So Kiss Me Goodbye

I awoke the next morning to the alarm clock blaring next to my ear.

It was a weird thing since neither Will nor I ever set the alarm clock, but each blaring ring brought me closer and closer to what happened last night till I couldn't get Will's words out of my head, repeating each time like a knife in my heart.

I just hope you make the right decision before it’s too late.

Those words got me out of bed quicker than any alarm, making a bubble of confidence grow inside me, wanting to confront Will.

Our first real fight still had adrenaline coursing through my veins but I wanted to finish what I started.

I had to storm through three of the rooms before I remembered the flight went out today and, after realizing the apartment was empty I realized something else.

He left.

For whatever reason, instinct maybe, I ran into the baby's room, letting out a sigh of relief seeing Zackie there.

On the blanket next to him there was a note and two envelopes labeled A and B.

I recognized the handwriting instantly as Will's.

With shaking hands I picked it up and began to read.

Lilly, I told you last night I wanted you to make the right decision before it's too late.

Well it might be.

I'm taking an earlier flight out to LAX today to give you enough time to decide whether you want to come and follow me or stay in Chicago.

I want you to know it wasn’t easy for me to leave Zackie with you but I know I had to, even if I'm risking losing him for a long time; if I had taken him with me I know you and him wouldn’t make it.

I love you Lilly, so much it hurts, and hurts even more having to leave you behind.

I know you're scared about leaving everything after we just settled down, and that we won't make it if we go on tour but I believe in us, and if you'd come with me I promise I'll do the believing for the both of us if I have to.

So in case you didn’t realize it I was the one that set the alarm clock to give you enough time to make up your mind and do what you want.

If you want to stay in Chicago I won't bother you.

We'll record and go on tour, the only thing I ask of you is that you let me see Zackie whenever I can.

In the envelope labeled 'A' there's a check for six thousand dollars to cover you and Zackie for now, though if you need more just call me.

But if you do come to LA there are two tickets for a later flight in the envelope labeled 'B'.

I took the liberty of packing your bags and Zackie's, just in case so if you do come you don't waste time packing and miss the flight.

I've taken care of everything and if you do decide to come I'll be waiting for you at the airport.

There's nothing I wouldn’t do for you Lilly; I've never loved anyone more than you.

Maybe I'm a pushover for doing all of this for you even with a chance of our marriage ending but I want to know that you're with me because you want to and not because you feel forced.

This may be the work of a rambling lunatic in love but I'll do whatever I can to make things right, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness.

Do what you need to do for you and Zackie but whatever you choose I want you to know I'll always be here for you, no matter where here is.

Love always, Will

As I finished reading Will's letter I was a little surprised to feel tears falling down my cheeks.

There was so much rushing through my head at once, all my fears, worries, heartaches, and loves filling my mind.

In one hand I held the envelope containing the check, while the other hand the tickets.

They no sooner could've been the future of my marriage.

Take the plane ticket and go live on a whim with Will and Zackie.

Take the check and resign myself to all that came with leaving Will; the friend's I'd made, the love of my life, and my own life, all for the freedom of myself and the future of my son.

With a deep breath I wiped away the tears and grabbed one of the envelopes.