So Kiss Me Goodbye

Nine hours since everything had gone downhill, William sat shakily in a chair, his heart pounding as he held his son for the first time.

He couldn’t believe the bundle in his arms, the small infant soundly asleep, was his own child.

As his eyes flickered open William smiled, smoothing his hand over the baby's head.

"Hi there little one, I'm your daddy." Will murmured.

The feeling in his heart was like no other as his son looked up at him with his light blue eyes.

Lilly's eyes.

The thought of his love brought back the events from a few hours ago that felt more like an eternity.

First his son had too much fluid in his lungs and began to suffocate, far too much for his little body to take at three weeks premature.

Then Lilly began hemorrhaging from a labor complication and they couldn’t stop the bleeding.

Will's mind went reeling back from the memory as the sun began rising outside, the rays breaking through the window next to him and lighting up the whole room in a warm glow.

As his son took in his first morning he began fidgeting in Will's arms, his features obviously being from Will, crossed with frustration.

"I think he wants his mommy." A voice said weakly.

Will's heart leapt into his throat as he looked up at Lilly, groggily smiling at him from her hospital bed.

"I thought you'd never wake up." He whispered.

Lilly kept the smile on her face, somehow glowing through the paleness that had fallen over her.

If the doctors had never managed to stop the bleeding Will knew he would’ve lost his wife and the love of his life, though it was the blood transfusion and heavy doses of medicines he thanked for having her smiling up at him at that very moment.

"Do you want to say hello to your son?" Will asked, his tears receding as he settled the bundle on her chest, watching her slip her arms around him.

"He's so beautiful." She breathed, near tears herself, brushing her finger across his cheek.

Lilly looked up from her son and to Will, smiling even wider. "I love you Will."

He nodded, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "I didn’t think I’d get to hear you say that again. I love you too Lilly, now more than ever."

A single tear slid down her cheek as she nodded, looking once more at her son.

"We don't have a name for him."

Will bit his lip. "Well, while you were... asleep, I thought of one."

Lilly rose an inquiring eyebrow, letting Will continue.

"How about Zachary?" He offered.

Lilly thought about it a moment before a grin grew on her face.

"I like it, it's perfect, but can I make my own addition?" She asked.

William nodded, wondering what she had in mind.

Her grin only grew.

"How about Zachary William Beckett?" Lilly murmured, looking up to William for his reaction.

His was the same as hers, a smile the likes she had never seen from him before.

"Well then, I guess this is our son, Zachary William Beckett."

Weak as she was, Lilly propped herself up, cradling Zachary.

"Careful Lilly, the doctors said you need to take it really easy." Will chided, brushing some of her hair away.

She sighed in irritation and continued cuddling her son.

"When can we blow this juke joint?"

Will chuckled and brushed back her hair, despite that it wasn’t in the way.

"The doctor said you need to stay for at least two days."

Lilly let out a somewhat loud huff, disturbing Zachary who let out a plaintive wail.

"It's alright sweetie, I'm sorry. Mommy's just a little annoyed." She comforted, nerves, frustration, and love in her voice at once.

Will couldn’t help but be fascinated a little by this new image of Lilly as a mother, seeing her so natural with a baby in her arms.

"I think I might go crazy if I stay in this hospital room for much longer." Lilly muttered to herself.

Will chuckled a little as she began looking around the room.

In the time she had been unconscious their friends had kept the candy stripers busy.

Needless to say the multitude of flowers and various animals saying 'It's a Boy' were enough to distract her from her cabin fever.

"You couldn’t have given them a puzzle in the waiting room?" She laughed.

He shrugged. "Well I was bonding with our son and all."

At the mention of their baby her eyes softened and she looked back down at him.

"So are we okay now? Is he okay?"

Will nodded, leaning in next to them and brushing the strands of hair away from her face.

"He's okay, we're okay, we're better than okay." He assured her with a kiss. "We're parents."