Status: Active <3

Saturday

Chapter 5

Ashton called me thrice that week for different reasons. The first time, he simply called me because he was bored and wanted someone to talk to before he had to go to therapy. We mostly talked about music and how certain bands are awesome. We discussed about the best show that we've even been. Ashton's was You Me At Six and mine was All Time Low.

I loved that we shared pretty simliar tastes, I could make him my new show partner once he would be out of Polar Inc. The thought of going to an All Time Low show together made me smile. I imagined ourselves front row, fangirling over them.

When he called me the second time, I thought he was just bored again and that we would talk about some random stuff again. That was not the case. When I picked up my phone, I heard Ashton crying. It broke my heart a little, a lot should I say. Ashton told me the whole story where he got caught making himself throw up after breakfast.

He told me how one of the nurses seemed pretty disappointed in him and how she gave him that big speech on how unhealthy what he did was. I would have punched her, that wasn't a good way to make Ashton feel better. He didn't need to feel even worst about himself. He also told me how he was now on intensive watch. After each meal, he would have a nurse following around the institute to make sure he didn't make himself throw up again. Ashton told me how he felt like he was being treated like a child and how he hated it.

I wished I could have been there for him, to comfort him and to tell him that things were going to be okay. I wanted to go see him, but I couldn't since I had school and that visits ended at the same time as my last class. I wanted to hug Ashton. It seemed like nobody else truly understood him the thought made me sad. At least we could talk on the phone until we would see each other again. That was better than nothing.

The third time he called me, he was once again crying. He just said how he hated being in there and how he wished he was dead. His words hurt like knives. I didn't like hearing him say that he wanted to be dead. He was young, he should have been enjoying life, not wanting to end it. So for ours, I tried to disctract him by telling him some jokes. I got a few laughs from him and that was all I was asking for. Talking to me made him feel better and he was excited that we would finally see each other again the next day.

It was Saturday, my favorite day of the week. At 11am sharp, I was standing at Ashton's door. He was in his bed, reading. He was so capitvated into whatever he was reading that he didn't even see me coming into his room. The way he was so focused on his book made him even cuter than usual. Did I ever mention that Ashton was cute?

''Hey Ash,'' I said happily.

''Lukey! You're here,'' Ashton replied smiling. ''I'm very happy that you're finally here.''

He put his book away and tapped on his bed, wanting me to seat next to him. So I did. It felt good to finally be here. I had the urge to hug him, so I did. Ashton was the best hugger in the whole world.

''How are you today?'' I asked.

''Better now that you're here. The whole week as actually been total hell, like you already know. I'm sorry for calling you thrice this week, I just really needed to talk to someone and you're actually the only I want to talk to. I hope that I didn't disturb you too much and that you didn't find me annoying or anything,'' Ashton answered.

''Well, I'm glad that you're feeling good. Happy Ashton is my favorite Ashton. And seriously Ash, you can call me whenever you want, whatever the time or day. I'm your friend and I'm here for you. I love talking to you and you're not annoying at all,'' I assured him.

It was the complete the truth. I loved talking to Ashton. He could have called me at 2 in the morning that I would have picked up my phone. I think that what I enjoyed the most was that he trusted me enough to tell me all about his fears, his sorrows and his joys. I felt wanted and appreciated and that was a good feeling. It was nice knowing that I had such a special place in Ashton's life. And he also had one in mine.

''There's a question I wanted to ask you last week when he played that game but I didn't have time to ask it,'' Ashton said smiling. If his smile was the last image I would see before dying, it would be a perfect death.

''Sure, go ahead,'' I replied.

''What's your most embarassing moment?'' Ashton asked happily.

''Oh, you sure you want to knoe?'' I answered laughing.

''Yup. Come on Lukey, please!'' He begged.

''Okay so eum. A few years ago, I was in my history class. It was so boring. We were talking about how different products were traded, nothing that I really cared about. So, I kind of fell asleep in the middle of the class. I was awoken by this loud noise. I was so scared that I actually peed in my pants in front of everyone. I was so embarassed, I just wanted to hide in a hole and never come out of it. I had to spend the rest of the day wearing old and diry sweat pants and people laughed at me for an entire week,'' I explained.

Ashton was laughing loudly. I didn't think that my story would make him laugh that much, but it did. He had the cutest laugh in the history of cute laughs. Everything about him was simple adorable. Ashton Adorable Irwin.

''Hey, stop laughing at my misery,'' I said, trying to look angry but completely failed.

''Sorry, this is just too hilarious,'' Ashton replied smiling.

''Well, since you got to ask me one more question, I get to ask you another one,'' I pointed out. There was one thing I wanted to know about Ashton. That was my chance.

'' It sure sounds fair to me, go ahead,'' he replied.

''If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be and why?'' I asked.

''Man, that's a hard one. Eum, first I think I would wish to go to Canada. I have always wanted to go to Canada, it seems to be a pretty nice country with the snow. And I heard that maple syrups was one of the greatest invention of God. I would use my second wish to be taller. It sometimes suck to be the tiny guy. It has way more perks than avantages. And eum, finally, I would use my third wish to get out of here just because,'' Ashton answered.

''Yeah, Canada sure sounds like a nice country. I don't think I would go there though, I hate cold weather and snow. But I'm not against tasting some maple syrup, you'll just have to bring some back for me. And, I think that being short makes you cute. You wouldn't be you if you were taller. Finally, I understand that you hate it in here and I can't blame you. I've heard my brother complain about this place since he first got admitted. But you need to hold on Ash, you need to be strong. And one day, you'll get out of this place. One day things will get better, I promise,'' I replied.

''I just feel like I'm not strong enough, I just want to give up. A part of me wants to get better, but another part of me doesn't. I don't know which side of me will win and it's kind of killing me alive,'' Ashton explained sadly.

''Try to focus on the side of you that wants to get better. I know that deep inside of you, that's what you really want. That is what I want for you. I want you to get better, I want you to enjoy life and be happy. You deserves what's best Ash,'' I replied, taking him in a hug.

It's crazy how his emotions could switch rapidly. He was so happy and then, in a blink of an eye, he was all sad. I was there for him, in the lows and ups. If I couldn't handle him in his worst, I didn't deserve him at his best. No matter how sad and depressed Ashton was feeling, I would still care enormoulsy.

''You always know what to say to make me feel better Lukey. How I wish he could have met years ago, where I would have needed you the most. At least you're here now, thank you,'' Ashton said.

''I wish we could have met before as well. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere because you're my friend and I care about you. We still have many years in front of us. Imagine us when we will be 80 years old, playing Bingo in our nursing home,'' I replied smiling.

''Oh my yes, and drinking coffee while we would remember our best memories together. Yeah, I totally can see that happen,'' Ashton replied.

We then discussed about how he wanted our futures to be. Ashton said the he just wanted to be happy. He wished that he would meet a guy that would love him for him and that would respect him. That boy would be to lucky to have a guy like Ashton in his life. Finally, he said that he would like to travel the world because traveling is one of his passions. He would love to discover different cultures and see the beauties of the world.

As for me, I told Ashton that, just like him, I would also love to meet the love of my life. I always wanted to have my own little family, with a loving husband and some adorable kids. I also told him about my secret dream to persue a musical career. I told him how I'd like to start a solo career and win my life with my music. Ashton said he would the first one to buy tickets to my first show and that he would be my biggest fan. It was nice to have his support. When I told my parents about that dream, they just laughed and said that I should stick to what I do best: study.

Ashton also talked to me about how he would love to leave an heritage. He didn't want to live just to be forgotten after his death, he wanted to have an impact, do something meaningful wheter it was discovering new flora or finding a cure to some illness. I loved how he had such beautiful goals, I admired him for that.

When the clock indicated it was time for me to leave, I was sad. I knew I would see him the next week, but I didn't want to go. I was going to miss him. It's crazy how I could care about him and how much he always was on my mind. It's crazy how I thought he was one of the greatest boy I have ever met. It's crazy how I thought he was aboslutely beautiful, in the inside and on the outside.

When he shared one last hug before I had to go meet my brother. Time just passed so quickly, it always happen when you're with someone you appreciate a lot. On the phone or face to face, time always went by so fast because of Ashton.

When I left his room and he gave me one last gorgeous smile, it all made sense to me. I understood why I cared so much about Ashton. I understood why I couldn't stop thinking about him and how I couldn't help but think he was adorable. I understood why I wanted to spend more time with him and just hug him forever. I only had one explaination. I had a legitimate crush on Ashton Irwin. And I liked it.