So Kiss Me Goodbye

"Honey I'm home." Will called out, flopping onto the bed next to me.

I glared at him and rolled over, trying to ignore him.

"What's wrong babe?" He asked softly, touching my shoulder.

I shrugged him off and attempted to bury myself in the blankets, hoping maybe that the warmth would make me feel better.

I was a little less than eight months pregnant and I felt like a swollen, aching whale next to my toothpick of a fiance.

Will attempted to get my attention, or maybe even a smile by snuggling up to me.

After the day I had his chances of getting anything remotely happy out of me was slim to none.

"What happened Lilly? This isn't normal you behavior." He asked softly.

With a sigh I replied, but kept my back to him.

"I got fired."

Will knew by now any consoling words would be wasted on the situation, instead he wrapped his arms around me.

Just his touch brought everything out, how Stacy had slipped to the whole world Will had gotten some whore knocked up and she was forcing him to marry her.

Her doing that via the Internet didn't take long for it to spread like wildfire and reach Leslie, my editor.

With growing pressure from the fans and the staff and knowing the baby would eventually put a strain on my abilities to write, she had no choice but to fire me.

"Oh hon..." Will whispered, stroking my hair as he finally managed to get me to face him.

It wasn’t hard to see the tears that tracked my cheeks, though in my defense most of it was the hormones.

"I really loved my job Will... I risked so much for it and now... it's gone." I cried softly into his chest. "Why do I feel like my mom is right? I am a failure."

Will pulled away immediately to look me straight in the eye.

"Listen to me Lilly, you're mother is not right, you are not a failure. Look at yourself, you left home with nothing and now you've got all this!" Will exclaimed, flinging his arms in a wide gesture.

I looked around at the bedroom, clothes, papers, and other random items were strewn around the room; it wasn’t much of a sight.

"Well I meant it figuratively." Will interjected. "Still, Lilly, look at the bigger picture. Everything you've done... everything you can do... think of AP as a stepping stone to bigger and better things."

With a sigh I nodded, his positive outlook brightening mine at least a little bit.

"And think about it, with the baby almost here working at AP would only make things even more hectic. It was going to happen eventually." He added sadly.

I nodded tiredly, just wanting to stop thinking about everything and melt into nothing.

Will on the other hand had another way to distract me.

"Maybe with the extra time you have you can start planning the wedding maybe?" Will offered nervously.

My eyebrows furrowed together at what he was saying.

"Why are you bringing this up now?" I asked him curiously.

Biting his lip Will replied. "I heard from the label today... I have to fly out and start recording in two weeks. I was hoping maybe we could get married between now and then."

I let out something of a sigh and growl combined and threw a pillow over my head.

"You're such a guy Will! You think things like a wedding can be planned in less than two weeks?" I asked him antagonizing.

He sighed and sat up.

"You are such a chick, over elaborating something that can be simple."

I instantly rolled off the bed, looking down at him angrily.

"This is our fucking wedding Will and you want to take shortcuts! God what is wrong with you? I'm pregnant, unemployed, and my fiance is an ass!" I exclaimed, pacing, ignoring the fact my pace looked more like Brendon's model impression.

"Lilly chill, I didn’t mean to-"

"Don't tell me to chill William!" I yelled shrilly. "I've got enough shit on my mind okay! I'm already worrying our son might hate me like I hate my own mother, or that I'll lose all sense of myself if I depend on your income to keep us afloat."

Will knew there was no point in stopping me now, it'd be like putting water on a grease fire.

"I don't need to stress even more, especially about two hundred plus of your friends and mine attempting to go to our wedding, not to mention all your fucking teeny fans that keep saying they wish I was dead or that I'm some sleazy whore that’s blackmailing you with our baby!"

With a short exhale I began rummaging through my dresser, throwing random t-shirts and jeans into the nearest bag.

"Lilly please!" William consoled, attempting to pull me back reassuringly.

"Don't touch me!" I exclaimed, pushing away as I continued to pack my bag.

While he tried to calm me down I hauled my bag to the door, where I was already calling a cab.

"Lilly don't do this! Please, let's just talk about this. Look I'm sorry, really, it was just a stupid idea I wasn't sure about. I'm sorry about everything, that's why you need to stay, so we can talk all this stuff through." Will continued, letting everything that popped into his head out without thinking.

It was all a mess, I realized, as even though we were together we were a terrible couple when it came to working things out.

Maybe me leaving wasn’t a great solution, but I couldn’t take another second in the apartment where I had been smothering myself with my growing problems and stress since Stacy appeared.

As the car honked below I slung my bag over my shoulder and threw the door open.

"Lilly," Will whispered, holding the door for a moment. "Please don't go."

I sighed, a part of me feeling guilty and the other just wanting to leave.

"I'm sorry." Was all I said as I disappeared out the door.