Don't Fear The Reaper

Kellin's P.O.V.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was hold while I was in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Today I just can't bring myself to get out of my bed. Not because I'm tired or lazy or anything, it's just that today is Tuesday. Tuesday is chemotherapy day. I turned over in my bed to look at my alarm clock to see that is was 9:27. Chemo starts at 11:00 so I guess I have to get out of bed.

I stood up and threw the blankets off of me, and walked to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. I walked to the shower and turned the water to hot a peeled of my clothes. I put a hand under the water to test how hot it was. I stepped in and let the water run down my face.

*****

It was 10:09 now and I had chosen a simple outfit really, a white v-neck, a pair of worn out black skinny jeans with little holes scattering all over the knees, a pair plain black vans, and a dark grey beanie to cover my bald head. With the beanie you wouldn't be able tell that I didn't have hair. I used to have long black hair, that is one of the things I miss the most. It's not the main reason I'm mad I have cancer but it definitely is in the top 10.

At 10:30 I usually start to walk to the hospital for chemo. I preferred to walk because before I went in for my session I would go to the library next door a pick a book to read for the next two hours I would be in the hospital.

I walked into the library and went to a random isle trying to find something that caught my eye. I saw a black and blue book that read 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'. I reached for the book and eyed the cover and reading the back. Satisfied with my chose I started walking towards the checkout counter when I turned and bumped into someone.

A short but muscular man who had curly long brown hair, brown eyes, and and silver nose ring. "I'm sorry, I should have been watching where I was going, I'm really clumsy sometimes." He looked kind of worried that I might have been mad. "It's okay, I'm fine." I said reassuringly.

"I'm Vic." Vic stated.

"Kellin." I replied

He smiled at me warmly and let out a small laugh. With a smile like his I couldn't help but smile back. He was beautiful.

*****

I was standing in front of the hospital door. I was scared. I was always scared because I hated the side effects, but this time I don't know why I can't just open the door something just felt wrong today. I took a deep breath and walked in. I walked past the woman at the front desk that I know all to well and began to walk to the room where poison gets injected into my veins, "Kellin sweetie!" I heard the lady at the front desk - Mrs. McDougall - call me. I turned to her and walked back over. "Doctor Carlile would like to see you in his office today." She pointed to his office that was right across from the chemo room.

When she said that my heart stopped, because the look she gave me. It was a look of sympathy and I hated it. Something must be wrong or else she wouldn't be sorry for me. I let out a shaky breath and walked towards his office and opened the door.

As soon as I walked in I as greeted with an overly fake smile. "Ah Kellin my favourite pati-" Doctor Carlile started but I cut him off. "Don't bullshit me just tell me why you called me in here." I said even though we both clearly knew why. He sighed and gave me a sad smile. "I'm sorry Kellin but the chemotherapy isn't working anymore."

After he said that I felt a pang in my chest. I was furious although I knew this would happen sooner or later, It wasn't fair, why do I have to get stupid cancer, why do I have to die, there are much worse people on the planet. But maybe I deserve it. I was about to start crying until I pulled myself together.

"How long do I have?" I asked just curious of when I'll die.

He let out another sigh. "Anywhere between 3 to 4 months, i'm afraid."

And with that I walked out of the office with obvious tears running down my face. I walked outside and into the alley behind the hospital and slid down the wall bawling. The only other time I cried this hard as when my dad died a few years ago. But I don't think it was as bad as this.

I wasn't just crying because I was dying, that, everyone already knew. Except for my mom. She was so optimistic about this. I think it was just because I'm all she's got. My grandparents died a while ago so if I die I don't think she'll have anything left.

I was crying in peace until a familiar voice startled me. "Kellin?"

"Yeah." I sniffled in with my reply and looked up at the person who I couldn't see well because my vision was blurred with tears.

"Why are you crying?" The person asked sincerely. It wasn't just like they were asking me to be polite, but it sounded like they actually cared why I was upset.

I started to frantically wipe away the tears and looked up to see Vic, the boy from the library earlier this morning.

"No reason." I replied, sounding fine - it was a skill I had mastered for when I grew tired of people asking me 'what's wrong'.It was a better alternative to saying 'I'm fucking dying so leave me the fuck alone.' I stood up and brushed myself off.

"Just fine." I mumbled giving him a smile which I think he could tell was fake, and I walked started to walk home.

*****