So Kiss Me Goodbye

Crying.

That was the one thing we had never really prepared for.

The endless crying.

It had been about three days since Will and I had slept or eaten, even when we tried to the whole shifts thing.

Will was trying desperately to calm Zackie, patting his back as he held him to his shoulder.

I silently mused to myself, in a moment of clarity after a glance at Will, if any of the fangirls would want him after looking at the bags under his eyes, his five day old stubble, or the spit up on his clean two days ago shirt.

Something in my head questioned if I would want him after looking at that, but unlike the fangirls I had a reason, and it was the feeling in my heart, and of course the baby he was trying to calm.

All I wanted to do was to lay my head on the nearest flat surface and sleep the rest of my life, but instead I hauled myself off the couch where I was doing laundry, and made my way to the nursery.

"I'll give you a break, why don't you try and sleep?" I suggested, taking Zackie from him.

Like a zombie Will nodded and stumbled out of the room.

I sighed, missing the days when it was just Will and I and he'd murmur sweet nothings in my ear, or surprise me with little gestures of love.

"You're lucky I love you." I hummed to Zackie over his pitiful cries.

The little stuffed panda Pete got us caught my eye as I grabbed it and held it up to Zackie.

By the time we had gotten back from the hospital everyone had thrown us a hasty baby shower before they had to go on tour or to work.

We had lined up perfectly each stuffed animal the guys, or 'uncles' had gotten Zackie.

"Look sweetie, the panda Uncle Pete got you." I cooed, making the panda dance.

It didn’t work at first but after a moment his eyes began following the black and white fluff, his cries fading with interest.

I continued making him dance in the air, bouncing Zackie with me slightly till his eyes became half lidded.

After a minute he had fallen asleep.

I almost sighed in relief but I was afraid that'd wake him so, once I had made sure he was asleep, I gently laid him in his crib.

As I walked into the bedroom to maybe get a few blessed hours of sleep, I found Will there, sprawled across the bed.

Normally I'd be nice and understanding but with my sleep deprived mind all I saw was Will in the way of my sleep.

So naturally I shoved him over, waking him up.

"Hey!" He muffled into the mattress.

"I'm tired too now scoot over." I muttered, crashing into the bed next to him.

He did it without complaint, both of us falling into an unheard of, blissful silence till Will opened his mouth.

"It's quiet."

"It was quiet." I muttered.

"What did you do?" He asked, looking up at me with shining eyes.

"I sold my soul to the devil." I replied, snuggling deeply into the bed.

Will didn’t get a chance to say anything as there came a knock on the door.

The most words we had exchanged that day ended up being in an argument to see who'd answer it.

Eventually I shoved Will off with my foot and gloriously claimed the bed like the victor I was, letting him grumble his way to the door.

I vaguely heard a few voices with Will's but the bed was like an opiate and I was way too tired to care.

"Lilly get up!" A voice squealed, shattering my comfort.

In bleary eyes I looked up toward the doorway to see Madi grinning.

"Madi, get bent." I growled, shoving my head under the pillow.

She laughed me off. "Oh Lilly come on, I haven’t seen you in a week! How are you and Will and my little nephew?"

I attempted to crawl out of bed but stopped halfway from moving my hand.

"Kill sister later, sleep now." I murmured, closing my eyes.