Where'd You Go?
Please come back home
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating,
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
Where'd you go?
I miss you so;
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
It had taken a lot of courage to do what Frank had done, and even more heartache to make the decision that he had made. He loved his husband, with all of his being but it just wasn’t how he imagined married life any longer. Gerard leaving for weeks on end had really put a strain on their bond, and now it seemed like there wasn’t anything left. Frank had tried so hard, so hard to keep their relationship together. He had gone out on limbs to try and call Gerard, text him whenever he could and made sure that their house was kept, the dogs were happy and the company was running well.
Only there was so much Frank could do and now, he had taken enough, he just couldn’t handle it all any longer. He was sick of waiting for Gerard to come home, sick of waiting to be told when he could see his husband, when he could talk to him. He was sick of Gerard and sick of all the excuses that had been tumbling from his mouth recently. He was sick of how Gerard was so fucking oblivious to how this was hurting him, how it was straining their marriage to a point where Frank just needed to leave. Most of all, he was sick of himself. Frank was sick of being so lonely. He was sick of being so pathetic, moping and missing his husband so badly. He was sick of how selfish he knew he was being.
Not only was Frank sick, but he was tired. Frank was tired of the excuses, and was tired of just sitting at home and taking the shit that Gerard seemed to throw at him, maybe without knowing he was doing so, but that was beyond the point now. And of course, at first Frank had made the excuses for Gerard and had told himself that he shouldn’t feel this way about his husband living half way across the states. He should have felt happy that his partner had finally been given an opportunity to shine, to show his work to the world and actually make something of himself. Frank felt fucking pathetic for thinking and being so selfish but now, he had realised really, he wasn’t the selfish one. He hadn’t left his husband to keep a house, to live on his own.
Frank missed Gerard being the first thing he’d see when he woke in mornings, curled around Gerard’s body, head on his chest and fingers linked. He missed the image of Gerard plodding downstairs into the kitchen, grabbing around for the coffee and gulping it down. He missed Gerard sitting in his room, getting annoyed with his drawing and throwing his pencils from the table. Frank longed to cuddle up to Gerard whilst watching a movie and just watch Gerard as he tuned into the screen. Frank would simply sit there and pay attention to Gerard watching the film, just to gush and fall in love with his cute little expressions all over again. It was as if Frank hadn’t realised what he really had until Gerard left. Upon hearing that saying, he had always laughed and classed it as such a cliché but now, he was in that boat and boy, was it true. He didn’t know what he had until it was gone, off doing his own thing and leaving him behind to pick up the pieces.
It was then, as Frank was lying on his and Gerard’s bed, snuggled with the dogs quietly weeping that he knew had had to leave. Even for a while, he needed to get as far away from the house as possible, as far away from the memories, just for a while. Slowly, Frank fell into a disturbed sleep, tossing and turning most of the night.
The next morning, Frank felt terrible.
“Mom, would you mind?” Frank asked again, sitting at the table with his mother, once again sharing coffee.
“Frankie darling, of course I don’t mind. I told you this before you had even moved out, there is always a room here for you baby.” Mrs Iero smiled at her son, who was evidently in pieces. He was indecisive and didn’t really know what he wanted.
“Thanks mom, I mean, it’s only for a while. Right?” Frank asked, hoping his mother could give him some kind of indication of when Gerard would be back, when he would be back to stay and when their marriage could be repaired. However, she didn’t know either and with a small, soft smile that didn’t set anything in black and white, she nodded. Once finishing his coffee, Frank retreated back his house, where he would spend the night packing reading to move back to his mom’s in the morning.
On arriving home, Frank pressed the message button on the phone as he walked past.
You have 20 new messages. To listen to these messages, press 1.
Frank sighed; he could imagine who they were all from.
Frank, its Gee. Please pick up. I’m sorry and I love you. Just, call me ok?
Frank ran his fingers through his hair and too a deep breath in.
Frankie please, I’m sorry for everything. I know this is hard, please. Just hear me out?
‘No,’ Frank thought. ‘You’ve had enough time.’
Frankie I love you, please. I’m gonna come home, the next flight. I promise.
Frank almost laughed. Really. The amount of times Gerard had called Frank to tell him that he would be on the next flight home and days later, Frank would still be waiting, constantly staring out of the front window in case his husband suddenly appeared on the driveway.
Frank, I’m coming home.
Frank had heard just about enough. Without even reading the remaining messages he reached over and pressed the ‘delete all’ button. Sighing, he made his way upstairs. Frank sat himself down on the bed, slowly looking around for things that he would need to take to his moms. He pulled his holdall from the top of the wardrobe, (which he had to stand on the bed just to reach) and started to pull things from various drawers. He packed quietly, a few tears threatening to fall from his deep, hazel eyes. This wasn’t a situation Frank would ever have imagined himself in. Ok, he knew that married life was going to include arguments and maybe even the night on the couch, but nothing like this. And for Frank, something like this was heartbreaking.
Settling the bag down by the side of the bed Frank wandered around the rest of the house, grabbing things he knew he would need. Just as he was about to leave the kitchen though, the pad attached to the fridge caught his eye. It was the pad that he and Gerard used to write on to one another, if they needed milk at the shop or were going out and would be back later. Frank stood there for a moment, just staring, reminiscing in his head of all the silly, goofy notes Gerard had left him on it from time to time. The random ‘I love you Frankie’ or ‘Good morning sexy’ were always nice to wake up to in the morning. Reaching out to grab the pen that was always left near the fridge, Frank uncapped it and placed it against the piece of paper.
Biting his lip, Frank began to write.
I guess I’ve had it with you and your career, when you come back I won’t be here. F x
It had taken a lot to be able to write something like that, as he knew when Gerard saw it, it would hurt him all over again and really, that wasn’t what he wanted. Not at all. He didn’t want to hurt Gerard, no, he wanted Gerard home with him, where he belonged.
Switching off the light, Frank wandered off to bed.
The next morning came around too quickly and, as Frank woke he was greeted with the bag he had packed the night before. Pushing his head back down into the pillow he sighed. Was this really the right thing to be doing? Did he really want to leave and live with his mom for a while? Did he really want to just give up? Yawning, Frank made his way from bed and into the bathroom where he showered, shaved and brushed his teeth. Getting dressed in silence, Frank gathered the last few things he would need, including leeches for the dogs and bundled them into the bag. Sighing, Frank picked it up, the weight of the bag leaving him struggling. Gerard normally did all of the lifting heavy things, and would then proceed into gushing at Frank and how he was too small to do so. Frank would often give him a stern look and threaten no sex for a month and at that point, Gerard would automatically close his mouth and carry the bags silently.
That was the thing, one of the reasons Frank wanted out of the house for a while; the house was full of memories. Memories Frank always thought he’d want to remember, the good, the bad and the damn right ugly ones. But now, the thought of things that he and Gerard made me feel sick inside, as it reminded him of how things were slowly falling apart and reminded him of what he was about to do.
When downstairs, Frank settled the bags at the door and rounded up the dogs. He grabbed one in each arm, both happy to sit in Frank’s arms as that only happened when they were going out someplace. Opening the door (not before checking he had his keys in case the door closed) Frank walked over to the car, which was parked in the drive and put the dogs in the back of the car. He walked back to grab the bag, and as he bent down to pick them up he saw the answering machine flashing once again. Sighing in annoyance, as now, all he wanted was to get on his way he pressed the ‘play’ button and waited.
Frankie, I’m at the airport, I’m coming home baby. I promise this time, I promise
Gerard had whispered his last promise and Frank, merely stood there trying to believe the words that had voiced in the silent hall way but really, he was past being able to trust and believe Gerard when he said he was coming home. There had been countless times that Gerard had been at the ‘airport’ but really, had been called away yet again to work on yet another fucking comic strip. Frank quickly pressed ‘delete’ and picked up his bag. Taking it out to the car, he wandered back inside to lock the house. He tried his hardest not to cry whilst locking the house and as the key turned in the door, Frank quickly pulled it out and jumped into the car. Locking the doors before he could even think about turning back, running back inside and crying some more, Frank started the engine and reversed onto the road.
Just as he was setting off, it was something on the other side of the road that caught his eye. Just stepping out of a car, handing the money over to the driver and clutching a case in the other hand, there stood Gerard. Frank’s heart skipped a beat, or ten from what it felt like in his chest, beating so fast and trying its best to escape. Frank slammed on the breaks without even thinking. He didn’t know what to do. Carry on driving or go running back to his husband?
Obviously he chose the latter. Without a second thought, the loving husband version of Frank fiddled with the lock on the door, flung it open but made sure to close it once again, and ran as fast as he could over to where Gerard was standing with his bag at the cab. All Gerard saw was a figure rushing towards him, and once that bundle was safe in his arms, realisation hit him.
It hit him hard and fast and as tears rolled softly down his face as he clung onto Frank for life, he realised just what his trips had done, what they had caused. As Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank, who had pushed his tear streaked face into the crook of his husbands neck, looked up to face the other.
“You’re here.” Frank whispered, more tears filling up in his eyes.
Gerard only nodded, his heart breaking from finally seeing just how these trips really affected Frank. Most of the time, Frank would smile and show him to the door, but he knew that something wasn’t right; he just knew that Frank was hiding some kind of emotion and this, was it.
“Lets go inside.” Gerard asked, and Frank nodded.
“I need to get the dogs from the car.”
“I’ll do it, go inside and wash your face, I’ll be right in.”
So Gerard unwrapped his arms from around Frank, who leant up and pressed a chaste, soft kiss to his lips. He watched his small husband walk back to the front door, taking the keys from his pocket to unlock the door. Sighing, Gerard walked over to the car that was parked near enough in the middle of the road. He figured Frank had seen him whilst driving, so he jumped into the driver’s seat and reversed it back into their driveway. He opened the back door, grabbed a dog in each arm and closed the car door to walk inside, but not before seeing the large bag sitting on the back seat.
“You were leaving?” Gerard stated, as he walked back inside and settled the dogs down on the carpet.
Frank only nodded before averting his eyes to the floor.
“Had it really become that unbearable?” Gerard asked, but wasn’t really sure if he wanted to know just how much pain he had caused his husband by never being there.
“Yeah, it was.” Frank sniffled. “I was going fucking crazy Gee, here on my own. Mom said I could stay with her for a while, so I packed and was on my way.”
Gerard’s eyes still filled with tears finally caved in and as Frank looked around to see his husband, he could see glistening tears streaming down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” Gerard whispered, trying his best to find the words to somehow accommodate for all the nights Frank had spent without him but he knew, nothing could heal the wound but time, time he would need to spend with Frank.
“When are you leaving again?” He had to ask, he just fucking had to. He needed to know how long he had his husband back for, how long it would be again until he decided that this time, he really was fed up with waiting around for something that would never come home.
Gerard’s lip quivered as the harsh question penetrated though his brain. It was fucking heartbreaking to know that Frank had only one question for him when he came home. When he was leaving again.
“I’m – I’m not.” Gerard responded, a few more tears spilling from his small brown eyes.
“W-what?” Frank stuttered, afraid he had heard the sentence wrong.
“I’m staying here Frankie; I can’t leave you, not again, not if it means losing you.” Gerard moved forward, cupping Frank’s face in his hands. God, he had missed his olive, smooth skin that he just loved to kiss, nibble and lick. Frank’s eyes fluttered, so unused to the affection of another; after all he hadn’t had much for weeks, sometimes months.
“Gee, I can’t, I don’t want to hold you back. You deserve this break.” The words hurt coming from Frank’s mouth, they weren’t the words he wanted to say, but he knew that if he didn’t and Gerard stayed at home, he would blame himself if his husband’s comic failed.
“You’re not holding me back, I can easily work from home, and you know that.” Frank nodded. “And no, I don’t deserve this break, and I really don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t say that, you deserve the world and more, I just wish things were easier so that you could work out there and the business would keep itself going and the dogs and our families and-”
Gerard pressed his lips against Frank’s firmly, silencing any more rambles that would flow from his husband’s mouth. He didn’t want to hear it, it only made him feel guiltier for how he had up and left whenever he saw fit. He knew he shouldn’t have done any of it; he should have just worked from home, anything to save his marriage. After all, their piece of paper binding them together meant so much more than 20 comic pages.
Pulling back, Frank sighed, but this time, unlike many other times the previous months it was from happiness. Gerard pecked the other’s lips lightly before nudging their noses together affectionately.
“I missed you.” Frank whispered against Gerard’s lips.
“Me too, everyday.”
Gerard kissed Frank’s lips and pulled back, lacing their fingers together. He looked at Frank, and up at the stairs and the smaller man soon took the hint. The pair moved up the stairs carefully, hands still laced. Frank pulled Gerard into their bedroom and over to the bed, where he pushed his husband down onto the mattress. Gerard smiled softly as the feel of his bed, their bed felt against his body but really, he didn’t have much time to marvel in the fact that he was home, as Frank was slowly crawling up his body, a cheeky smile littering his face.
Moving up to his lips, Frank pressed a hard but gentle kiss against his lover’s lips. Revelling in the moment, the feel of his husband’s mouth, his Gerard’s mouth against his Frank sighed and as he did Gerard slowly pushed his tongue into Frank’s mouth. Sighing even more at the feel of tongues meeting Frank pushed one hand to Gerard’s abdomen, gently caressing the skin before pushing the hand under the black shirt.
Breaking the kiss only to shed the clothes they were cased in, the pair were soon naked against the sheets, mouths attached and very much aroused. Hands wandered, touching and remembering skin that they hadn’t touch in what felt like, years. Frank had missed the white, milk like skin that stretched over Gerard’s ass and thighs and Gerard, had missed touching and tracing Frank’s tattoos, missed almost tasting them with his mouth.
Frank, now with his back to the mattress threw his head back a little when Gerard ran his tongue over his nipple, stopping to suck lightly. God, he had really fucking missed Gerard’s mouth; its little smirks, laughs, licks, bites. Pushing a hand up, Frank ran his fingers through his lover’s hair, pulling only slightly but rewarded with a throaty moan. Frank needed Gerard, and he wasn’t about to wait around for it like he had for him to finally come home.
“Gee, get the lube.” Frank voiced, pushing Gerard’s black locks from his reddened face. The elder nodded, pulling back from Frank’s torso to reach over and grab the lube from the floor at the side of the bed. He looked at it, noticing how it was now nearly empty. It hadn’t been like that when he had left.
“Been using this?” Frank blushed, but nodded none the less. Gerard grinned.
“Good, cause I had to buy a tube too.” Frank giggled and pulled Gerard up to him, placing a firm kiss on his lips before whispering “put it to use then.”
Gerard shivered as Frank gently bit his ear lobe, sucking lightly. Taking the lube, he covered his fingers with the red gooey liquid and moved them down to Frank’s ass. He rubbed around the muscle a little, gently massaging the fluid into the skin before sinking a finger into his lover’s heat. Frank groaned instantly, he had missed the feeling of Gerard’s long, soft fingers inside of him; when he was away, Frank would often press his own in, pretending that they were his partners. Soon, Gerard added another and another and before long, Frank was throwing his head back against the pillow and moaning that he was ready.
Lubing his cock up, Gerard laced one hand with Frank’s and pushed in slowly. Once fully inside, he reached up and placed a gentle kiss against Frank’s nose. The younger giggled lightly, but the laugh soon turned into a moan as Gerard pulled almost all of the way out, and sunk straight back into Frank again.
Closing his eyes Frank settled against the bed, legs wrapped firmly around Gerard as they began to set a rhythm, slowly pushing up and in, down and out. Sweat was dripping from Gerard’s matted hair as Frank reached up to run his fingers through the black mass, pulling a little once again to gain the reaction he loved.
Getting closer to the edge, Frank pulled Gerard’s face down to his to place their lips together, their moans becoming one as their tongues mixed. Pushing against Frank’s spot, firm and slow Gerard moaned as his lover clenched around him, loving the feeling, tight and hot. Frank, pushing his head back against the pillow once again moaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he lifted his back from the bed and came, long and hard and needy. Gerard didn’t need much longer, watching his lover come often sent him over the edge, the sight of Frank’s face contorting and pulling in the throws of pleasure enough to drive him crazy.
Panting against one another’s faces, the men held one another close, loving the feel of the other’s sweaty chest against theirs.
“I love you.” Gerard whispered against Frank’s lips.
“Love you more.” Frank grinned whilst running his hand up and down Gerard’s hot back.
“I’m sorry, you know?”
“I know, don’t worry about it.”
“I’m gonna stay home, for like, ever now.”
Frank grinned.
“I like the sound of that.”
Gerard laughed and hugged his husband tighter, letting Frank rest his head on his chest.
And with the note Frank had written still resting on the fridge door he knew that Gerard wouldn’t need to read it, he already knew and, to save their love, marriage, their lives Gerard had come home, home for good.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks for reading, completed in three parts.comments are lovely.