Falling Straight Down
Have You Ever Touched Fire?
Your fingers graze the open flame and the adrenaline rushes through your body.. you feel alive.. alive and scared.
Being with her was like that. It was like playing with fire, the entire time you're terrified to get hurt but you’re excited to feel the burn. You're afraid to go to far.. but you’re ready for it. It’s a game, a dangerous game.. one that I’ve been on the brink of for months.
I watched as her chest rose and fell in the early morning light. I had been up for almost an hour.. I couldn’t sleep. I was too on guard. What if I did something? What if I said something that let her get a look inside and she ran?
Her hair was a frizzy mess surrounding her head. The brown looked red in the light. I watched and began to hate myself even more. She was my best friend. Nothing more.
I remembered years ago when we had first met. Second Grade, day one. She had just moved to our town from a big city. Her hair was even more wild and unruly then. That was back before her mother learned the ‘you don’t brush curly hair’ rule. I was shy and she wasn’t. She came up to me at snack time and took my animal crackers and me, being too afraid to say no, just let her. That was that. She ate them and studied me with a gaze far too mature to belong to a five year old.
“I like you.” She stated.
I nodded.
“We’re best friends now.”
And so we were.
Of course there was more to it then the thieving of animal crackers, but not much. From that day on we were inseparable.. it all just kind of clicked.
And now here we were.
“Novy, I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages. You’ve become so distant.. Is something wrong? Did I do something?” She questioned me, her brown eyes wide and sad.
I had assured her that it wasn’t her, it was me. I was busy with work and school.
She begged me to stay the night with her then, saying that school and work could be put off for the weekend.. and I caved, I had no back bone when it came to her.
So here I was, laying in her king sized bed while her parents traveled the country on a business trip, or as she referred to them as ‘busina-fucking.’ She hated to stay home alone, even though no one would ever dare to try anything with Titus downstairs. Titus was a full grown male Kuvasz - (think a white bear with the bark of a monster and the bite of a flower) - he was overprotective to say the least.
But even then she had begged for my company, and I answered to her call.
I rolled onto my side, facing away from her.. and it was like she felt my attention shift, trying to find something else to cling to, because she pressed herself against me and put her arm around me.
“No, stay.”
I looked towards the ceiling.
Friends stay too, I assured myself. It’s just what best friends do.
Being with her was like that. It was like playing with fire, the entire time you're terrified to get hurt but you’re excited to feel the burn. You're afraid to go to far.. but you’re ready for it. It’s a game, a dangerous game.. one that I’ve been on the brink of for months.
I watched as her chest rose and fell in the early morning light. I had been up for almost an hour.. I couldn’t sleep. I was too on guard. What if I did something? What if I said something that let her get a look inside and she ran?
Her hair was a frizzy mess surrounding her head. The brown looked red in the light. I watched and began to hate myself even more. She was my best friend. Nothing more.
I remembered years ago when we had first met. Second Grade, day one. She had just moved to our town from a big city. Her hair was even more wild and unruly then. That was back before her mother learned the ‘you don’t brush curly hair’ rule. I was shy and she wasn’t. She came up to me at snack time and took my animal crackers and me, being too afraid to say no, just let her. That was that. She ate them and studied me with a gaze far too mature to belong to a five year old.
“I like you.” She stated.
I nodded.
“We’re best friends now.”
And so we were.
Of course there was more to it then the thieving of animal crackers, but not much. From that day on we were inseparable.. it all just kind of clicked.
And now here we were.
“Novy, I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages. You’ve become so distant.. Is something wrong? Did I do something?” She questioned me, her brown eyes wide and sad.
I had assured her that it wasn’t her, it was me. I was busy with work and school.
She begged me to stay the night with her then, saying that school and work could be put off for the weekend.. and I caved, I had no back bone when it came to her.
So here I was, laying in her king sized bed while her parents traveled the country on a business trip, or as she referred to them as ‘busina-fucking.’ She hated to stay home alone, even though no one would ever dare to try anything with Titus downstairs. Titus was a full grown male Kuvasz - (think a white bear with the bark of a monster and the bite of a flower) - he was overprotective to say the least.
But even then she had begged for my company, and I answered to her call.
I rolled onto my side, facing away from her.. and it was like she felt my attention shift, trying to find something else to cling to, because she pressed herself against me and put her arm around me.
“No, stay.”
I looked towards the ceiling.
Friends stay too, I assured myself. It’s just what best friends do.