Tender Love & Care

Get well soon

Praying for you

Hope you come back to Dallas in the near future

Those were a few comments left on her blog explaining everything. Hayley was reading them on her phone as she lay in her bunk on the tour bus, curled up in a blanket while wearing leggings and a large t-shirt. While it was summer, she still felt the need to cover herself up. Part of the reason why was because she actually felt cold while the other reason was because she was hiding in shame. Nobody should look at her after the utter disappointment she caused for so many fans the night before and so many more were going to have their hopes crushed that night.

She had a chest infection, which was just as bad as it sounded. Apparently the doctor also mentioned something about exhaustion. Whatever that means. Okay, so maybe she had been pushing herself more than she could handle, but she was just having some fun on the road. Her body can’t be telling her she was getting old already.

But she couldn’t deny she felt awful. She slept for about seventeen hours and ended up waking up in the afternoon, something she barely does because she can’t stand the thought of wasting half a day. Talking was a very limited option for her, she still wasn’t in the mood to get up, and she even felt like going back to sleep for another seventeen hours if she let herself. And because she had been feeling this way, the band had to do the worst thing they could ever do: cancel their set because Hayley performing was out of the question.

Hayley absolutely hated to cancel shows, especially after that whole event back in 2008 where they had to cut short their European tour. Not being able to sing and having to tell everyone that the show they’ve been waiting for wasn’t going to happen made her both frustrated and defeated. If she had all the power in the world, she’d make it up to them in the blink of an eye. Better yet, she’d make it so that she wasn’t feeling like shit and everyone would be happy.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have all the power. So she was stuck in bed.

Letting out a heavy sigh, she set her phone down and stared up at the bunk above hers. It seemed this exhaustion she’s been suffering from was no joke because just looking at the bright screen of her cellular device gave her a bit of an eye strain, causing her to close her eyes in hopes of it going away. As soon as she did so, her eyelids grew heavier and she was on her way to falling into a deep slumber...until she felt Alf nosing at her wrist.

She opened her eyes to see her dog resting his head on the edge of her bunk, clearly sensing that something was wrong and trying all he could to make her feel better. Hayley gave him a weak smile, then gently pet the top of his head. How could she resist those big eyes of his?

Alf was the only one (other than the driver) on the bus with her. Everyone else had gone out to check into the hotel they were parked outside of. Jeremy and Taylor assured Hayley they were going to get her room key as well because the only thing she should be doing is getting rest. Both her doctor and vocal coach said that she’ll be okay for the next show as long as she made sure to relax. That wasn’t really much of a problem since she was surrounded by people who were taking great care of her. Taylor had been entertaining her by playing some songs on his acoustic guitar, Jeremy watched a movie with her the night before, and Kat had gone out to the store to get anything she needed. As for Fall Out Boy, they were being way more awesome than they already were. Due to Paramore’s set being cancelled, they decided to extend their own so at least the people who came to see both bands at least got to see one of them longer than expected.

As she continued to pet Alf, she couldn’t help but wish that Oli was with her, too. If he was there with her, they’d be laying together with her back against him so his arms could wrap around her waist while he pressed his lips to her cheek. The fact that she was sick would never get in the way of him being close to her and all he would do was whisper into her ear to tell her she was worth getting sick over. Oli was the best medicine that she really needed at the moment, but he was so far away and her closest means of contact with him was the shirt she was wearing that he left with her a few weeks back.

He was back home in the UK while she was in Dallas and the last time they were together was for the APMAs. The only thing he had been able to do was call her when he found out about the cancelled show in Corpus Christi and sure, he had told her he could drop everything to come see her, but she didn’t want him to do that. She knew he was very busy with his store and his band. It wasn’t fair to keep him away from doing his thing just because she couldn’t do hers.

Just then, she heard the door of the bus open and in came Kat slowly walking up the steps as she held both a bag of groceries and Bliss in a car seat.

“We’re back!” she announced in a cheerful tone. Behind her was Jeremy and Taylor carrying the rest of the stuff.

Hayley poked her head out of her bunk. “Hey, guys.”

“How are you feeling, Hayles?” Jeremy asked. He put the bags down and walked over to sit in the bunk across from hers.

“Still kind of icky,” She replied, cringing a little at how hoarse her voice sounded. “But better than yesterday.”

“Well, I got some things from the store that’ll hopefully speed up your recovery,” Kat said, setting Bliss down on the nearby couch. She then started rummaging through the bags. “I got you a few medicines that could help, your favorite tea, and even cup of noodles because you can’t go wrong with soup when you’re sick.”

“And we got your room key, so you don’t have to be cramped up in here anymore,” Taylor told her. He reached into his pocket and took out the card to give it to her. “That way you can sleep in a real bed or take a shower or whatever you feel like doing to feel like yourself again.”

Hayley finally got up out of her bunk and went over to Taylor to take the card from him. “Thanks. Too bad doing any of those things doesn’t change how much of a failure I am to the fans right now.”

“Come on, you’re only human,” Jeremy retorted. “It’s not like you actually planned to get sick. The fans understand and they know your health comes first.”

“I know, but I’m bummed.” Hayley frowned. “This tour’s been so great and we’ve been making a bunch of people happy, so to cancel...it just sucks.”

She sat down on the couch and folded her arms across her chest. Taylor sat down by her side and put an arm around her.

“Okay, so we can’t play a show tonight,” he said. “But what we can do is make the most of today by hanging out and doing everything we can to make you smile again.”

“We can watch more movies,” Jeremy suggested. “I just got a bunch of new movies at the store that we haven’t watched yet and about 95% of them are ones you wanted to see.”

“Tonight, we could go out,” Kat added. “I’m sure there’s a lot of nice places to eat around here. Maybe taking you to dinner is just what you need.”

That idea did sound pretty nice and Hayley grinned at the thought of going somewhere new. Having dinner with her friends seemed like just the thing that could get her mind off of the show.

Then the unthinkable happened.

Right as she was about to respond, she felt...something. Only it wasn’t her chest or her throat nor was it really pain that she was experiencing. No, at the moment it was her stomach that was acting up and it was quite unsettling. It then became apparent that she was experiencing nausea, which confused her due to how sudden it was. However, her confusion was put on hold when that nauseous feeling prompted her to get up and make a break for the bathroom.

Ignoring the shouts of concern from the others, she immediately dropped to her knees when she reached the toilet, the nausea even more intense than it was just seconds earlier. Hayley could feel it rising in her throat and she knew she couldn’t hold it in. Eventually, she lowered her head closer to the bowl of the toilet and finally threw up. She couldn’t believe it. She thought she was feeling better and everyone else thought so, too, but then this decided to pile on the other health issues she was already dealing with. With the disgusting taste left in her mouth from the bile that slightly burned her throat, she was once again back to feeling awful.

When it all subsided, she made sure to flush and grabbed some of the toilet paper to wipe away any remnants that were on her lips. Even if the nausea had ended, she simply leaned against the wall and stayed there. It was embarrassing and gross, not to mention extremely disappointing that of all bad things that could’ve happened to her that day, she ended up contracting another infection.

Hayley brought her knees to her chest, still on the floor and wondering if she should really move or not. Throwing up gave her some kind of relief and the queasiness had passed, but she waited a few minutes in case she’d have to do it again. All the while, Taylor had gotten her a bottle of water and joined her on the floor.

He put a hand on her shoulder, eyes filled with worry. “You okay?”

“No, I guess not,” she muttered. “I got the flu somehow.”

Kat stood in the doorway and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “The flu? Are you sure that’s what you have?”

“Well, yeah.” Hayley nodded. “My stomach felt all weird like I was seasick or something and the next thing I knew, I had to puke. I’ve had the flu before and I think I have it again.”

Kat bent down and lightly pressed the back of her hand to Hayley’s forehead. After a few seconds, she frowned and tilted her head as if she was trying to figure something out.

Jeremy, who had taken Bliss out of her car seat to carry her, walked over to them. “What is it?”

“There’s no fever,” Kat informed them and turned to Hayley. “Before I even checked, I noticed that you weren’t really showing any signs that you had one. You don’t look flushed either.”

Hayley got up off the floor so that they were face to face. “Wait, what are you saying?”

“It doesn’t really seem like the flu,” Kat replied. “It seems like something else.”

This left Hayley puzzled. “It can’t really be something else, can it? I mean, it has to be the flu. What else could it be?”

Kat knew there was another possible answer for what it could be. She was very close to saying it, but stopped herself to avoid making assumptions. If she went around making her own conclusions, it could make things awkward, something nobody wanted that day. The other plausible thing for what was going on with Hayley could be true and Kat very much wanted it to be, but she needed proof. That’s when she decided to discuss it all with Hayley later when the guys weren’t around.

After a few minutes of silence, she finally gave her a response. “You’re right, it’s most likely the flu. How about I head back to the store to get you some more medicine?”

Feeling a little bad that it would mean she was making her friend take another trip to the store to buy one little thing for her, Hayley was still aware she had to dose herself up in order to regain her health. “That would be great. Thank you.”

So Kat got her purse and smiled at everyone. “I’ll be back then.”

She headed out the bus and went off to the store once again. Her mind was focused on what she had to buy Hayley and it wasn’t flu medicine. It was something far bigger than that and it just might be the one thing to make Hayley’s day, even more than the whole movies and dinner idea that pale in comparison to it.


Right after Kat had left, Taylor and Jeremy helped take Hayley up to her hotel room. Being the best friend there ever was, Taylor had given her a piggyback ride and he was able to carry her the whole way without complaining. Once there, they both told her their rooms were just a few doors down and said to call either of them if she had to before leaving her and Alf alone.

The first thing she did was lay down on the bed for a bit because with how things have been for her lately, that was Heaven. Grinning to herself, she closed her eyes and curled up, letting herself sink into the soft and fresh sheets. Everything about this bed was so damn comfortable and she honestly never wanted to leave it, but she managed to keep herself from falling back asleep.

She had already gotten enough sleep and the day was nearly halfway done. There was no way she was going to waste the rest of the time she had. Besides, they were still planning to have dinner that night and she really needed to shower. Her hair was oily and overall she just didn’t feel clean. Despite being used to this after ten years of touring, she couldn’t handle being dirty and sick at the same time. It didn’t help that the whole vomiting incident happened. She also realized that she felt less sick when she wasn’t laying around doing nothing and taking a shower would definitely make her feel better.

After her shower, Hayley knew her breath still smelled of vomit and she didn’t hesitate to brush her teeth. Hopefully the others weren’t too grossed out by it when she was talking to them and she kind of wished one of them had said something. But that was taken care of, so she pushed the thought out of her head and went over to her luggage to change into some clean clothes.

Usually a simple t-shirt and a pair of sweats would be fine, but since she was going out she wanted to put on something nice. Nothing too fancy, but nothing too lazy, either. She went with a sleeveless white button up and a pair of black skinny jeans, sticking to the red Doc Martens for her footwear. Afterwards, she brushed her hair and kept it straight since she had been making it wavy all summer.

Just as she finished fixing her hair, there was a knock at the door. It ended up being Kat, who had returned from the store to give Hayley what she asked for. When she opened it, she couldn’t quite read Kat’s expression, but she still could tell that something was off. Hayley also noticed that her hands were behind her back, which made her even more confused. Why would she need to hide anything behind her back when she already said what she was buying?

“Can I come in?” Kat asked.

“Sure.” Hayley stepped aside so she could walk in. She had made sure she was facing her the whole time so that she still couldn’t see what she was trying to hide.

“So...I didn’t really buy you medicine,” Kat admitted.

“Oh?” That was the only thing Hayley could reply with. All this was just adding even more to the confusion. “Then what did you buy?”

Kat opened her mouth to speak, but paused. She instead revealed what was in her hand and Hayley peered into the plastic bag. That’s when all the questions she had were answered, replacing all her curiosity with astonishment. What Kat was holding right in front of her was not one, but two pregnancy tests.

“W-why did you...” Hayley stuttered. Then came a whole new set of questions. “What made you buy me these?”

“Last year, the same thing that happened to you happened to me,” she said. “Like you, I thought I was just sick because I was trying to convince myself that it couldn’t possibly be anything else other than that. But it turned out it actually was. It might be the flu or it might not. It doesn’t hurt to find out.”

Hayley sighed as she took the bag and shook her head. “Oli and I have been trying and trying. So far, we’ve gotten nothing. If it couldn’t happen then, I doubt it could happen now.”

“You don’t know that,” Kat pointed out. “For all you know, maybe the results will be different this time.”

She walked past Hayley and headed back toward the door. “Like I said, it doesn’t hurt to find out. The worst that could happen is that it’s not positive. But I have a feeling it will be.”

Kat walked out and left before Hayley could protest or even speak out. She just stood there, holding the bag that contained the pregnancy tests that could tell her whether or not the moment she had been waiting for had finally come.

Maybe I shouldn’t take the test. That was her initial thought. She could’ve tossed those boxes aside and figure out what to do with them later. But as she played out the idea in her head, she knew there’d be a few holes. Obviously Kat would ask her about it and Hayley already was uncomfortable with lying. How could she even lie to Kat? Then that’s when she felt like kicking herself because why the hell would she even think of this awful idea at all?

Why didn’t she want to take it? This wasn’t like one of those movies where she met some random guy, they had a one-night stand, and the pregnancy was unwanted and unexpected. She and Oli had decided way back in January that they actually wanted kids and had been doing all they could to make it happen. Not once during the past seven months had they had any seconds thoughts about it. They were absolutely sure they were ready, so when Kat told her to take another test, what was holding her back?

Then it hit her: she feared that it would be like all the other times she tried. That it was time for her to realize that she could never get pregnant. Months passed and every single time she’d get the same negative result. It was like somebody was standing in front of her and yelling “No” to her face, leaving her feeling like such a failure. She couldn’t take going through that again and combined with these cancelled shows, all Hayley wanted was a win. Just one win to lift her up. So when Kat told her to give it another try, it was either the win she needed or another slap in the face.

And yet, there was a sliver of hope still within her that this could, in fact, be different. Kat seemed so sure of it, like she knew something Hayley didn’t and she really couldn’t argue with that. Her friend had gone through pregnancy already and it made more sense that this wasn’t the flu because the fever still wasn’t there and considering how pale Hayley was, it would’ve been easy to notice if she was red. Only she wasn’t. This could be it. This could really finally be it.

Alf was on the bed staring at her, wondering what could be wrong this time. Hayley stared back at him for a brief moment before disappearing into the bathroom with the two boxes in hand.

It was pretty easy for her to go through the process after doing it so many times. In a matter of minutes, she had opened one of the tests and right away did what she had to do. Even after a few times, it was still awkward for her to take it, but she didn’t mind as much after getting used to the steps. She also had to remember to thank Taylor for making her drink so much water earlier. Next came the waiting, which had to be the longest two minutes of her life. She washed her hands while the time passed and began pacing back and forth, constantly checking her phone to see if the two minutes were up.

It had been two minutes. The test stick was on the counter near the sink and she was gazing at it from a distance, almost as if she couldn’t move any closer. Hayley took a deep breath and slowly picked up the stick, her eyes focusing on the two windows that contained the results. One window was a small square and on it was a blue line that indicated that the test had worked. The other window was round and bigger so anyone could easily read what was on it. She looked at the round window and her eyes widened when she finally got her answer.

In the round window were two blue lines that formed a plus sign.

Hayley’s first reaction was to gasp, then what followed was almost a scream, only to be muffled by the hand that she had clamped over it. She just kept looking at this stick, not blinking and barely breathing because after trying for seven months, a test came out positive. She was still trying to register if this was even real, nearly expecting those blue lines to fade away or for her to wake up. This was certainly not a dream and to further confirm that, she opened the second test and did it again. In the end, she got another plus sign.

She was in the middle of washing her hands a second time when she heard the sound of Alf scratching at the bathroom door. Clearly, Hayley had been in there way too long for him to wait, so he made sure to let her know that he wanted her attention that very second. Right after she opened the door, she immediately picked up Alf, giggling and spinning him around because she was so happy. Kat was right and Hayley didn’t worry about the missed shows anymore.

All she could think about was that she was going to have a baby and she wanted to sing it to the sky for the whole universe to hear.

Her celebration was interrupted by the door knocking again. She guessed that it was probably Kat coming to check on her and see if she took the tests, leading Hayley to open the door to eagerly tell her the good news. But it turned out that it wasn’t Kat on the other side and standing in the doorway was Oli.

He didn’t give her time to react, pulling her close to him so their lips could meet. Though still surprised, she allowed herself to relax and enjoy the kiss. Her arms were practically clutching at him so she could wrap them around him to keep him near her. Forget the bed. Feeling Oli’s touch and those soft lips on hers was her true Heaven.

When he pulled away from her so she could catch her breath, she looked up at him. “Oli, what are you doing here? You didn’t have to come visit me.”

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to,” he said. “As soon as I heard you were sick, I knew I had to come here to see if you were okay. It looks like you are. You look more than okay, actually.”

“I’m sick, but you kissed me anyway.” Hayley smirked.

Oli cupped her cheek. “If you honestly still think that’s going to stop me from making out with you, then you’re dead wrong.”

Rolling her eyes, she placed her hand over his and leaned her head against his chest. “You’re such a dork, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I guess I came here at the right time.” he chuckled. “I was just talking to Taylor before I came to your room. He said something about having dinner and what’s this about you having the flu?”

She looked up at him, her eyes lighting up and the smile already on her face growing bigger. At the mention of the flu, his expression returned to being serious and a part of her wanted to laugh a bit at how the guys must’ve been worried about her well-being. It was sweet of them and she would be forever grateful for how much they cared, but for this particular moment she was so excited to tell them how wrong she was. It was even better that Oli was right there in front of her. If she was going to break the news to him that they were finally going to be parents after all those months of trying, preparing, and her concerns of it ever happening, nothing was better than seeing him respond right before her eyes

“About that...” she began. “I have to tell you something.”

“Wait, tell me what?” he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Is something wrong? Is it worse than the flu?”

“It’s not the flu,” she assured him with a laugh. “It’s so much better than that.”

“Better?” Oli repeated. “What do you mean by better?”

She let her hands travel up so that they were holding the sides of his face. “By better, I mean that just before you came to my door, something happened. I found out the most amazing thing and what makes it even more amazing is that you’re here so I can tell you everything.”

Hayley was doing that thing where she purposely built up the suspense so that it ate away at him, which never failed to work. He was dying to know what she wanted to share with him, dying to hear this amazing secret she had.

“Oli,” she spoke softly, her green eyes brighter than ever as they locked with his. “We’re going to have a baby.”

He froze, gaping at her and slowly loosening his hold on her so that his arms fell to his sides. Then in one second, his mouth curled into a grin that was wider than Hayley’s own smile. He enveloped her into a warm hug, his arms winding around her while he gave her yet another kiss. Oli eventually started laughing against her lips and she laughed along with him, feeling him pick her up as they rejoiced. She wrapped her legs around his waist and gazed at this wonderful man who would soon be her husband and the father of her child. His reaction was far better than what she imagined.

“We’re gonna be parents,” he breathed. “We’re really gonna be parents. Holy fuck.”

She giggled and threaded her fingers through his hair. “We’re gonna be the coolest parents ever.”

They used to think they wouldn’t have much of a future, that there was no point in moving forward because it all seemed bleak. But now they could picture it all so clearly. All the great memories to come where they’ll be living in pure happiness as a weird and crazy yet loving family. So yeah, they were going to be pretty cool parents and they both fully intended to keep that promise.