So Kiss Me Goodbye

By the time I got home later Sisky and Natalie were gone and in their place were my support group.

"Hey, there's mommy." Travis exclaimed from the couch.

As I walked in I saw him flanked by Jamie and Shelby on the couch watching Saturday Night Live.

"She comes bearing food." Jamie observed.

I nodded, piling the white Styrofoam boxes into the fridge.

"The Butcher took me out to eat, except I didn't get to that last part." I explained.

Blowing the hair out of my eyes I took advantage of the free space between Travis and Jamie.

I felt all three pairs of eyes on me as the silence thickened.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"Shelby told us what happened, that's why were taking up room on your couch. Feel like talking?" Jamie asked gently.

I shook my head. "I've done enough talking for today. My new goal is find something to look forward to... in the near future."

I added that last bit remembering the milestone of mine in eight months.

Travis chuckled under his breath, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Wow, then you're gonna love me."

"Spill rock star." Shelby said, poking him.

He let out a dramatic sigh before replying.

"Well we kinda got nominated at the VMA's and no offense Shelby, but I think Lilly needs it more to go. So you feel like being my date there on a purely platonic level?"

My mental exhaustion vanished in light of this new information.

"What?"

"You were nominated?"

"Why are you just telling us?!"

Shelby, Jamie, and I's voices all sort of blended together in surprise.

"We're up for best new artist, ironic right since we've been together for ten years. Oh and we're also up against Fall Out Boy but we're so not gonna win that category. Me and the guys voted for them because lets face it, we just can't resist Pete's charm. But anyway we're gonna kick Amy Winehouse's ass!"

Jamie smiled watching him. "He sounds like a teenie."

Travie bit his lip to fight back his smile that would potentially ruin his annoyed pout.

"Do you want to go? There's free food and Pete told me there's a stripper pole thrown in the mix too."

I laughed. "Yeah, stripper poles and Mommy's to be don't generally mix but hell, I'll go for the free food."

His pout continued so I added, "And of course to see you kick those other nominee's asses."

At that his smirk was unleashed.

"This'll be badass! It'll be you and me and the rest of the band, and Cobra Starship and Fall Out Boy, like a warm-up to Decaydance Fest!"

Seeing his happy, almost dreamy smile brought all of us hormonal chicks to an 'awe', yet laughing moment

I smiled along with them, something nagging me in the back of my mind until it emerged from my mental fog.

"There are more than those bands on the bill. What about Panic and TAI?" I asked , apprehensive of the answer.

Travis shrugged. "I think Panic! At the Disco might be there but The Academy Is... is leaving for tour tomorrow till after so I doubt it."

It was as if a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders hearing they were leaving while at the same time my heart felt like it was being tightly squeezed.

Why I still had to be falling for the guy that left me was the fact that kept stabbing me in the gut.

Will was moving on and away and I needed to do the same.

My current situation of feeling sorry for myself and not being happy wouldn't work.

I was pregnant and no matter how many times I said it the situation didn't change.

For this kid to be happy and healthy I'd have to be the same.

In my mind the way to do that was party and celebrate with the people that cared about me like I had done many times before (the difference this time being no alcohol, drugs, etc.)

"When do we leave?"