broken as I pulled back tears rolling down my cheeks. My whole body ached and the emotional strain of the projection of my life long pain left me weak. Lazarus looked like I had punched him in the stomach as I pulled away.
“Risa”.
He said his voice soft and warm. He wanted to hold me I could hear it in his tone. But I couldn’t allow myself to let my guard down around him again. I confessed my feelings and he rejected me. The answer was given to my feelings.
“You rejected me Lazarus. I poured my heart out and let my guard down, and you rejected me. Whatever your reasons your answer has been given”.
I looked at him blinking back tears.
“There’s nothing else to be said”.
Lazarus narrowed his eyes slightly as he refused to accept my response.
“No, listen to me Risa. I have been raised to put my duty before anything else. And I was wrong”.
I looked at him as he took my hands into his.
“I was wrong to brush off my feelings like they meant nothing to me! Because they are everything! I’ve never known these feelings before, never had interest in romance or connecting with someone. But with you all of that changed in a whirl wind! Please Risa don’t turn me away, even though I know I deserve it! Please Risa, don’t reject my true feelings for you”.
I looked at him feeling shocked by this. Shaking my head I looked away from him closing my eyes.
“I don’t know Lazarus, I tell you that I’m falling in love with you, and you reject me. Now you’re changing your story and asking me not to reject you?”
Lazarus sighed looking away letting his hands fall from mine.
“I know, I don’t deserve to ask you to do this. But I don’t want to go back to how I was before. I don’t want to live without you ever again”.
I shared his feeling I didn’t want to go back to living without him either. But still, the sting of his rejection caused me great pain. I looked away from him giving a heavy sigh.
“I don’t know”.
I whispered. Before Lazarus could push the issue anymore Fallon rushed to my side taking me in a hug. I hugged her back assuring her that I was alright. Ember and Skyler stepped up hugging me as well. When we parted from the group hug I saw Lazarus vanish from the doorway of the room. I turned back to Fallon and the others.
I was so conflicted by my feelings for Lazarus and the pain of his rejection. I didn’t know what to do, I was still falling in love with Lazarus, but how could I push aside my pain of his rejection when I confessed my feelings? Was that really the way I wanted to begin a relationship?
Conflicted
Karissa
My body ached and I expected to open my eyes in some screwed up purgatory neither world. But I didn’t when I opened my eyes they locked on his. Lazarus sat forwards in his chair taking me in his arms. I froze paralyzed as I kept my arms to my side’s tears building again and it hurt. It hurt for him to touch me knowing what I did.
“Please don’t”.
I half sobbed as I wiggled free of him. Lazarus looked broken as I pulled back tears rolling down my cheeks. My whole body ached and the emotional strain of the projection of my life long pain left me weak. Lazarus looked like I had punched him in the stomach as I pulled away.
“Risa”.
He said his voice soft and warm. He wanted to hold me I could hear it in his tone. But I couldn’t allow myself to let my guard down around him again. I confessed my feelings and he rejected me. The answer was given to my feelings.
“You rejected me Lazarus. I poured my heart out and let my guard down, and you rejected me. Whatever your reasons your answer has been given”.
I looked at him blinking back tears.
“There’s nothing else to be said”.
Lazarus narrowed his eyes slightly as he refused to accept my response.
“No, listen to me Risa. I have been raised to put my duty before anything else. And I was wrong”.
I looked at him as he took my hands into his.
“I was wrong to brush off my feelings like they meant nothing to me! Because they are everything! I’ve never known these feelings before, never had interest in romance or connecting with someone. But with you all of that changed in a whirl wind! Please Risa don’t turn me away, even though I know I deserve it! Please Risa, don’t reject my true feelings for you”.
I looked at him feeling shocked by this. Shaking my head I looked away from him closing my eyes.
“I don’t know Lazarus, I tell you that I’m falling in love with you, and you reject me. Now you’re changing your story and asking me not to reject you?”
Lazarus sighed looking away letting his hands fall from mine.
“I know, I don’t deserve to ask you to do this. But I don’t want to go back to how I was before. I don’t want to live without you ever again”.
I shared his feeling I didn’t want to go back to living without him either. But still, the sting of his rejection caused me great pain. I looked away from him giving a heavy sigh.
“I don’t know”.
I whispered. Before Lazarus could push the issue anymore Fallon rushed to my side taking me in a hug. I hugged her back assuring her that I was alright. Ember and Skyler stepped up hugging me as well. When we parted from the group hug I saw Lazarus vanish from the doorway of the room. I turned back to Fallon and the others.
I was so conflicted by my feelings for Lazarus and the pain of his rejection. I didn’t know what to do, I was still falling in love with Lazarus, but how could I push aside my pain of his rejection when I confessed my feelings? Was that really the way I wanted to begin a relationship?
♠ ♠ ♠
<3