Under Your Skin

I sighed and walked into the cafeteria, walking into the line to get lunch. My parents always gave me money for lunch, since it was forbidden that I get a job.
“Hiya Kellin,” someone said from behind me. I turned around to look at Vic, a little frown on my lips. “Hi,” I mumbled back and turned around again.
“You should apologize to me,” he said in a falsely-cheery tone. “No thank you,” I said and picked up a tray as the line moved. “Oh but you see Kellin, I’m not someone you want to piss off. I own this school,”
I shrugged, having dealt with assholes like him before. “Isn’t that nice for you,” I muttered and walked into a separate line to get french fries.
“Mhm, but not so much for you,” I rolled my eyes and picked up one of the little baskets and a bottle of water before heading over to the register.
There were two people in front of me, and of course, Vic was directly behind me. “Watch your back Kellin,” he said quietly, low enough that the lunch lady wouldn’t hear.
I sighed and waited my turn before handing her a five. “Don’t you want anything else?” she asked, clearly judging my lack of fruits and vegetables.
“No,” She sighed and shook her head before handing me my change. “Have a nice day,” she muttered and then looked at Vic. I walked away before he could say anything, going to sit in one of the empty booths.
Most of the lunch room was filled, teenagers laughing and talking as they ate.
I sighed and popped a fry into my mouth before getting my phone out. I knew Justin had gym now, and there was no way he would be participating.
Kellin: I miss you
He answered almost immediately, making me smile slightly.
Justin: I miss you more, come back and love me
Kellin: I wish, this place sucks ass
Justin: aw, why?
Kellin: guess
Justin: oh, sorry
Kellin: and all of the teachers are douchebags
Justin: what did they do?
Kellin: I have detention for defending myself
Justin: they’re all fuckfaces
Kellin; I miss you so much
Kellin: I hate it here
Justin: maybe I can come over this weekend?
Kellin: please?
Justin: we’ll see, you know my mom
Kellin: yeah…>_<
Justin: you’re cute
Kellin: I know
Justin: ass
Kellin: you love me
Justin; mhm, sure
Kellin: remind me to pout at you
Justin: don’t you dare pout at me
Kellin: nope, pouts are inevitable for you
Justin: I have to go. Halter’s being a c***
Kellin: don’t say that
Justin: c***
I rolled my eyes and set my phone down to eat, smiling a little to myself. “Texting your boyfriend?” someone asked, their body suddenly looming over me.
“Not anymore,” I said and ate one of my fries. Justin wasn’t really my boyfriend, but he didn’t know that, so fuck him. “Oh really? Little fag like you actually has a boyfriend?”
I shrugged lightly. “Why does it matter?” I asked, trying not to sound rude.
“Because who the fuck would want to date you?” I shrugged again. “I never said he was my boyfriend. I never even said I was talking to a boy. You just assumed,” I said.
“Oh, are you trying to get smart with me?” I shook my head and ate another french fry. “I was just stating a fact. I never said I had a boyfriend, or that I was talking to him.”
The guy, who’s name I didn’t even know, flipped my french fries, an irritated look on his face. “Don’t get fucking snippy with me you little fucker. I sighed softly and glanced at the fries that were now scattered across the table and on the seats. “I wasn’t trying to,” I muttered and put my phone and water into my bag.
“Then don’t fucking sass me,” he said and loomed over me. “Did you actually want something? Have personal space issues,” I said and looked up at him. His chest was pretty close to my face, his entire body just hovering above me.
“What did I just say?” he asked. “You said not to sass you,” I said. “All I want is for you to back up; I do actually have a problem with personal space,”
I wasn’t lying; I didn’t like people to get close to me, especially in a threatening way. “Well I don’t fucking care what you want,” he said and grabbed my shirt. He lifted me up, putting his face directly in my face.
I swallowed harshly, not liking how close he was to me. His breath blew into my face angrily, making me cringe.
He moved, dragging me and my bag with him, and then shoved me against a wall. His body was about an inch from mine, and as soon as I opened my mouth his hand clamped over it. “Shut up fag,” he said.
I closed my eyes, hating how familiar this felt. It was like I could feel the shadow of his touch on me, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I struggled in his grip, close to having a panic attack. He let go of my mouth, startled by my sudden panic.
“Let go of me,” I pleaded, my voice coming out squeaky and faint. “Why? You gonna cry?” he asked. Maybe.
I tightened my hand on my bag and wriggled out of his grasp, heading to the closest bathroom before I threw up.
My hands felt clammy and my eye were swimming as I tried to stay upright. I leant against the wall as I walked, my labored breathing sounding extremely loud in the abandoned hallway.
I finally made it to the bathroom, and fell into one of the stalls, seconds before I was sick.
I coughed up the little bit of my lunch I had gotten to eat and last night’s dinner if there was even any of it left, my stomach heaving violently.
I emptied my stomach and then flushed and fell back against the stall door, breathing heavily. I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and then sat for a minute.
My heart was still racing slightly and my whole body felt cold and hot at the same time. I stood up on shaky legs and wobbled out to the sink.
I leant on the counter, sipping water from the tap to rinse my mouth out. My hands were shaking as I got my water bottle out and went to sit on the floor again. I slid down the wall, feeling like I might pass out. They weren’t usually this bad….
My eyes were bleary as I tried to focus on whoever was coming in the room. They stood in the doorway for a minute before walking up to me and kneeling down in front of me.
“Not now Vic,” I said and took a sip of my water. He just watched me again, completely silent for a while. “Put your head between your knees,” he said quietly, his voice gentler than I had heard from him.
I did as he said and took deep breaths to calm myself, finally relaxing a little. “That certainly wasn’t the reaction I was expecting out of you,” he said then and stood up. His voice had gone back to normal, sounding all rude and in control. “You made him do that to me?” I asked, honestly horrified. “Well I asked him to mess with you a bit, but I certainly wasn’t expecting that,” Vic said and leant against the counter.
“Do you get them often?” he asked. “The panic attacks, I mean,” I glared at him as best I could and stood up slowly. “That’s none of your business,” I said and went to straighten myself up in the mirror.
“Hm, true. But I still want to know,” I rolled my eyes and fixed my hair a little, frowning at how sickly-pale I looked.
“Isn’t that nice for you,” I muttered. “Too bad I don’t care what you want,” Vic’s expression hardened, his eyes going dark.
“Listen here Kellin, I don’t take shit from anyone, so you had better get your act together or prepare for worse than a little sexual harassment, because believe me; that was nothing,” he said and stalked out of the room.
I sighed and hitched my bag up before leaving the room, seconds before the bell rang. People flooded the halls suddenly, disorienting me a little.
I wandered down the halls until I found my class, managing not to be late this time. “Ah, you must be Kellin,” the teacher said and smiled brightly at me.
I nodded simply and glanced around, looking at the few students who were already in the room. “You’ll be sitting in the fourth desk, first row,” she said cheerily and pointed towards a row of desks directly by the windows.
I nodded a little and walked back to my seat before falling into it. I put my bag between my knees and rested my head on my arms. When would this day be over?