So Kiss Me Goodbye

I got no sleep that night.

Will's words haunted me till morning, echoing through my mind hour after hour.

What did I want from Will?

A few months ago I wanted him.

Now here was the chance to make everything right and I had no idea what to do.

I waited; laying there in the darkness, till pinpricks of light entered my room through the window.

I always hated that my window faced the east and the sunrise, therefore always waking me up and never letting me fall back asleep.

There was a point in my adolescence where I begged my parents for black out curtains I hated it that much.

Being woken up by the sun pissed me off almost as much as being woken up by the phone.

Now that my mind thought about it and dwelled on it, the thought occurred to me that maybe I wasn't trying to block out the sunlight but maybe it was my way of trying to hang onto my dreams a little longer.

Right now I wished I had something to block this sunlight called reality and just hang onto that world where everything was simple and in my control.

I waited till a little beam of light hit Julian Casablanca's form from my The Strokes poster before I pulled myself out of bed.

The thought of waking up the same time as Will and having to go through that awkward moment wasn't something I was looking forward to.

I didn't bother with getting dressed, just getting out of my room with my cell phone in hand.

The kitchen, which was next to my room and far removed from my parents and siblings rooms (something about remodeling and settling in) was empty and quiet, just the way I liked it.

My stomach growled as a reminder I hadn't eaten since yesterday, causing me to raid the refrigerator and cabinets.

While I made some tea and coffee for everyone else, I searched for something for breakfast.

Maybe pregnancy had an upside.

It encouraged me to have hope in that first most important meal of the day.

As proof of this, five minutes later I was making toast, cooking eggs in a pan, trying not to burn myself of bacon, and for the sake of my health, slicing fruit.

Just as I was finishing my marathon cooking, footsteps echoed through the kitchen.

I was hoping it wasn't Will but when I turned around and saw who it was, I kind of wished it was him.

"Hey Madeline, or should I say Madi, what are you doing up so early?"

She rolled her eyes and pulled up a chair. "I pulled an all nighter."

I raised my eyebrow. "Doing what?"

"None of your business." She quipped.

I decided not to pay her any attention and turned back to my food, putting them each on their own plates.

Sliding them on the table, Madi reached for a piece of bacon.

I slapped her hand away.

"That's my breakfast, you want something make it yourself."

She scoffed. "All of that is yours?"

My eyes narrowed.

"I'm pregnant and eating for two."

Like usual she rolled her eyes.

"It shows."

I ignored her and turned to my food that was beginning to get cold.

It was awkward semi-ignoring Madeline, but she didn't have a problem adding to it.

"So you and William Beckett?"

I glanced up over at here, replying with something of a nod/shrug combination.

She raised her eyebrows. "You don't seem so sure about it. I'd think you'd be happy with your perfect life. You've got the job you always wanted, you've got a baby on the way, the most amazing guy ever, and you're away from us."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

She looked at me, not out of spite or loathing, but out of genuine honesty and curiosity.

"What's going on?

I sighed and leaned back against my chair.

"Everything is a mess."

Madi surprised me by leaning closer, completely intent on hearing what I had to say while I was hesitant.

I continued though, because I needed to get it out of my mind and off my chest.

"Will and I we're... we're complicated. I told him I was pregnant and he left. He came back, obviously, but I'm not sure what's going on with us."

My sister sighed, some of it for me but most of it toward the situation.

"He followed me here from Vegas thanks to Travis. Everybody back there is either trying to get us back together, choosing sides, or deciding to hate both of us. I've already lost a good friend because of it."

Madi looked at me sympathetically but somewhat surprised.

From that look I could tell she had no idea the perfect life she thought I had was falling apart.

"Mom thinks you're getting married."

With an exaggerated drop of my shoulders I replied.

"Mom's delusional. She's nice, but delusional. In her world of doilies and fabric flowers it goes unsaid that if you're having a baby you're getting married. God forbid I'm strong enough to take care of a kid by myself."

"That's how mom is." She explained without needing to. "How are you going to break it to her?"

I though for a moment even though I pretty much knew the answer.

"I'll tell her next time I visit. I don't plan on doing anymore damage control on this reunion, that's why I'm leaving tomorrow. All I want to do is get back in the good graces of you guys. I mean, think about it, it's one thing finding out your daughters pregnant; I don't want to give her a heart attack too."

My words sparked Madi's attention.

"And when are you coming back?"

"Thanksgiving or Christmas, though I don't see why you care. I thought you hated me."

That caught her off guard, making her fumble for an answer.

Nervously she spoke up.

"I'm sorry about that, but I mean you moved all the way to Chicago. You were my best friend, my sister, and you ditched me here. How would you have felt in my place? But if I had known things were that bad with you I would've... would've..."

I put my hand on her shoulder, waking her from her musings.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm more at fault anyway. It's in the past regardless. Let's just go back to being sisters now." I assured her.

She nodded, throwing her arms around me quickly.

"I'm glad you're back."

I smiled, and after the slight shock, put my arms around her just as tightly.

Pulling away after a nice sisterly bonding moment, she broke the silence.

"So if you were at the VMA's who did you see? Oh did you meet any famous rock stars?"

I chuckled, knowing what she meant.

Regardless I decided to be nonchalant about it, just to get to her.

"Oh no one special. Shelby's boyfriend Ryan kind of forced his band mate Brendon to be my escort. Then when I was leaving Vicky-T and Gabe promised to come see us in Chicago again. And of course Pete was doing damage control for a hung over Travie. I gotta tell you, that guy has one hell of a grip when he doesn't want you to leave."

I looked over to see Madi blinking in shock.

Her mouth moved for a few moments before any sound came out.

"Pete as in Wentz? Ryan Ross? Brendon Urie?" She breathed, her voice getting louder in surprise.

I giggled loudly, glad everyone was pretty much still asleep.

While she was stunned I continued.

"Yeah I work for AP; I end up meeting these people at parties and stuff. I'm really good friends with a lot of them. But I mean, they're just really great people and friends. If you come visit I'll introduce you for sure. Travis will be amazed my sister is real."

A grin quickly grew on her face.

Nodding excitedly she replied. "I am so going to visit you now! And actually I wanted to show you something... this might be a good time."

I watched her oddly as she looked back down at the food on the table.

"Well you might want to finish before it gets cold."

She didn't have to say it twice as I sat back down.

Breezily I motioned for her to as well, forking a bit of everything onto a plate to shove at her.

"You might as well eat too."