Change Your Ticket

I was pumped. We had just won the game against Notre Dame and were all supposed to go out to celebrate. I just had to drop my stuff off at my dorm before meeting up with the team, Derrick was going back to his dorm too. Nothing could have prepared me for what, or rather who, I saw when I opened the door.

There she was. Standing in the middle of my room, wide eyed and flushed red. She looked exhausted, but then again so did I these last couple of weeks. Her hair was tied up and she kept fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. Her eyes only met mine for a second to say Happy Thanksgiving before she cringed at her own words - or maybe they were my words.

“I shouldn’t have come here, I’m sorry. I’m going to leave now,” she rambled. It was like she couldn’t get the words out fast enough.

She started walking towards the door but I was blocking her way. I could have moved and let her leave. I could have forgotten that she was even in the room and headed out to the party with the team. But I couldn’t. This was Josylne after all.

“Don’t,” I said, stepping between her and door. Her eyes finally looked up at me and every emotion ran through them. Josylne was an open book and she was hurting, just like I knew she had been. Her arms tangled themselves around my torso while I stood there. Unsure of what to do, before my own arms cautiously fell to waist.

“Hey Parker are you co-” Derrick said, waltzing into the room. “Oh sorry man I didn’t know you had company.”

Josylne and I let go of each other. As Derrick made his way further into the room Josylne moved to the side, not wanting to get in the way. I had never seen Josylne so quiet before, it was definitely out of character.

“I’m Derrick,” he said sticking out his hand to shake Jos’s.

“Josylne,” she said.

“So you’re the infamous Josylne! Parker talks about you all the time. I hear you’re pretty good at football - well before you hurt your leg.” Josylne eyed me, curious as to what I had been saying about her but all I did was shrug my shoulder. “You should totally come out with us tonight. We’re celebrating our win.”

“Oh no...I’m real tired from my flight down here,” she said.

“S’to bad. The boy’s would have loved to meet you,” Derrick said. “Well I’m going to head out. If you change your mind Parker knows where we are.”

With Derrick gone, it was just Josylne and I. I could feel my heart beating just at the sight of Josylne in my room. I’ve missed her so much and now she’s here, in my dorm room. And I have no idea what to say to her.

“Do you want to grab something to eat?” I asked blankly.

She was probably hungry, right? It was Thanksgiving after all.

Josylne blinked a few times, processing the words I had just said before nodding her head.



Dinner was awkward. We had ended up at a Denny’s since most of the restaurant in the area was closed. Of course, we had to wait to be seated as the diner was full of single parents and their children and just single people in general. When we finally did get seated we had nothing to talk about, at least not that could be discussed in a busy diner with children present.

Now, two hours later, we were headed back to where she had a hotel room rented. I tried to convince her to come back to campus with me but she refused which only left me with one option. There was no way I was going to let her stay in a hotel room by herself, I was going with her.

“You really don’t have to stay.”

“I’m staying,” I said, before sitting down on the bed.

She disappeared into the bathroom leaving me alone with my thoughts. Josylne and I weren’t in a good place right now, yet here we were. I needed to come clean to her, about everything, but the thought of having to leave her in this room alone after all of it scared me. There was no way Josylne was going to let me share a bed with her after I told her about Charlotte.

Thankfully before we left for the diner I had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. With no need to change into something else, not that I really had a choice, I settled onto the left side of the bed before flicking the television on. By the time Josylne reentered the room, I had been engrossed into an episode of family feud.

“I can’t believe snow balls was actually on the board,” I chuckled.

I felt the bed shift as Josylne crawled in beside me, except she didn’t lie down. Instead, she sat with her legs crossed under her. She was focused on picking at her nails, ignoring my eyes once more.

I took a deep breath, tonights going to be a long night.

“So,” she sighed. “Obviously I didn’t come all this way to eat pancakes on Thanksgiving with you.”

“Really? I’m offended,” I joked in an attempt to ease the tension.

Josylne ignored my comment, continuing to stare at her nails. I could see her brain turning trying to figure out just how to start the conversation. She was nervous but she had no reason to be, I was the one who should be nervous. Without thinking, I reached my hand over to hers, taking it in mine gently. Thankfully she didn’t pull away, instead she let her gaze raise meeting mine.

“I need to tell you something too,” I whispered. “The night I got that text I did something stupid.” Josylne stayed quiet allowing me to continue with my confession. I took a deep breath before continuing. “I was hurt and confused and really stupid and I ended up at the dorm room of the girl who was flirting with me all those weeks ago. I stopped it before it got too serious but we - I mean I kissed her,” I trailed off.

I couldn’t bare to look at her. I couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes that I know was there. I expected her to demand me to leave right than and there so when her lips pressed to mine I was shocked. It only lasted a moment, before she pulled away and retreated to her own space on the bed.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to do any of it,” she whispered.

I moved closer to her, pulling her into my lap. She propped her head up on my shoulder so she could still see me.

“It was the first game after I hurt myself and it was freezing. I went to take the prescription they gave me and we, Max and I, think well know that Chase switched it. I thought that guy was you when I kissed him. I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.

I wasn’t mad at her, I hadn’t been for a while. I wanted to kill Chase but more importantly I was mad at myself for ignoring her. I knew how Josylne was I should have let her explain. But I was stupid and now she’s sobbing in my arms and I can’t handle it.

I let one hand trail through her hair while the other held her tightly too me. Her words were muffled by my shirt but I didn’t care. I need her to feel safe, needed her to know how much I love her.

“We’re such a mess,” she coughed. She pulled herself up, wiping the tears from her eyes but staying in my lap.

“We’re each other’s messes though,” I smiled, pecking her forehead.

“This can’t be healthy for us though Parker. It’s not normal for couples to fight like we do.”

“Jos. It’s also not normal for teenagers to have long distance relationships or to have been through the amount of shit we have. I love you and it’s never going to change.”

“I love you too.”

The words barely left her mouth before my lips were on hers. Tugging and pulling on her, trying to get her closer to me. Realizing quickly how hard this was with her in my lap I flip us, my body hovering over hers. My lips abounded her’s, finding their way to a spot on her neck.

“Parker,” she breathed. “I’m not ready.”