All Because Of You

On a boring Saturday, with nothing to do...

"Strike a pose!" I yelled as I held my camera up to Ryan and he posed as a wannabe model. I burst out laughing at his funny outfit, look, and pose. It was priceless.

"I love you, Ryan." I said smiling and he turned around and took off the dress clothes he put over his regular clothes. "Damn, look at that ass!" I yelled and took a picture of him bending over. He just laughed and once he got his clothes off, he tackled me.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked as me laid on top of me.

"You," I said and giggled.

"I said what, not who." He said smiling and rolled his eyes. See what happens when you mix me with a camera? I get all...weird. I swear, I'm a camera whore...well, just a whore. But my boyfriend's whore.

I gave him a quick kiss and kept giggling as he got off me and stared at me, losing myself in giggles. He couldn't help but laugh since I was being such a dork. Then it clicked, he's never seen me like this. It's like we're getting closer and we can just be ourselves without having to worry about what the other will say or think.

"Last one in the tree house is a rotten egger!" I yelled when I got up and pushed him down and ran out of my room, down that stairs, and out the door. I ran as fast as I could to the tree house and climbed up the built in ladder and laid down on the floor, letting out a sigh to say "I'm tired!" Not even a minute later, Ryan came climbing up and laid down next to me.

"You run fast!" He said. I just smiled. "How come you never ran that fast before?"

"I don't know," I said. "But now I'm out of breath."

Ryan sat up and took a permanent marker out of his back pocket. He took the cap off and wrote something on the wall in front of him. He put the cap back on, put the marker back in his pocket and laid back down next to me. I snuggled close to him and he wrapped him arm around me.

"We were supposed to meet, weren't we?" He said.

"I guess," I said. "Because if we weren't, I'd never know what love is or what it feels like."

"How did we meet?"

"I moved in and you came into my house and we started talking. I remember the first thing you asked me."

"Yeah, I thought you were cute and I wanted to get to know you more. I thought the best place to talk to someone you like is in their bedroom, where nobody can hear your conversations."

"True," I said. "But why were you so...pushy?"

"I'm weird like that. When I meet new people, I'm a little mean to them and if they don't turn their back on me, then they're...I don't know hot to put it but, worthy enough to be my friend."

"I can see that." I said. If they deal with your shit, then they'll be able to watch your back for you. But isn't that what friends are for? "Is that why Brett broke up with you?"

"Yeah, I had some journal notes that I forgot to put in my journal and I guess one day he opened my folder to get one of my homework papers and instead, he saw the notes I made about you. I felt really bad but now, I'm so happy he found them and broke up with me. I don't know what I'd do if we never broke up."

"Your mom found out. What will she do?"

"I don't know. Probably threaten me or something." I looked up at him to see if he was smiling. He wasn't.

"Your mom would actually threaten you?"

"She beat me when I was eight because I was staring at another boy's ass in the mall. She said that gays are unclean souls of God and I won't make my way to heaven. I could care less where I go when I die."

"I'd be afraid to go back to my mom. I'd be so scared that she'd like kill me or something."

"Don't worry about her." He said. Just then, I heard tires pull into the driveway.

"Shit, my dad's home." I said and we got up quickly, ran down the ladder, and ran as fast as we could to the sliding glass doors and walked inside. My dad walked through the door and saw us sitting at the dining room table.

"Hungry?" He said.

"A little," I said.

"For what?" Ryan asked and giggled. My dad walked into the kitchen and I whispered in Ryan's ear, "You." My dad walked back in with three subs.

"I thought you'd be hungry, so I stopped at Subway on my way home."

"Thanks, dad." I said and gave my half to Ryan since we only had two whole subs.

After we were done eating, Ryan's mom called our house and said Ryan had to go home and he had a test tomorrow that he had to study for.

"Okay," I said and hung up the phone. "You have to go home. You have a big health test tomorrow and your mom wants you to study."

"But I don't want to go home. Why can't I study here?"

"Because, you'll be learning the wrong things you need to know for health." I said and he giggled.

"True, but I won't be learning anything since we're both boys." I giggled and gave him a kiss and opened the front door.

"Good bye, Ryan. I love you. See you tomorrow." I said and he gave me another kiss that turned into a short make out session that was cut off by my dad clearing his throat [again].

"Bye." He said and ran out the door, back to his house. I closed the door and leaned my back against it, having that love look in my eyes like when a girl just got home from a perfect date with her crush.

"I love him." I said to my dad who just stood there and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, just don't do that kissing stuff in front of me. I don't want to see it...OR hear it." I let out a laugh.

"You've never heard us have sex before!" I accidentally said.

"Just go to your room. I really did not need to hear that." He rubbed his eyes, like soothing a headache, and cleaned up our subs.

I walked up the stairs, into my room, and closed my door, floating to my bed. I undressed myself and got into bed, unaware of what might happen in the middle of the night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My alarm clock went off at 6 am. I got up and did my every morning routine. Get up, shower, dress, hair, eyeliner, school.

Once I was done, I grabbed my book bag and walked out, waiting at the end of Ryan's driveway for him. I think I waited there for about ten minutes, when I finally decided he wasn't coming. All the lights were off so maybe they were sleeping in. Besides, Ryan has health seventh period so it wouldn't matter if he was late. He'd still take the test.
I got to school five minutes late and took one last look behind me before walking through the school doors.

Third period, Ryan still wasn't there. I thought maybe he just got up and he's taking a shower. Mmmmmm...shower..... Dammit, Tyler! This is not the time to think about Ryan's hot, wet body! A voice yelled in my head and the teacher called on me.

"What?" I asked. I guess I lost participation points, but I don't care. Tyler's more important to me than Macbeth.

Fifth period and he still wasn't here. What's going on? I asked myself. Why aren't the teachers marking him absent? It's as if he was some character I made up in my head and now he's gone, removed from the face of the earth. What is going on?

Sixth period, lunch. Still not here. I hope he's here within twenty minutes, or else he'd be missing his big test.

Ninth period, still no sigh of him. He probably skipped because he doesn't know what's going on. I thought to myself, walking home alone.

I walked up his driveway and knocked on the door. No answer. I jiggled the doorknob. Locked. What the hell?

I walked to the side of the house where the rose bush ladder is. I dropped my book bag to the ground and started climbing the ladder. I got to a window and nearly fell off.
The room was clean. Perfectly. Nothing was in there. No bed, no carpet, no shelves, nothing. I looked at the bottom of the window. It looked like I'd be able to open it with a knife or a screw driver.

I got down and walked to my house, opening the door and setting my book bag on the floor next to the door. I walked to the garage door and opened it, walking into the garage where all my dad's tools are. I found a screw driver and took it, walking out, back to Ryan's house.
Back up the ladder and I shoved the screw driver under the window and pushed down, opening the window. Cool beans! I thought. I opened the window and stepped inside. There was silence throughout the house. I opened the door and walked into the hallway. I've never been in here before. This is my first time.

I walked into the room I supposed was Ryan's since I always watched him from my window change for bed, whenever he slept in his room. I felt heartbroken the moment I saw that empty room. The only thing that was left of him was that permanent marker o his walls saying, "I love Tyler," and "TH + RS = ♥ FOREVER," a heart enclosing the letters to keep them safe and never let the love escape.

I thought this would've never happened. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I felt like destroying everything in sight, but yet falling to the floor in tears. So many emotions ran through me.

I ran down the stairs and saw the kitchen empty, dining room, living room, every room was empty. How could he do this to me? I thought. I also thought this was just a dream and soon I'd wake up in Ryan's arms and he'd hold me close to him and tell me everything's okay.

I sat in the living room for two hours and waited to wake up, but everything stayed the same. There was no Ryan, there was no love, there was no dream.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to push them away because then nobody would be here to kiss them away. But they came anyway. I laid down and curled myself into a ball and let the tears flow silently.

Our past together flashed through my head which made me even more heart broken and I cried harder. It felt like a chunk of me had just been removed and I'll never get it back.
I'm going to be so alone. Who will I talk to after school? Who will I walk with to and from school? Who will I be able to play tag with and run to the tree house and cuddle with? Who will be able to keep me as happy as he kept me? Who will save me?

Well, we can start with the famous phrase, "The only one who can stop you from crying is the one who started it." I'll just have to find Ryan and bring him back to me. I got up and kicked a hole through the wall.

"How can you do this to me?" I screamed. "How can you just leave me?" I punched the wall and left a few more holes. My sadness changed to anger but I went back to hopeless and cried again. "What's going on?" I asked myself out loud. "Why is this happening to me?"
It has to happen to someone... A voice said in my head. "No," I whispered. "It's all a dream, I should be waking up any minute."

No, he's gone. This is not a dream. Everything's gone.

"No," I cried and curled back into a ball on the floor.

I heard tires come up the driveway. I knew it was my dad but I didn't care. At that moment, I wanted to be alone to think about Ryan and what happened. But every time I thought about it, I started crying. I missed him so much. I wish it was all just a horrible dream. It wasn't even a dream. It was a nightmare and soon I'd just wake up in his arms and he'd kiss my fears away, kiss my tears away, kiss me and show me he really cares. But I guess that's not going to happen anymore.

I got up and unlocked the front door, leaving it unlocked so if I want to come back later, I won't have to use the window. I left the window open anyways. Oh, well.

I walked to the tree house and climbed up the ladder and crawled inside. I looked at what Ryan had written yesterday. It said "Nothing will ever stop my love for you, Tyler." This made me want to cry again because I missed him so much. I climbed down and walked home to see my dad sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I kind of figured you were at Ryan's."

"Ryan moved."

"What? When?"

"Last night." I said. "I guess she was really bothered by us seeing each other."

"I'm sorry." And turned around and kept watching TV.

That son of a bitch. He just turns around and shows me that he doesn't care. I hate him. I hate everyone! I wish Ryan was here. He's the only one who can make me happy again. I'm going to be sad for the rest of my life.

I decided to write a note...

"Ryan, I miss you terribly. Come back to me. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. You are my everything. You are my true love and I love you. Honestly, you've showed me the meaning of love and what it feels like. It was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt. You've changed my life forever. One day we'll meet again if we're even supposed to. And like you wrote, nothing will ever stop my love for you. I love you. I have learned the meaning of love and affection, I have learned that the best things in life don't last forever, that you should enjoy what you have while it lasts. You never know what you have until it's gone. I've learned that...and it was all because of you.

Love always,

Tyler"