I Fell Into a Burning Ring of Fire

The last day of summer is always the worst, you want to make the most of it but in the back of your head is always the thought that tomorrow is the end, tomorrow is the day I have to go back to hell. Everyone always has big plans for summer, they want to have a bonfire and celebrate the end. Not me I just want to mourn it, I want to make sure that I have everything ready for the first day back to school and make sure that I won’t make a fool of myself on the first day back. I have ever been very outgoing, I was for sure the more introverted between my sister and I. She was all smiles and constantly making friends with other people, she was in drama class and took dance. Everyone loved her, my whole life people would be friends with me just so they could get to her and be friends with her or ask me for her number so they could try to go out with her. But that’s a whole other story.

Tomorrow was my first day of my second year of high school, the first year hadn’t been so great and I didn’t see the second one getting any better. I didn’t really have any friends of my own, I just hung out with my sister and her friends and they seemed to accept me for the most part. I had tried the year before to make friends of my own and to date the guy I had been crushing on for two years, Eric Mack. I had had the biggest crush on him for most of middle school and my freshmen year I thought it was my time, he asked me out he wanted to be my boyfriend and I was so happy. For about a week. Turns out he just wanted to kiss me sometimes and that’s it, he didn’t actually care about me. He bailed the second I told him that I got depressed sometimes, he said he couldn’t handle that, he told me he loved me but he couldn’t handle someone that wasn’t happy. I can’t say that I was heart-broken because we didn’t even date for that long, I was just sad that I lost a friend and any hope that boys could or would like me for who I am. But I was going to put all of that behind me this year, I was just going to concentrate on school and ignore the rest.

“Hey Briar, what’s with the sad face? You look fine, that’s the perfect outfit for school.” My sister comes barging into my room and throws herself onto my bed, she is wearing jean cut off shorts and a lime green tank top that shows just enough of her belly to show off her pierced naval. Her long lean legs tanned to a perfect golden hue that makes it look like she spent every day of the summer lounging in the sand at the beach in a bikini. Her light brown hair highlighted with natural blond from all of the sunshine she got over the past three months, her blue green eyes sparkling with mischief. “Come to the beach with me, I’m meeting Tim and Will down there.” She wiggles her eyebrow suggestively.

“I don’t know Scar, I really want to get everything ready for tomorrow.” I sigh nervously and sit down on the floor leaning my back against my bed and looking at myself in the mirrors on my closet. I sit there wearing my first day of school outfit, a pair of black skinny jeans with silver studs on the pockets, a pair of old dirty white high top converse, and a red t-shirt made of a light enough material that I won’t sweat all day since it’s still going to be in the high eighties. My lightly tanned arms crossed over my stomach and my black hair pulled into a sloppy bun on top of my head, my sisters legs dangle next to me on the bed as I stare at myself wondering what I should do. My sister is my best friend and I want to be more like her, I want to want to go hang out with her friends and make friends but I just can’t muster the energy to care. I know that I’m probably just having an “off day” that if I go out with her that I will have fun and make her happy.

“Oh come on Bri, come with me! It’ll be fun, Ellie and Kent are on their way over here and then we are going to meet Tim and Will down at the beach. Come on, you know I hate leaving you.” She slides off the bed and hugs her arms around my neck with a wide smile on her face. “Pleeeasssseeeee sissy, come with us.” I sigh and force a smile on my face before nodding my head. She squeals with delight that causes me to flinch from her. “Yay I’m going to change into my swimsuit, you do the same and then we’ll get a ride from mom. Ok break!” She runs out of my room and into hers to change. I wonder where she gets all the energy sometimes before I realize it’s probably just because I’m depressed.

I slowly stand up and start undressing tossing my clothes for tomorrow onto my backpack and pulling on my red bikini. My mind keeps wandering to Eric and thinking about what he’s doing today, if he is at the beach or at home or with his friends or some other girl. He was so cute, taller than me, which is pretty impressive considering I’m pushing six feet, pale as skim milk, piercing blue eyes, blond hair and a wide mischievous smile. He had wide palms and strong hands and arms, he was a good friend of mine and now he wouldn’t even talk to me, hadn’t talked to me since he stopped dating me a few weeks before summer. He was kind of a part animal, he liked to do drugs, drink, and make bad decisions. Since he had broken up with me I had spent most of my summer with my sister and her friends, Tim and Will seemed to like spending time with me, and I usually like the girl’s night sleep overs with Ellie and Kent. I pulled an overlarge tank top that went down to mid-thigh on over my swim suit and yanked on a pair of jean shorts that were a snug fit. I had always been on the curvy side, not exactly big but not stick thin either which was a major issue at my school, especially when paired with my height. I got my curves from my mom, she was Hawaiian and they tend to have a little more junk in the trunk. I grab my beach bag that is just a canvas tote with an alien head on the side and a towel, book, and sunscreen inside of it.

“I’m ready, Scarlet.” I walk out into the living room and plop down on the couch right as Ellie and Kent walk in the front door without knocking. Kent is in front and laughing at something Ellie said, her blond hair braided into an intricate up do. She was five foot four of all curves, one curve going right into the next so smoothly it was really impressive in such a petite human. She always had a smile on her face and a hug for anyone. Ellie was slightly taller with brown hair, large eyes that took up about half of her face, and was quick to smile and joke. She lacked in the curves department but that’s alright because Kent had enough curves for everyone in the group and then some. They had been friends since kindergarten and had adopted Scarlet into their group freshmen year, which for them was the year before mine.

“Briar! Where’s Scar?” Kent asks as she hugs me and sits down on the couch. “Ohhh I like your lip ring, is that new? I thought you just had a stud before?” She smiles as she crosses her legs under her and leans back against the cushions.

“She’s getting ready and yeah I got a new ring for it so it looks nice tomorrow at school. Also my mom didn’t want me to have the ring in for school pictures when we went to register last week so I had to wait to put it in.” I laugh and Kent shakes her head as Ellie answers her phone with a roll of her eyes.

“I’m going out with me friends, like I told you I was. Remember?” She sighs and walks into the back yard through the sliding glass door.

“She has been fighting with Geoff all day, he wanted to hang out with her today since his school starts tomorrow also but her mom wouldn’t let her. So she tried to convince him to drive down her since he got his license last week but he doesn’t want to drive that far.” Kent explains as she plays on her phone. Scarlett walks into the living room with my mom right behind her. My mom and sister are the same height both only five foot six inches, which makes me seem like so much more of a giant then I feel already. My mom is plump and kind of sad looking, she has dark brown hair that is graying and hazel eyes that always look sad similar to mine. Although my eyes are a deep dark blue, so dark they almost seem black until you seem them in the light.

“You girls ready to go?” My mom asks with a smile as she grabs her car keys off the dining room table, she is wearing a long gray skirt and a black tank top with white slippers.
“Yeah we are ready, I’m going to get Ellie.” Kent stands up and knocks on the sliding glass door, Ellie turns around outside to look at us and we all signal to her that we are leaving. She gives us a thumbs up and after a few seconds hangs up her cell phone and comes inside.

“Ugh sorry about that, Geoff just didn’t want to hang up and he doesn’t want to drive down her. It’s like he’s mad at me for something I can’t even control, I can’t make my mom let me see him.” We all trail out of the house and into my mom’s Honda. She tells us all to buckle up for safety and we start toward the beach. I sit in the passenger seat and hold my mom’s hand, she’s my best friend and I feel like we both get a little sad sometimes and it’s always good to know that we have each other.

We are driving down PCH heading toward Salt Creek Beach in Dana Point California. All of us have our windows down so we can feel the warm wind on our cheeks and taste the salt in the air, we here loud music playing from some of the bonfires we drive past. The sun is shining and I feel it warm the skin of my arms. My mom pulls into the parking lot at salt creek gives my sister and I a kiss on the cheek and tells us she’ll be back in three hours to get us. We all wave goodbye and start down the large paved hill that leads down to the beach.

“I think Tim and Will have a crush on you, Bri.” Kent giggles and Ellie shimmies her hips with a smile. I roll my eyes at Scarlet.

“I really doubt that, I think I would notice if they liked me, I also think one of them would’ve made a move by now.” I look out down the hill and toward the blue expanse of water below. It looks pretty calm today, seagulls fly over-head and children laugh as the chase each other through the grass that runs along the paved road.

“Well they are the ones that told me to invite you along and they have been coming over all summer to get you to make you go hang out at Will’s house all summer. I think that’s making a move sis.” She smiles wickedly as we see Tim and Will at the bottom of the hill. She waves at them and winks at me. Tim is my height, Asian, tanned to a deep brown and cut into a V shape from years of swimming and playing water polo. He’s nice and funny but tends to get a little sad and has been known to self-harm. Will is taller than me by at least three inches, stringy and thin with brown hair and hazel eyes. He kind of looks like he hasn’t grown into his body yet with arms that are a little too long and feet a little too big.

“Hey guys!” Kent yells as we get closer, she rushes up and hugs them both her large breasts pressing into their chests. “How are you? I can’t believe school starts tomorrow, summer always seems so short.” Kent keeps talking as Ellie and Scarlet hug the guys, finally I step up to Tim and wrap my arms around his warm bare upper body, I feel him slide his arms around my waist and give me a quick squeeze. I let go before he does and wait a moment before he releases me. Then I hug Will and it’s the same thing although my arms warp further around Wills body then they do around Tim.

“Well let’s hit the water! I want to make the most of my last day of summer! Also my mom is going to be here in three hours so let’s get this show on the road.” We all smile at Scarlet as we make our way down to the beach. They next three hours are a blur of laughter, swimming, tanning, sandcastles, and groans about the impending doom of high school. I kind of start thinking that maybe Ellie, Kent, and Scar are right, maybe these two boys do have a crush on me, maybe they do like me in a way that’s more than friends. But it’s still too much to think about, if they do really like me when we broke up after we dated I couldn’t be their friend anymore and that would ruin everything. I liked them too much to want to date either one of them. I valued their friendship above all else. As the sun starts setting over the pacific ocean, silhouetting Catalina as it goes we all start to gather our stuff knowing that it’s time to go home and get ready for school tomorrow. As we reach the top of the hill at Salt creek we hug the boys good bye promising to have lunch with them the following day at school and we all pile into my mom’s waiting car.

Once we get home from dropping everyone off at home Scarlet and I argue over who gets to shower first, eventually she wins because she likes to wake up earlier to get ready so she needs to go to sleep earlier. As I wait for her to finish showering I look at myself in the mirror thinking that maybe this year will be different. Maybe this year people won’t be so mean to me, maybe this year I’ll do better in my classes, maybe this year I’ll come out of my shell a little bit and make some friends, maybe this year I’ll get a boyfriend that actually cares about me, maybe this year my eyes will finally stop looking sad all the time. I was excited to see if any of this was true.