Lone Wolf.

The earth feels warm under my nails as I look out to the lake, letting the sound of the rippling water calm me. I never used to be an early riser, but it was hard not to love the peace and quiet that fell over the forest in the morning.
Bartlett lake was the exact kind of escape I needed when the city got too loud. It offered me isolation and displayed beauty that made me love Arizona. It was also the perfect location to get cleaned up. Probably not the wisest idea, considering it was in the heart of a National forest, but it was pretty vacant the majority of the time. I’d only almost been caught once.
Taking a deep breath, I stretch my body along the soil and dirt. My bones stretch and I can feel them changing. Once I see my ten fingers splayed out in front of me on the ground, I slowly rise to my feet. My neck felt stiff and I groan, almost wanting to switch right back. It felt more natural, especially if I was in the wilderness.
I make my way over to the tree I’d hidden my clothes under a pile of leaves and bend down for them, but once I notice the dried up mud and pieces of grass sticking to my forearms, I knew I’d have to get clean before heading back to Pheonix. If the guys saw me like this they would ask questions on what the hell I’d been doing. I didn’t need them pestering me.
“Fuck it,” I mumble as I trod into the lake, scooping some up in my palms to splash my face. When I’m about waist deep in I lift my hand to my face but stop myself before my tongue could touch my arm. I almost forget sometimes when I’m in human form.
I start scrubbing them with my nails instead in silence, listening to the occasional birds passing by. I think I liked this place more than I did my own home. Being out on dry land and right by the next best thing to an ocean beat being cooped up and confined by four walls. Next to the ocean, though this was slowly becoming my favorite-
There’s a rustling in the bushes and my ears perk up.
I run my hands through my hair, heart pounding. Shit, I hope it wasn’t an official from the forest or anything. This was technically their property and I was trespassing. I’m regretting having transformed too early, if I’d just waited the most he could have done is shoo me away. Then again, I didn’t really want to take the risk of being shot-
My eyes land on the girl coming in from the trees. Her scent quickly fills my nostrils; my senses were always extra sensitive after having just shifted back.
Her blue eyes and mouth both seem to smile at me. “Pretty sure you’re not supposed to be swimming around here.”
I feel my face flush as I rub my neck. “I’m, uh, not exactly swimming…”
Her eyes widen. “O-Oh. Sorry. I didn’t know you were, uh-“
“It’s fine,” I chuckle, my voice feeling strange. It’s as dry as when I wake up in the mornings.
I notice she doesn’t have anything with her. She definitely didn’t come here to catch fish. My mouth pulls up into a smirk. “But what are you doing here then? If you weren’t planning on swimming?”
She catches my accusatory tone and scoffs. “I was just gonna dip my feet in. Mind if I join you?”
“Company wise or skinny dipping?” I ask with a laugh as she peels off her sneakers.
The woman rolls her eyes and drops down on the ground, her legs just shy of the water as her toes slip in. She sits back on her hands sighing. I take the moment to observe her. She had almost jet black hair, though it shone a shade of brown in the sunlight. Her skin was soft and a light tan, the dimples on her cheeks making her face light up when she grinned.
“So, you have a name?” she asks.
“John,” I nod. I kneel awkwardly in the water to float. It felt strange just standing there while she sat comfortably across from me.
“I’m Serena,” she introduces sweetly, those dimples stretching across her face. They made her look so innocent. It made my blood race through my veins for some odd reason.
“Do you live around here?” I ask curiously, involuntarily cocking my head to one side. It was a habit.
"Visiting," is all she says and I raise an eyebrow, waiting for more.
“Well, I’m from here, but I was stopping by after a week in California,” she explains, tucking her hair behind her ear. I couldn’t help but notice the cute freckle on the side of her lobe.
I bite my lip, returning to my scrubbing. “I see.”
“What about you? What are you doing out here? Dont’cha have a working shower?” she teases.
I scowl as she giggles, my eyes narrowing playfully. “Yes,” I retort. “I just…I don’t know, I enjoy the view. It’s nicer out here. More relaxing.”
She nods in understanding and stretches her legs out more, letting her toes skim above the water. “Yeah, I getcha. I can’t stand the city sometimes; I prefer it out here.”
It grows quiet, the only sound the tiny waves of the lake when we moved our limbs.
“So, uh, are you just gonna watch me when I get out?” I mutter.
Serena laughs and flings a pebble at me, but I quickly swerve to the side before it can hit me. Laughing, I search for another pebble beneath the water.
My nose catches a new scent and it was quickly approaching.
I look over my shoulder, a growl erupting from my throat. She jumps but I wasn’t wrong. A built guy approaches, his hands in his pockets. She isn’t startled however, and quickly rises to her feet to throw her arms around his neck.
“Hey, you,” I hear her mumble.
“Hey.” He eyes me for a moment before pulling away. “I was looking for you. We should probably head back to our room. It’s supposed to rain.”
She pouts at him. “But our hike-“
“We can go later,” he chuckles. Serena sighs and turns to me, shrugging her shoulders. “I should get going. You might want to get out before it rains.”
I nod. “Thanks,” I tell her softly. She picks up her sneakers from the ground, looking up to meet my gaze. I stare at her intently, holding my gaze as I would a wild doe. Hers were just as innocent and wide.
“It was nice to meet you,” I mumble.
She bites her lip and whispers, “You too.”
She stands back up and soon, I watch her go. The sky seemed to turn dull rather quickly as she left, leaving me with my thoughts and the trees.
Well, I was used to being the lone wolf.
Sighing, I climb out of the water and shake myself off, whipping my head to dry my hair before slipping into my pants and shirt. Luckily I’d folded them up so they don’t look like they’d just been chucked under a pile of leaves like they were.
I eventually find my way back to my truck, staying barefoot for the time being.
My eyes flicker over to the horizon as I pass by the forest I’d just resided in, and watch it slowly transform into desert. It starts to drizzle as the sound hits my windshield, the soft patter soothing me.
I venture further out until I’m finally back in Phoenix. I drive to Tim’s house, where the guys and I were supposed to have a meeting about the next upcoming tour. I was both excited and anxious; tour always made me feel most at home, but the least myself. I felt underexposed when there were too many people around. It got suffocating at times, especially when I was forced to the confinements of a bunk.
All throughout the meeting I find myself absently staring out the screen door, where I could see the few trees in his backyard. It made me want to go back, to where I could forget all my worries, be one with nature. Of course I felt comfortable around my friends, but I could never tell them how I really was. I’d known these guys almost all my life, but they wouldn’t understand what I am. Hell, I didn’t even know. In a sense, the boys were like my pack; at least as a human. But out there, I was on my own.
“John,” Kennedy calls to me and I shake myself out of my daze.
It’d just have to wait for now.
~
I couldn’t drive fast enough through the desert. I didn’t know why but my breathing was ragged and I was desperate to hurry back to Bartlett lake. The urge was overwhelming; my skin was scorching hot and my fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard my knuckles were white. I was almost sure I’d shift, my body transforming on its own.
I reach the outskirts of the lake and I don’t bother parking my truck in a secluded spot. I leave it on the side of the road and run through the trees, stopping and bracing myself against a tree, resting my head against the cool wood. It was getting dark, so I knew it was safe.
Removing my jeans and shirt, I gulp for air and lean back against the bark, sinking down. My spine shudders as the magic ripples through me. God, it was such a bitch shifting. Turning back into human form was by far way easier.
A feeling of a relief flows through as the pain ebbs, admiring the dirt and grass beneath my four limbs.
I wander for a bit, just winding down from the long dragging day. The breeze ruffles my long dark gold and white fur as I scurry through the wind, prancing happily until I reach the lake. This was my happy place, my sanctuary. With the rocks and dried up dirt beneath my paws, and nose sniffing at the ground, breathing in the pure woods. It was such a simpler life. As much as I loved performing, this was a retreat I could never replace.
I dip my head down towards the water and lap it up, trying not to think of the fact of how filthy it probably was. It was refreshing and it’s all I really cared about. If I was going to be a wild animal, I had to act like one. Wolves didn’t exactly sip from teacups.
Licking my muzzle, I suddenly become very aware of the urgent voice at a distance. There were two pairs of footsteps, and one were forced steps, that I could tell. As if the person was being dragged along. The way their walk tripped along the rocks gave it away.
Cautiously, I follow the noise as I hide in the shadows, lowering to my hind legs. Finally, the couple stops by a nearby tree and I freeze when I catch the scent.
It was Serena.
“Please,” she whimpers, desperation and pleading dripping from her voice. The bastard from before had her pinned. “Please, Charlie, don’t do this.”
“I didn’t fucking bring you here just so we could lie in bed and ‘cuddle.’” He spits the word out, disgusted. “I’ve been patient enough.”
“No, s-stop-“
I lurch forward, growling as I bare my teeth. The man pulls away, his hands in front of him. Serena doesn’t move, simply watching.
Her back stays glued to the tree as I snap at his feet, forcing him to back away.
“Goddamn dog,” he mutters. His eyes flicker back to her for a moment and I growl low in my throat, my fur sticking up. I was ready to pounce if he didn’t back off.
“I’m going back to the room. Fuck this.” He cowers away slowly, not even looking back as he starts running.
I huff and rise fully on my legs, slightly puffing my chest out. Some man.
My nose in the air, I turn back to Serena. Her eyes were wide and her hands were shaking. I really hoped she wasn’t afraid of me.
Showing her that I meant no harm, I whine and duck my head, offering her my head. I’d never come into contact with someone before as a wolf, but I was suddenly intrigued. In this body, she just seemed like a new species. Nor human, nor animal, but something I don’t think I’d ever encountered before.
Slowly, she reaches out to pet my head and my ears twitch happily. Her touch was so gentle.
I raise my head to sniff her hand, my wet nose feeling extra cold against her warmth. I dig my face into it and she lightly scratches my neck, feeling my fur. She looked so astounded.
Suddenly, her eyes land on mine and I feel completely exposed. I couldn’t look away, too drawn in by the blue of her irises to tear myself from her gaze. She was beauty herself, like the forest, like the lake, and I knew I would probably never see her again after this. So I kept staring to take it in.
I could see the recognition in her eyes, and I knew she could see them in mine.
“I-I, you…John,” she breathed, and it wasn’t a question. My green eyes were all too easy to recognize.
I turn away before she could have the chance to say anything else. I run all around the exterior of the lake, nearly on the opposite side. Call it instinct or call it fear, but I couldn’t allow myself to stay around her. The moment she spoke my name, it just felt too dangerous.
Slowing to a stop, I come across a point, where the land slanted upwards. I make my way up the hill until I was basically looking over the rest of the forest. I could spot the lake from here, and it’s not long before I see Serena burst through the trees, searching frantically. My bones inside felt like they were shaking as a sadness rose in my chest. Even as a wolf this loneliness never left.
The night shone down on me and I tip my head back, willingly letting out a cry.
I was still howling at the moon.