Saturday

I always was excited and happy to spend the day with my brother. All week, I would impatiently wait for Saturday to show up so I could spend part of the afternoon at the institute and see him. That week, I found myself being even more exicted as usual. There were two persons I was going to hang with on that special Saturday. Not only was I going to see Ben; I was also going to see Ashton, the guy I've met a few weeks before.

I didn't know why, but I found myself being very interested in Ashton. I found myself wanting to take away all of his pain and make him feel better the best that I could. I didn't like the idea of him being lonely, rejected and sad. I wanted him to be happy and to have a bright future. But for now, he needed someone to talk to, someone to hold on to. I wanted to be that person.

That's why I got to Polar Inc. at 11am instead of 1pm. I would usually show up at 1PM and hang with Ben for a few hours. This time was different. Just like I had promised Ashton the previous week, I was going to spend a few hours with him before my usual rendez-vous with my dearest brother. I could visit anytime that I wanted to. After they got Ashton's permission, the nurses added me to his visitors' list along with his mother who never dared to show up. Plus, the staff trusted me enough since I had been a regular visitor for months.

I hoped that I didn't pressure Ashton in letting me visit him on every Saturday of each week. I didn't want him to hang with me if he didn't want to. I didn't want to be forced to spend time with someone he didn't want to be near by. I only wanted to make him happy by spending some quality time together. I wanted to spend more time with him and I hoped he felt the same.

My fears faded away when I got to his room. When he saw me in the doorframe, his face brightened up. He was wearing the most beautiful smile, just like the one that he gave me the first time that we met in Ben's room. Ashton's smile could have lighten up the whole room by itself. It was very powerful and I wanted to see that smile more often.

Ashton stood up from his bed and walked to me before hugging me tightly. He was craving for comfort and I sure was going to give him some. He wrapped his arms around me, and I did the same. He was so small and delicate that I was afraid to break him. I could tell he felt safe in my arms and the thought made me much happier than I already was.

"You came, you actually came!" Ashton said happily.

"Of course I did. I'm not the type of guy who breaks his promises. I keep them. Plus, I want to hang out with you because you seem to be a nice guy," I replied.

"You barely know me though," Ashton said.

"Maybe I don't, but that why I'm here for. I'm here today so we can get to know each other a little more, well if you want to of course," I said.

Why did I want to know so much about him? I couldn't tell. There just was something about him that made me want to be around him. There was something about Ashton that was attracting me, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Well, yeah, I guess I'd like that. There's not much to know about me though, but yeah. Let's get to know each other," Ashton replied.

"I'm pretty sure there are many interesting things about you Ashton and I can't wait to discover every single one of them, one by one," I replied.

Ashton just looked at me smiling. It seemed like he was looking at an alien or a zombie. Maybe I had something on my face. I was confused. Why was he looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong? And then, I understood why he gave me that look.

"Oh, it sounded a little subjective and sexual didn't it?" I wondered. "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry for the confusion, really oh my god."

"A little yeah haha, it's okay though, don't worry. I've heard worst," he replied smiling. How I wished he could be smiling all the time.

We both sat on his bed facing each other. The more I looked at him, the more I realized he was actually quite handsome and adorable. He was just a boy like me who just wanted to live and be happy, in the end. How could people want to hurt a guy like Ashton when he actually looked like a sweetheart? It just didn't make sense to me.

"So... How was your week?" I asked.

"Two words: long and boring. It's always the same thing every day. It's always the same stupid routine and I'm already sick of it. I don't feel comfortable in here. Yeah, the staff is nice, but I hate that they pretend to know what's best for me. I mean, they don't know me. I just feel misunderstood all the time and it sucks. Plus, I can't make any friends. I can't seem to fit in here, or anywhere else in this world. I had your brother by my side when I first was admitted. But now, he's pissed at me and I don't even know why. Finally, they're forcing me to eat three meals a day and I hate it. How am I supposed to get skinny and get rid of all that fat if they make me eat their nasty food? So yeah, boring week. My only motivation this week that helped me go through the days was the hopes of seeing you again today because you seem to be the only person in this big world who doesn't judge me. How about you? How was your week out there in the real world?" Ashton answered.

I felt a strange but good feeling in my stomach when Ashton said I was the person who motivated him this week. I loved that I could make him feel better. I loved that I could have an impact on his life. I also felt sad when he indirectly called himself fat, but I knew that he would not want me to tell him that he wasn't. Nurses only took care of that. My goal was to make him happier, not pressure him.

"Well, I hope that next week will be better for you. As for me, I had a pretty normal week. I went to school, I did some homework because I'm pretty studious, I jammed with my friends and now, here I am, spending time with my favorite curly haired guy," I replied.

"And you're my favorite blonde guy. Serioulsy, I'll never be able to thank you enough for showing up today. It means a lot to me that some guy I barely know cares enough about me to allow me some of his precious time that he could spend doing much funnier stuff. It's really nice to have someone to talk to for the first time in forever," Ashton mentionned.

"The pleasure is mine, Ashton. I'm happy to be here as well. So, how about we play 21 questions? It just a little to help us get to know each other better? You know, like the best buds that we are and will become!" I proposed.

"Yeah sure, sounds fun," he agreed.

So that's how we spent the rest of the time we had togheter, just asking each other random questions. By the end of the game, I knew much more about him and I felt much closer to him. I felt like this was the beginning of a great friendship.

I learned that Ashton could play the drums. I knew that guy had secret talents. I hoped that we would have the occasion to jam together once he would get out of the institute. I could sing and play the guitar while he could play the drums. Even though he said he wasn't that good, I was convinced that he was excellent.

I also learned that his favorite colour was blue, just like me, and that his favorite meal was lasagna. He told me that he was scared of snakes and spiders. I also found out that he had a great musical taste, his favorite bands being All Time Low, You Me At Six and Nirvana. Finally, I learned that his favorite pizza topping was mushroom and that he hated pepperoni. How could he hate pepperoni when it tastes like life?

I felt kind of sad when I saw it was almost 1 o'clock. I wanted to spend more time with Ashton, I would have spent the entire afternoon with him if I could, but it wasn't possible. Ben was waiting for me and I didn't want to let him down. Je needed me.

I didn't want to make him wait either. He got mad at me the previous week for stanging up for Ashton during therapy and for spending most if it with him. He was absolutely jealous of Ashton and that explained why he wouldn't talk to Ashton anymore. He didn't know what he was misssing though.

"I don't want you to go," Ashton said as we shared a goodbye hug.

"I need to, Ben needs me. But I'll be back next week okay Ash? Same time, same place. I promise," I replied.

"You don't have to come back if you don't want to," he said sadly.

"Hey, don't be sad Ash, of course I want to come back and spend more time with you. I had fun today and that is what friends are there for," I assured him.

"Friends?" He wondered.

"Yup, friends. For now on, consider me as a friend who won't let you down and who'll be there for you,'' I answered.

"Friends, I love that word. I've been starving for friend for as long as I can remember. It feels good to finally have one. Thanks Lukey," he replied smiling. His beautiful smile; I wanted more. I needed more.

"I'll see you next week, Ash! Until then, hold on. You're a warrior, you can do it. If you ever need to talk to someone during the week, ask the staff for my number and give me a call, okay?" I said happily.

"Okay Lukey! Again, thanks for everything. I can't wait to see you next week. Bye!" he replied.

''Bye Bye!'' I said.

Yeah, we even gave each other's nicknames. He would call me Lukey and I would call him Ash. I first wanted to call him Ashy but he warned me to never call him that ever again because it was an horrible and ugly nickname.

When I met my brother in his room, he was pissed off because he learned that I was with Ashton. I wanted to hide it from him because I knew he wouldn't be happy about that. I guess my plan backfired me. I usually had fun visiting my brother, but that time, I didn't have any. I loved my brother, but he sometimes went way too far.

Ben would keep saying bad stuff about Ashton. He probably didn't mean them, Ben had that bad habit to say nasty stuff about people whenever he got mad. He once called our mother a nasty lesbian bitch and our father an ugly pedophile full of shit. Yeah, my brother could get prett mean.

The thing he told me that shocked me the most was when he said that a guy like him didn't deserve any form of attention or caring. But he was wrong.

It's crazy how much I could care about Ashton after such a small amount of time spent together. We only had seen each other thrice a d talked properly twice. And I was going to make sure that those numbers would get bigger and bigger. And I knew that I would find myself caring even more about Ashton with time. And that wasn't a problem to me. In fact, I couldn't wait for it to happen.