So Kiss Me Goodbye

"Lilly?"

Shelby's voice echoed from the other side of the door.

"Lilly what happened?"

Jamie's voice was with hers.

"Hey kiddo, tell us something."

Travis was there too.

I continued to sob like I had since Will left, closing my eyes to the dark room.

Slowly I heard the door creak open, the three figures tiptoeing their way toward me.

A moment later I found myself in the arms of my three best friends.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." Jamie murmured.

Shelby and Travis hugged me, though I knew they didn't know why I was crying.

Wiping away the tears with my pillow I looked up at them.

"What am I going to do? I'm pregnant and he left me, what's going to stop anyone else from doing the same?" I murmured, letting it out to the other two.

Shelby and Travis held me tighter after that.

"Screw him, if he doesn't want to be here for you then we will." Shelby announced angrily.

She looked over to Travis for him to agree.

When he didn't her eyebrows furrowed together.

With a sniff I broke the tension.

"It's okay Travis; I don't want you to have to choose between me and Will."

He sighed, kissing my forehead.

"Thanks kid, though I'm mad at him anyway for doing this to you. I promise I'll get you all the pickles and ice cream you want whenever."

Shelby laughed. "I'll cover Lamaze classes and assure you you're not fat."

Jamie added to this. "I'll take you to your doctor's appointments, like the one in an hour."

I sighed remembering it.

"We'll all go with you hon." Shelby murmured, putting her arm around Travis as well.

"Thank you." I whispered.

They all slowly pulled themselves off the bed as I attempted to dry my tears.

Shelby tried to pull me up but in my weak state failed miserably.

After her third try Travis stepped in and easily picked me up off the bed.

I looked over my appearance, a pair of black sweatpants and tank top adorning me.

As I looked down I couldn't help but notice the little bulge beginning on my stomach.

It wasn't as obvious to the others but after seeing myself everyday (obviously) the littlest change was noticeable.

Though I couldn't see it I knew my eyeliner must've been cried and smudged away with my other make-up.

I was a mess to put it simply.

Jamie noticed this and attempted to lighten my mood and appearance.

Like my own mother would've done had she been there, Jamie gently pulled away my hair, brushing it into a pony tail with her fingers.

She motioned for Shelby to throw her a hoodie, quickly putting it on me.

Appearance didn't really matter at this point, but the attempt she was making and the affect it had more on the inside than out mattered.

After hugging Jamie I managed to find some slip-ons as Shelby remembered my iPod.

We waited by the door for her till she finally appeared triumphantly holding my iPod.

Taking it in my hand we headed out the door toward the hospital.

~x~

After half an hour wasted doing nothing but drowning in music in the waiting room my name was finally called.

I noticed something while I was waiting though; Shelby had deleted all The Academy Is... songs off it.

It was weird but if I had heard one I might've broken into tears.

My hand squeezed hers as we walked toward the nurse.

"Immediate family only." The nurse said, stopping between me and the others in the doorway.

I didn't blink an eye with my reply.

"They are my family."

The nurse rolled her eyes but after looking closer at my appearance and probably seeing the bags under my determined eyes and the black smudges decided not to fight me on this one.

She led us toward a room and told us a doctor would be with us shortly before leaving.

After I had placed myself on the mattress, Travis, Jamie, and Shelby positioning themselves around me, the door opened.

I won't lie and say for a moment I wished it was Will, but as the image I had in my head was replaced by a middle aged man I grew to accept it.

"Hello Mrs. Harper I'm Dr. Reynolds, I'll be giving you your prenatal exam." He said brightly, turning to Travis. "And you must be the father to be."

As we both tried to find the words, Shelby spoke up, the edge very apparent in her voice. "Check your chart again doc."

Dr. Reynolds looked down at it before looking up with a slight blush.

"Oh, I didn't-" I cut him off waving my hand.

"It's fine, feel special you're the first of probably many to make the same mistake in the next few months."

I ignored whatever happened as he told me to lift up my shirt, the ultrasound machine coming into view.

Before I knew it the cold jell on my stomach produced an image onto the screen next to me.

I watched Shelby, Jamie, and Travis reactions before looking, seeing Travie's eyes widened, Shelby bite her lip, and Jamie glow to herself in the light of the screen.

As I finally looked up I couldn't help but identify with Rachel from Friends, not being able to see my baby.

The doctor noticed as pulled out his pen.

"This dark image right here is the fetus. It looks like you're about four to five weeks along."

Like before his words disappeared in my mind, replaced by the black and white image.

This really was happening...